Pickpockets

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1

Check them out.

Hello.

Well, I think so.

Check again, please.

I left those papers in the office...

I brought some, but not all of them...

Now you tell me!

I am on my way.

Sir, somebody just spit on you,

be careful.

Help!

Help!

Watch out for the cops!

Come on, run!

Run, run. Run!

Calm down! Let's go!

Help is on the way.

Stop them!

Get him there!

You go that way!

Hold it right there!

Hold it there, don't jump!

Stay calm.

The cops almost got you, you idiot.

We didn't need to mess

the guy up like that.

Well, I thought you were gonna give him

mouth-to-mouth.

Doggy, Maicol pulled out a knife...

It's no big deal, Fresh.

I'm serious.

Next time you need to stay sharp.

Next time...

not even the saint on your keychain

will save you.

Okay, go ahead.

Where is it?

Again.

Now where is it?

No. Here it is.

Rico.

Good evening.

A**hole.

Well, look at this...

one day they will have

cameras everywhere...

under the bed...

in the bathroom...

up your ass.

You know, Chucho...

you're watching everyone...

but I'm watching you.

What we came for.

I need more time.

Which is your good hand, Chucho?

No, Rico.

That one.

Rico...

We'll cut the other one so

you can't say cops don't have hearts.

Flaco, go ahead.

Look here!

Take a look at these!

Let's see...

How did you get those?

You just left them in the lurch.

You had to go into hiding,

and that happens.

But it speaks well of you.

Because you still love and miss them.

Your wife is really pretty.

Not my family, Rico.

Not me...

but people in Spain are very corrupt.

RESIDENT APPLICATION

What are you doing, you damn thief?

Let me go!

-Got a light?

-What?

A light.

Thanks. Sorry.

Thanks.

Son of a b*tch!

Hello... Sir?

Young man, it's for you.

-For me?

-Yes, for you.

Hello?

I saw you trying to rob that guy.

You're lucky you didn't get caught.

Who is this?

Say hello to the camera!

I'll give you another chance.

What are you talking about?

Bye.

Calm down, I'll give you back your phone.

-See that statue?

-Yes.

Look over by the door.

Thanks.

Hello... What do you want?

I want to teach you to be

the best pickpocket in Bogot.

Interested?

I'll see you in two hours

at the Saint Moritz.

Son of a b*tch.

SAN MORITZ CAFE:

What do you see?

People.

Look closer.

They're drinking, they're playing cards.

You know what I see here?

Money.

Watch.

Ma'am, you dropped some money.

-Thank you.

-You're welcome.

-Excuse me, the restroom?

-In the back, to the left.

Thank you very much.

You see?

You don't have to beat them up

to steal from them.

-Sir, an aguardiente and a soda, please.

-Yes, sir.

Excuse me, sir...

you dropped your wallet on the floor,

be careful.

Thank you.

Yesterday was an accident.

It was just plain stupid.

You almost killed him.

It's my job to see everything

on the streets.

To monitor, in a room with cameras.

I see everything.

And I f*** anyone who disobeys.

I don't care about your cameras.

Thanks, man.

-Thank you.

-You're welcome.

How much did you make today?

I bet it was less than $60,000.

What is it to you?

I made more in five minutes than you can

dream about making in one day.

How did you do it?

You saw me.

Skill, intelligence.

If you're smart you'll work for me.

I don't work for cops.

We all work for the cops in this city.

Now let me teach you something else.

Soon, somebody's gonna miss their wallet,

so I'd best be out of here.

And so should you.

Just what you wanted, right?

What's up, Jaime.

Look.

Here's what I made today.

-Jaime.

-Huh?

This isn't even 10% of what we brought in.

-What's going on?

-I didn't think you could count.

Look, Jaime, we take the risks.

Pay us more.

Are you saying I don't take risks?

I never said that.

So take a walk then.

Get lost.

But if you're interested

in a bigger cut...

I may have something for you.

I know this forger...

his copies are almost identical.

These bills are kind of funny.

How do I know they're not fake?

Tell me if you see a difference.

I don't pay my debts with forgeries.

Are you kidding?

Take a look.

These are fakes.

They're identical.

Look closer.

Look at what?

Garavito's left ear.

The f***er put an earring on the guy!

-Can I keep this one?

-Whatever.

I need you to bring me the real bills.

Okay, fine.

But no guns.

Huh.

Hey, Jaime, take it easy!

Jaime.

What?

You thought I'd give you guys a real gun?

You kids aren't ready for that.

You think it's funny?

-See you later.

-Bye.

Hey, Maicol!

He's headed your way.

Go ahead, jerk.

Don't let me down.

Shut up!

Don't move.

Take it easy...

The briefcase, old man...

There is only paper

in the briefcase.

I will put a hole in your head.

Really? With water, a**hole?

-Who are you calling an a**hole?

-You, a**hole!

Let's go.

Maicol, come on!

F***er!

Fresh, this is a lot of money, man.

It's over, man.

You think too much, Bro.

-This guy was probably a total idiot.

-What does that make us?

We're idiots too...

but not quite as bad.

I'm tired of this sh*t!

I don't wanna be a f***ing thief

the rest of my life.

You're in the wrong business.

Open your eyes.

Doggy, we can make good money

without beating anybody up.

Believe me.

TAILOR SHOP:

HIGH SOCIETY:

What do we have to do?

Amazing!

It only took you 12 seconds to open

that big mouth of yours.

You have to learn to breathe.

Stop being so antsy.

The first thing you need to learn is that

clock time is not pickpocket time.

We're like magicians that way.

Right?

For magic to work you need two things:

a magician and a spectator.

A victim and a victimizer.

It's important to learn to make the victim

look where you want him to look.

And even more important,

to control their minds.

The human mind can only focus

on one thing at a time.

We never see the totality.

We see things in pieces.

Words distract the mind...

and the body distracts the eyes.

When you go steal a wallet, always use

these two fingers as pinchers.

These are your working fingers.

These two, together.

Got it?

Come here, Antsy.

Ready, Champ?

Give it a try.

Take it easy on the dummy.

He never did anything to you.

Keep practicing till you can get

the wallets without triggering the bells.

The guy's a magician!

He's got the world's fastest hands!

He could've left me standing there

naked without me knowing it.

Chucho is just some pickpocket myth.

Why?

Because he's Spanish.

So?

That stuff about being

the world's best pickpocket...

Well, he is.

Even if he was, he wouldn't be hiding in

Colombia from people wanting to kill him.

-Hi.

-Hi.

-Got any Latin Music?

-Over there in the middle.

Thanks.

Take a look.

For me.

You heard of him? The Father of Scratch.

What?

Andrs Landero.

Now that's old school, old school cumbia.

We used to play that stuff

in my dad's band.

Come on, begging for coins on the street

isn't making music.

Besides... cumbia is what led

to that f***ing reggaeton.

-What do you got against reggaeton?

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