Picture Perfect Page #7

That is different.

Um, well, how did

you get into that?

Uh, I was looking

for a job

that would require me to work

as few days a week as possible,

and your midweek wedding

is a pretty unusual occurrence.

You can actually make

a living that way?

Videotaping a wedding

or two on the weekends?

I mean, that

satisfies you?

No.

But once I started

videotaping people's weddings,

they would, you know,

come up to me for other things.

You know, "My wife's having a baby

shower. Could you videotape that? '

Or "Hey, my daughter's getting baptized.

Could you come on by? '

Or "My kid's got the lead in the school

play. You got to be there."

I was working 6, 7 days

a week, and I loved it.

I can't explain it

really.

Something about watching a baby being

welcomed to the world by its new family

or a kid getting his first at bat

in a little league game.

I don't know.

I don't know.

It's, uh...

It's an honor.

It's an honor that these people asked me

to be there for those moments...

and I get paid for it.

I'd like to propose

one last toast...

to our new friend Nick...

definitely someone

I'd like to have in my lifeboat.

Hear, hear.

Cheers.

Thank you.

What do you say,

honey?

Don't be afraid

to dive right in.

Whoo.

Ahem.

I suddenly realized

that I haven't told you

how beautiful you look tonight.

Oh, Nick, come on.

Don't waste that stuff.

Nobody's here.

They can't hear you.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Do you want to dance?

Maybe we should dance.

Yeah, yeah.

So how do you

think it's going?

Um, fine, I guess.

But you know if one of us

doesn't start this fight pretty soon,

um, everybody's

going to miss it.

Right.

I was, uh...

I was thinking.

What if, um, what if I didn't

pick a fight with you tonight?

You know, what if we finished

our meal with these people and...

And what?

Um, I don't know.

You know, I...

You know,

I could come down on weekends.

I could get to

know you better.

Ahem.

You could always

break up with me...

down the road,

you know?

Mm-hmm.

Sorry if I'm making your life

more complicated, Kate, okay?

But I find you

so attractive.

Okay, stop! Don't!

Listen, don't say that.

Come on. See,

that is why I wanted to pay you.

Okay. No, you're right.

I'm sorry.

I can't believe I'm apologizing

for liking you.

Is it this other guy?

This guy that's not your boyfriend?

Shh! Leave him out

of this, all right?

We had a deal.

That's all.

Then why isn't he

your boyfriend, Kate?

If you like him so much

and he likes you,

then why isn't he

your boyfriend?

Because, technically,

I'm unavailable

because, technically,

you are my boyfriend, okay?

Oh. So let me get

this straight.

You're sleeping with a guy who,

technically, you can't go out with,

but you won't even

consider just dating me,

who, technically, you're going to

marry and have kids with.

Okay, look. Listen, I don't want to

date you. I don't want to marry you.

I don't want to have kids with you.

I just want to break up with you.

Please, that's

why we're here. Okay?

So please can we

just stick to the plan?

Please.

See you

Wednesday, all right?

Mrs. Davenport:
Good night.

Well, sorry, kids,

but we're out of here.

No, no, no,

you can't leave yet.

I know, I know, I sense

that something big is in the air,

but I've got to

get up early.

We've got a meeting

with a marriage counselor.

Nick, um, pleasure

meeting you,

and you are everything

Kate said you would be.

Good night.

Good night!

Mrs. Mercer:
Good night.

Good night.

Mrs. Mercer:
Oh, I love her.

Jackie, she turned me on

to a great pilates teacher.

Very ambitious.

Honestly.

This has been such

a wonderful evening.

Thank you. Thanks.

Yes, it has been.

It really has been.

Mr. Davenport:
Well, um,

one for the road?

My! Honey!

Are you-excuse me.

This is so weird, I-

Come on!

Everything all right

under there?

Ooh! Yeah!

I just, uh, kicked

myself in the shin.

He's always-He's

always doing that.

He just has this

weird tic thing that...

Spasm.

Oh, honey, you know

what? By the way,

don't bother flying

in next weekend.

I mean, I really need to spend

Saturday and Sunday

figuring out

the new media buys

for the next round

of Gulden's tests.

Oh. Hey.

If you got to work,

you got to work, right?

I mean, how often does somebody

our age get the opportunity

that Kate has?

There's a team

player right there.

You guys,

team-shmeam.

Oh, you know what else,

though?

About your parents'

35th anniversary party?

Mmm?

I don't think I can

commit to the date, honey.

I'm sorry.

I just can't.

I don't know where we're going to

be with Gulden's at that point.

Don't worry about it.

I'm sure Mom and Dad will understand.

You can see them

on their 36th anniversary.

Darling, you know

what else on that other issue?

I've decided no babies until I

put in a good 10 years at the agency.

I mean, I think

I owe Mr. Mercer that.

You know,

I had a hunch.

So that's why

next weekend-

when you're working,

of course-

I'm going to look into

that surrogate mother thing

we talked about, okay?

I mean, a man's got to do

what a man's got to do, you know?

Excuse me just for a second,

'cause I'll be right back.

Excuse me.

Hurry back, honey.

Oh, don't worry.

I will.

Okay.

Excuse me, I was wondering-Could you

dial a phone number for me?

Certainly,

Mademoiselle.

But I mean, even then, you know,

with all that, I still just knew.

My God, she was

20 pounds heavier.

I mean, that's hard

to imagine.

Yeah, it is, huh?

Hey, there she is.

Here I am.

Have a nice little chat

with yourself?

Yes,

I certainly did.

I think it's

in your purse.

Ha! It's ours.

Hello?

Yes. Hold, please.

It's for you.

It's her.

Who her? What?

Oh, come on, Nick.

This is humiliating enough.

Would you just

take the phone?

Hello?

There's nobody there,

Kate.

Well, no, not now

there isn't. No!

Darling?

I thought that was over.

I thought she was out of your life.

I can't believe you.

I can't believe this.

I'm sorry. This is-Oh, God!

Well, maybe the rest of us

should go to the bar for a few moments.

No, no, no!

We-We-We can go

to the bar, please!

We can go to the bar.

Honey, why don't we go to the bar

where we can talk about this?

No. You go to the bar, Nick!

You go to the bar,

because that's where people go

when they want to meet people

other than their wives

and their fiances, isn't it?

And besides, you know what?

We have nothing to talk about

because we had an agreement

and you broke it!

And I don't think

I like you very much anymore!

Mrs. Mercer:
You're doing

the right thing, honey.

Put your foot down now.

Thank you.

So I have a mistress.

You mean you admit it?

Yes.

I admit it.

Okay.

Yeah, I admit it.

I'm not ashamed of it, okay?

And you know why

I have a mistress?

Because she has

a mistress, too.

She's gay?

What are you saying?

- You want to know what I'm saying?

- Yeah!

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