Picture This

MANDY:
My world was divided into

two kingdoms.

There was Camelot,

and then there was where I lived.

MAN:
Stay behind the red line

until you are clear.

(SIREN BLARING)

MAN:
Only those with work visas for

Camelot will be allowed to pass.

MANDY:
Which we call Nottingham,

as in not gated, not rich,

not popular, not cool.

They didn't let us into their kingdom

and they'd rarely sully themselves

by venturing into ours.

(THAT STUFFPLAYING)

On the day before my 18th birthday,

a terrible thought drifted into my head.

What if I remained a crusty nobody

for what little remained

of my high school life?

were in the hottie or high hottie bracket,

and most of the guys looked like

they wandered out

of an Abercrombie & Fitch catalog.

And then there is Drew Patterson.

(SIGHS)

l have been secretly in love with him

since seventh grade.

All I wanted was for him

to just simply acknowledge me.

To just say my name.

(ALARM RINGING)

But for that to happen,

for me to finish this march through hell

they called high school

and go out with style, I needed skills.

I needed my Excalibur.

WOMAN:
Information is power.

MANDY:
The video phone.

With such a weapon in hand, I might just

have a chance at becoming a somebody.

There's just one hideous criminal

mastermind standing in my way.

(KNOCK ON DOOR)

Mandy, 7:
22. Gonna be late.

MANDY:
My mom died when I was four.

And even though he loves me,

Dad had issues about letting go.

TOM:
You want to make some kind of noise

so I know you're all right?

(COUGHS)

Thanks.

(SINCERELY ME PLAYING

ON CAR RADIO)

It's your birthday tomorrow, isn't it?

Yeah.

May have got a few surprises

up my sleeve.

(CELL PHONE RINGING)

-Hello?

-ALEXA:
Mandy.

(STATIC)

-Alexa?

-Yeah.

What? Hello?

-I can't hear you.

-What?

Okay, I can't talk now.

-Dad.

-Yeah?

I hope you know how much

I seriously need a new phone.

What?

I can't even begin to scheme or spy

or conspire like everyone else.

It's such a burn. I'm in high school.

-I need survival skills.

-Kitten, I...

I am socially handicapped with this relic.

I can't even send or receive

pictures or video.

And can you possibly

stop calling me kitten?

-What?

-I'm gonna be 18 years, not months.

Okay?

(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)

Don't say it, don't say it, don't say it,

don't say it, don't say it, don't say it.

Bye, kitten.

(TOM HONKING HORN)

(CELL PHONE RINGING)

-Hello?

-Mandy?

Cayenne.

-Have you seen Drew yet?

-No, not yet.

He must have been a great warrior

or a king in a past lifetime.

I could write a thousand songs about him

and I'd just be scratching the surface.

Mandy, he's right behind you.

BOY:
What's up, Drew?

Good morning, Drew.

Hey, there.

Check it out.

It's kind of cute in a pathetic way.

Poor thing. Salivating over my Drew.

So sad, knowing her whole life

she'll never know a hunk.

You're mine.

(ALL EXCLAIMING)

I can't believe you did that.

Why didn't I think of it?

LISA:
Check it out,

granny panties up ahead.

This is Lisa Cross reporting live

for the fashion challenged.

(LAUGHING)

Nice girdle, Granny.

(BETTER PLAYING)

(CELL PHONES RINGING)

So you'll keep remembering me

Better take a look at what you had

Better figure out something the next time

When you keep remembering me

(BELL RINGING)

Evil One's cruelty knows no bounds.

Your ass is on every phone in school.

Forget about him, Mandy,

he's not only dating the Antichrist,

but he's upper crust.

And we are trying to claw our way up

to the middle-class.

He lives in a gated community.

We live in a dated community.

Mandy, are you even listening to me?

I don't care what you guys say.

I'm gonna get Drew to notice me.

(WHISTLE BLOWING)

The swim team? That's your plan to get

the Adonis of high school to notice you?

You look like a whole new species.

Maybe someone from

the Discovery Channel will notice you.

Okay, the boys practice after sixth period

in pool one, the girls, pool two.

It's at least a shot.

(GROANS)

I think you actually enjoy being a klutz,

because you know how much happiness

it brings to others.

(HEART BEATING)

(COUGHING)

(GASPING)

(ECHOING)

Are you all right, Mandy?

My name. You said my name.

Your hands...

Though tingly, maybe inappropriately

placed while we're on school property.

Right.

(CHUCKLES)

I can't believe Drew actually noticed me.

You were dying.

You were going into the light at his feet.

Well, it's a start.

(CELL PHONE RINGING)

Hello?

Tell Mandy to hide, Lisa's here.

She's toxic.

She'll put a curse on her or something.

In junior high,

I heard she made it rain toads.

Alexa, what a pretty smock

and a name tag.

(SPEAKING FRENCH)

Very red state.

-Mandy's not here right now in case you...

-I already saw her.

You need to work on your lying.

It's a vital social skill.

-Mandy.

-Hi.

I didn't know frizzy hair was back in.

Must be so humbling.

Schlepping dog food around

for minimum wage.

You are such an inspiration.

Where are the dog collars?

(WHISPERING) Drew lost his.

Aisle four.

You know what she's doing, don't you?

She's trying to not so subtly show Drew

you're just a lowly shop girl.

It's okay, I'm not ashamed

of being a shop girl.

And caring for animals is not lowly.

Sorry about Lisa

and her superiority complex.

How you feeling?

Great. Thanks again for saving my life.

You're welcome.

So, you've got a thing for animals?

Yeah.

Yeah, although Homo sapiens

can be difficult.

I'm going to UCSB for zoology

and then I'm gonna be a vet.

-How about you?

-USC, business school.

The acorn doesn't fall far

from the tree and all that.

Cool, follow your dream and all that.

It's not my dream.

Maybe you can help me.

My cat Andy's been feeling really funky.

Well, is his tummy pouched out, bloated?

Because if it is, he probably has worms.

You might want to try this.

Six drops in every meal.

Thanks, doc.

Maybe I'll see you around?

Yeah, maybe.

Where might you see me around,

around where?

I don't know.

The commons, tomorrow after school?

See you.

(ALL SO DIFFERENT PLAYING)

Freshman varsity football,

basketball, swim team.

Voted best hair, best eyes, best kisser.

(SIGHS)

Drew Patterson

at the commons tomorrow.

Who am I kidding?

I'm so not ready for this.

TOM:
Mandy, do you want some breakfast?

(YAWNING)

(SYMPHONY TO ODE TO JOY PLAYING)

(CELL PHONE RINGING)

Hello?

Do you like it?

Are you kidding? I love it!

Yeah, I got one, too.

-Oh, my gosh. Thanks, Daddy.

-Happy birthday, kitten.

Now we can stay in contact 24/7.

It's gonna be great, right?

Yeah, yeah, it'll be cool.

Here, make a mean face.

You have your own special ring tone.

All right, gift number two.

Somebody, I think, asked for...

Contacts? Oh, my gosh.

You have got to be kidding.

(TOM LAUGHING)

Yes, I'm not sure why you need them.

You're already too beautiful.

In fact, promise me you're not gonna go

hang out with the delinquents at the lake.

Dad. Okay, I won't. I promise.

I cannot wait

to show Alexa and Cayenne this.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes