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Oh, my gosh. Dad, you're the best.

And I'm going to the commons

right after school.

Okay, okay. Hey, wait, wait, wait.

There's one more birthday surprise,

perhaps the bestest.

You know how you've been talking

about going away to school, right?

Well, I think I may have found

the perfect compromise.

I've been working on this for a long time.

It's a duplex in Ventura.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can commute

to UCSB. I can get to work.

It's the same distance,

I'll show you on the computer.

Anyways, I'm down here in this level and

you have this whole top floor to yourself.

Huh?

Boy.

Those two apartments are so close.

-Right?

-Yeah.

Just like you and me. It's perfect.

Hey, kitten, don't forget to floss.

(SCREAMING)

I couIdn't very well tell him

that the concept was only

slightly less terrifying

than being buried alive.

Especially after he just bought me

this massively cool phone.

You are officially out of the Stone Age.

You've evolved.

So, the plan is we find a suitable place

for me to hang and be irresistibly alluring.

And when we see him,

we casually blurt out,

''We know where

a certain sex goddess is.''

Battle stations.

-WAITRESS:
Here you go.

-Thanks.

CAYENNE:
What if he's just playing her?

I mean, forgive me for feeling like

some teenage male as fresh as Drew

might be a tad insincere,

but I don't want Mandy to get hurt.

And I keep schooling you,

listen to the songs.

They tell all. People want to get hurt.

They're just begging

to get their hearts broken.

What's up? Have you guys seen Mandy?

Oh. Um...

Hi, Drew.

(CELL PHONE RINGING)

-ALEXA:
Mandy?

-Yeah.

Alexa, speak. Use your words.

-At Jalapeno's.

-Jalapeno's, great. Thanks.

Smile.

Yes.

Oh, my God.

(PANTING)

Oh, my God. Mouth's burning.

I need water, I need water. I need water!

Guzzling right from the bev bar.

That is so Hercules.

(CHUCKLING)

Yes.

Well, we all have our special talents.

Do you want a drink?

I could get you a beverage receptacle.

(YOU ARE PART OF EVERYTHING PLAYING)

A cup would be awesome.

Thanks.

You know something funny?

Some guys actually try out

for the boys' team,

'cause the girls practice

in the pool next door.

They think they'll notice them

or something.

(LAUGHS ) Wow.

That's a really doofus move. Lame.

-I like your laugh.

-Thanks.

God, Lisa hardly ever laughs.

She's got a burning scream, though.

And when does she...

I mean, how do you know?

Oh! Uh...

Delete that, I so don't want to know

unsavory details.

Scary movies.

She screams at scary movies.

Scary movies.

Duh.

-The new video phone?

-Yeah.

Wow. Who's this scary dude?

-That's my dad.

-Wow. Okay.

-Big Father's watching you.

-Yeah.

Look, do you want to hang out?

Well, what about Lisa?

Lisa doesn't own me.

She just thinks she does.

We're having a kick-back.

Meet me at the lake in 20?

Sure, 20.

At the lake.

-Hello.

-Hey, sis.

Hey, Peyton. How you doing, buddy?

Good to... Why does he run

to the other room every single time?

Because he knows you, you know.

Children sense things.

And he senses that you're so busy being

controlling and overbearing with Mandy,

you don't have time to bond

with your own nephew.

I think that's unfair and judgmental.

You know, once Mandy goes off to college,

you won't be needing stuff in bulk

like this anymore,

but you might just need a certain nephew

to help you fill the void.

There's not gonna be a void. Oh, no.

Perhaps you haven't really embraced

the concept of the plex.

You see, and let me explain this again...

God, you can't be serious

about this duplex thing.

I'm very serious. And look at this.

I got one for Mandy and myself.

We each have one.

So no matter where she goes,

no matter what she does,

no matter who she's doing it with,

I'm right there with her the whole time.

How genius is that?

-And you think that's a good thing?

-Yeah.

God, she's not a little girl anymore,

she's a woman, Tom.

-Yeah.

-This is the time where you need to

-learn to let go, not hold on tighter.

-I know that.

What, you think I don't know that?

No, you don't.

(DAY IN THE SUN PLAYING)

Just having fun with my day in the sun

Taking off with the wind in my hair

Make no plans, I have no...

(GIRL CHATTERING ON CELL PHONE)

-Hey, have you seen Drew?

-Do you mind?

Sorry, I can't hear you.

Some idiot's talking to me.

(CELL PHONE RINGING)

-Hey, where are you?

-To your left, I'll come to you.

(EX CLAIMS)

It's time to take

the training wheels off, kiddo.

Hey.

Oh!

Lisa, sweetie.

We have a serious 911 situation

on our hands.

(SCREAMING)

(UNSTOPPABLE PLAYING)

(TIRES SQUEALING)

That's me, I'm unstoppable

I've been wanting to ask you something.

Why did you want to hang out with me?

-I'm not really one of you people.

-You people?

Ouch!

No, no, no.

I just meant, objectively speaking.

I'm not really your type,

you know, whatsoever.

I'm not exactly a prom queen or anything.

Well,

maybe I dig you because

you're not like everybody else.

And I feel like I can be myself around you.

And I like your eyes.

And...

Does a guy really have to explain

why he thinks a girl's hot?

-You think I'm hot?

-Totally.

I swear I'm gonna hurl.

(RINGING)

I think it's Mandy's. She dropped it.

And that looks like a parental unit.

Hello? Who am I speaking to?

This is Mandy's father.

Who am I speaking to?

It's Mandy's father.

Well, you're in luck.

I think your little angel's

around here somewhere.

Mandy, it's for you, sweetie.

(GASPS) No!

TOM:
Hello, Mandy? Hello? Mandy, hello?

-Dad?

-Yeah, hi. Where are you?

Uh...

The commons.

Really? Show me.

Excuse me?

Mandy, I need you to show me a picture

with your phone of the commons.

Now.

ALEXA:
Hi.

I love what they've done with the place.

I'll see you at home in 10 minutes.

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

Sorry, I have to go.

It was really nice knowing you.

-I hope you can make it to my funeral.

-Wait. Look.

Saturday night, I'm having this party and

I was wondering if you wanted to come.

I'll leave your name at the gate.

-Wait, are you...

-Asking you out?

Yes.

Mandy, will you go out with me?

To your party?

I mean, the biggest, most glamorous,

important party of the year?

-Me?

-Yeah.

-With you?

-Yeah.

So you'll come?

I mean, what could possibly stop you?

You're grounded.

No! No, no, no. Dad, Dad, Dad. Wait. Okay.

You don't understand.

I can't be grounded, okay?

Okay, do you not get it?

Dad, he is like the hottest guy in school

and he asked me to his party

this weekend, Dad.

Dad, it is Drew Patterson.

Drew Patterson, right. He's the rabid

primate that was groping you.

It's amazing how you can watch

these videos over and over and over.

Dad, we are not bonding here.

The problem, Mandy, is that this is just

another example of how you don't listen.

As a matter of fact,

you're double-grounded.

-Double-grounded?

-I'm sorry, did I say double?

'Cause I meant triple.

Triple-grounded?

Yeah, 'cause you can't go out, you can't

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