Pirates

Captain Red! Capt...

The hook, the hook!

- Was that you?

- What?

I thought I heard...

It sounded like... a pig.

Must be the heat.

Now, now, Froggy? Be reasonable.

Come on down, you little baboon.

- You want to eat me. Damn it.

- It's a law of nature...

by thunder!

The strong always eat the weak.

Come on down lad...

make an effort.

- Cannibal!

- Come on, piggy-wiggy.

I'm not piggy, I'm the Frog.

Cannibalism is a mortal sin.

It will bring you bad luck!

You shall writhe in hellfire.

What about confession? What do

you think confession's for?

Sail ho! Sail ho to windward!

Devil take you, Frog,

have I not told you to trust me?

- Am I not proved right again.

- Aye, aye, Cap'n.

Well you're not to forget it,

you little rascal.

Never lose faith in divine

providence... never!

Watch out, lad! The shark, a shark.

'Twas good sport, though,

by thunder, 'twas indeed.

You can have me balls for breakfast

if 'twasn't, what do you say?

Whatever you say, Cap'n.

Then we're both agreed.

Ah-hoy! A-hoy there!

Dang me buttons!

There's a thin slice o' luck!

See her colors?

Spaniard!

Quick, quick... The documents,

for heaven's sake!

Me gold!

- Miserable wretch!

- God will be your ruin, Cap'n.

- It will cost us our heads.

- Easier to live without a head than...

without gold, you numskull.

I fight for hatred or the Spaniard...

I fight for glory, not gold!

A man fights for what he lacks the most.

Shiver me soul!

- What, Cap'n Red?

- "What, Cap'n Red?

What, Cap'n Red?" Can't you see those

whore-sons ain't a-changin' course?

She'll run straight past us, all sail

set and the wind up her tail.

Aye, Cap'n... she's holding course.

Per-perhaps...

'tis a ghost ship?

Ghost or no ghost, we need

a- rescuing', by thunder.

- Ahoy!

- Ahoy there!

Ahoy on deck!

- Here, Frog! I'm stuck!

- Drop the chest, Cap'n!

- Drop the chest!

- Never!

Three.

Four.

Five.

Six.

Quick, quick... Pull.

Pull, damn it...

Help! Help! Here...

Me treasure! Murder!

Five-and-twenty years of

unstintin' toil! All me savings!

Down to the brig with them!

Come over here, and open your lug-holes.

If they should question us remember

this:
henceforth, I'm Benjamin Parr...

- of London, understand?

- I understand, Cap'n.

Cotton shipper for Matthew Spencer

and Company, right?

Attacked at night by pirates.

On board the... "The Morning Star".

Sunk with all hands. We're the

sole survivors. Repeat.

Benjamin Parr of London,

cotton shipper of...

Tobacco or vanilla would be better.

- And who might you be, sir?

- Joseph Seraphin Amadeus Boomako.

- Boomako?

- Boomako, ship's cook.

- What the devil are you doin' down here?

- I'm in irons, Captain.

- And why's that, pray?

- Spaniards loco...

they say Boomako poison great

Captain Linares to steal throne.

- Throne? What throne?

- Throne of Kapatek-Anahuac.

Kapatek-Anahuac?

- Here?

- Who?

- The throne.

- Ah, here.

- You've seen it?

- Ah, by little hole.

- Where, for God's sake?

- Here. Put your eye here and you see...

If I may make so bold, they'd look very

well hanging from the yardarm.

Yet you have just informed me that

they were victims of a shipwreck.

A pair of dogs, Your Honor!

An Englishman and a Frenchman!

Lieutenant, I would remind you once

and for all, that the war is over.

- On paper, perhaps.

- When a treaty bears...

the sign manual of

His Most Catholic Majesty...

personal sentiments must take second

place to national obligations.

- You Honor's vinegar purge.

- Another! 'Tis the fourth today.

I assure you, doctor, I have naught

left inside me to be purged of.

And Spain's present obligations are

clearly defined by the Treaty...

- of Pyrenees...

- It will get cold, Your Honor.

which treaty expresses the will of our

noble King Philip the Fou... ourth...

A treaty signed by His Excellency

Cardinal Mazarin...

to the greater glory of our country

and the honor of our Holy Mother...

the Church.

Tut, tut...

- we haven't eaten our oatmeal.

- Quite possibly.

So we need look no further should Your

Honor have no movement of the bowels.

Now then. You were shipwrecked, I am told.

We were indeed, Your Honor, sir, till

divine providence saw fit - Deo gratias,

to put us in the way of this here

vessel belonging to the good King...

of Spain.

I see. This shipwreck...

how did it come about?

- Pirates... Devil take 'em!

- Who were these pirates?

'Twere too dark to see, sir.

I did hear 'em shout a name, though...

wait... I think... Ah, I heard

"Cap'n Red, what shall we do with 'em?"

"Kill 'em all," says he. "There's naught

but baccy and vanilla aboard this hulk. "

That was our cargo on the

"MorningStar", sir, tobacco and vanilla.

- You heard "Captain Red", are you sure?

- Sure as I've a timber leg, sir.

- He has been dead these past four years.

- Garcia Gomez put an end to him...

at Boca del Toro.

This dog must have been dreaming.

What ain't no dream, Your Honor,

is all I possessed...

went down in that there skirmish.

Homeward bound, I was...

after 18 years a-workin' me fingers to

the bone on a little vanilla plantation.

Life's always dealt me harsh.

Take this cursed leg o' mine;

crushed by a barrel of vanilla at

the tender age of three-and-twenty.

And the scar?

On your head...

was that a barrel of vanilla too?

Not at all, sir, not at all.

That's from the irons they used to pluck

me from me poor late mother's womb.

I 'hope Your Honor gaveno such

trouble to his own mother.

Some respect, dog!

Away with them.

Look at it sing,

the tasty little titbit!

Caramba, I could make

you sing a song or two.

And you wouldn't need your guitarra,

believe me!

Are you not, as I have had the

pleasure of bein' told, the carpenter?

Master Carpenter.

And a fine trade it is, by the power!

Many's the time I've regretted...

not learnin' it myself. Still, too

late now, and there's an end on it.

I perceived your kindly features at

once, master carpenter, and was a...

wonderin' whather pr'aps you might wishto

devote a little of your precious...

- time to me timber leg.

- What's amiss with it?

Cutt off short in its prime...

I drift to starboard every step I take.

These are some precious family heirlooms

what I've always refused to...

be parted from, even in times

of direst adversity.

Like this one here. 'Twere given me

by me favorite aunt.

- And the other?

- Ah, that one!

Me father gave that to me poor

old mother, God rest her!

Thank you, gentlemen.

I think we have settled matters

insofar as we are able.

Go take some rest and leave me to

prepare for my own, which I warrant...

this time will be a lasting one...

Long live the King!

- Long live Spain!

- Long live the King!

Long live Spain!

- I have done all I could, Your Honor.

- I know, my good Juanito, I know.

Alas, there are times when all is

not enough. Farewell, Doctor.

My son, unburden your soul

to Almighty God.

Confess your sins and repent

of them is humility...

- that they may be forgiven you.

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