Pirates of Silicon Valley Page #2

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end tonight? No problem. poker.

Or we're finally deciphering

the meaning of life.

More poker.

And winning. The guy'd have

a hairball if he'd lost...

...which wasn't often,

let me tell you.

- Full house.

- Oh. man.

Hey. Bill.

Our rooms were like a casino.

Actually, a messy casino.

And Bill slept wherever he fell down.

Bill. the revolution's starting

without us.

Bill and Paul Allen had known

each other since they were kids.

If the word "passion"

entered into their lives...

...it was for one thing: computers.

Especially this one made by some guy

in Albuquerque of all places.

What is this. porn for engineers?

Oh, jeez, the Altair.

Am I missing something?

I mean. Miss October. I can understand.

but what is this?

This is better than Miss October.

This is a computer.

- Oh. God.

- The article says...

...that they need someone

to figure out a language for it.

Right now

it just sits there and blinks.

Whoever talks to this Ed Roberts

has gotta go to Albuquerque to see him.

You should go because you look

better for that stuff than I do.

- I do not.

- You both look terrible.

- Just get used to it.

- What are we supposed to do?

It's simple.

You call him and say you're Paul.

And then Paul goes to Albuquerque

and says he's Paul.

So. what are you gonna say?

Hi. Mr. Ed Roberts. please.

This is Paul Allen. calling

from Cambridge. Massachusetts.

It's our job to find out what this guy

doesn't know that he needs...

...but does need and make sure

he knows he does need it...

...and that we're the only ones

to give him the answer.

What?

- Mr. Roberts?

- Yes. sir. Mr. Allen.

I tell you. I believe that we've

got one hot product here.

The reason I can speak that way is

because I've taken over 50 calls...

...from people wanting to come to

work with us on this Altair project.

So here's the deal.

I snuck two women into my room.

And they're naked.

I mean. like. really naked.

You know. like. gorgeous naked.

So don't say I never

did anything for you...

...because they're waiting

for you right now.

Drop dead. Ballmer.

Oh. and I told them...

...that you were writing

a computer language...

...and right away.

they start moaning for it.

Oh. computer languages.

Oh. Fortran.

Oh. Fortran.

Will you cut it out. Steve.

Excuse me. I'm just trying

to save you guys from...

...wasting your entire

Harvard reading week...

...over this Traf-O-Data simulator...

...while everyone else

is out getting drunk or laid.

- Paul. are those parts binary?

- I give up. I give up.

I give up. I give up.

Oh. duck. Bill.

Oh. you know. Bill. I think you gotta

come up with a better pickup line.

Asking her what her SAT score is

is definitely not gonna do it.

I forgot to write a loader.

That's not an improvement. Bill.

No. no. I just realized something.

Paul's on his way to Albuquerque.

I forgot to write the loader that connects

the computer to the Teletype.

And if he starts that machine.

and it can't read the tape, we're dead.

Unless he did it on the plane.

I'm finished.

- It's something I just realized.

- I hope so.

If this Albuquerque thing had worked.

I was gonna quit Harvard.

Are you crazy?

I gotta be a doctor or something.

Gynecologist. maybe.

- Come on.

- I'm flying.

Yeah. you're flying.

- Here we go.

- Ballmer.

You're the only guy I know

who pays the strippers...

...to put their clothes on.

Come on. drunkie.

Okay-

Hey. Bill...

...it's either the clothes or you.

but something...

...definitely needs to be hosed down.

- Sorry we failed.

- Come on.

- Good night.

- Sorry we failed.

Bill, Bill, Bill.

Bill, Bill, Bill.

It's an Altair.

They gave it to us as a gift.

We blew them away.

Woz. do we have to have mice?

Come on. I like mice. This is Irving.

Hey. man. you are putting poison

into your body.

Hey. hey. come on.

Give me those.

- That's french fries, man.

- That's what I mean.

French fries, all-American food.

Come on.

I can't eat like you do.

Eating fruit all the time.

That's weird.

It's not weird. It's pure.

Makes the soul pure.

Oh. wait. wait. You gotta listen to this.

I got a great one today.

Did you hear about the drunk who

came staggering out of the subway...

...and said, "Man, I got lost

in some guy's basement.

You should've seen the set

of trains he had"?

the Bay Area Dial-a-Joke Line,

making your day a barre! of laughs.

I got a new book of Polish jokes.

Man. it'll keep me going for years.

- Why?

- Why?

It makes people laugh.

I got people phoning in every day

just to hear my latest joke.

It makes their day better.

Are you sure this thing's

gonna work?

- If it doesn't catch fire.

- Don't even joke.

I like jokes.

Jokes make me feel good.

You know. I hired

a private detective today.

I wanna find my mother.

My real mother.

You never talk about that stuff

with me.

That part about being adopted and all.

Guy says he can probably find her.

Why do you always get freaked

out when Arlene asks about it?

Arlene? Arlene's got her own problems.

My parents don't want her in the house.

She phones me a million times a day.

At least I'm working on my stuff.

Feel better?

Now. Steve. tell the others

what you're feeling.

Like...

- Like it's gone.

- What is?

The anger.

Like the anger's gone.

It's gone.

Back then, our big thrill was going to

this thing they called the Homebrew Club.

It was where guys

spent all their spare time...

...trying to get access to computers

owned by the local corporations.

And people would go there

and show the stuff they just built.

Except most of it

didn't really work all that well.

--read in the Popular Electronics

issue about a year ago...

...about the new Altair 8800.

I was nervous that day we walked

in with my homemade computer...

...but I got a charge out of it.

All those guys...

---coming over and wanting

to talk to me.

The schematics we have--

- What is this thing?

- Check it out.

The first computer

you're ever gonna see.

What's the screen for?

I was never good at talking

to people in those days...

...but Steve. he was amazing.

Alexander Graham Bell when he heard his

first ring. that's as revolutionary as this is.

He's talking about the Altair? I never

had a problem till I tried to use it.

All of a sudden we found out what

we wanted to do with our lives.

- It was all we ever wanted.

- To 30.

Here is the first personal computer

that you're gonna wanna buy.

Man. 50! We sold 50.

IBM is gonna be

loading in their pants.

I don't even think

IBM knows who we are.

Good. This is guerrilla warfare.

- They're the enemy.

- They are?

I used to think maybe Steve was

born obsessed with wiping out IBM.

And in a way. you could see why.

I mean. in those days.

as far as we were concerned...

...IBM was practically

like the Pentagon.

Here were a bunch of guys

who dressed exactly the same...

...and sang company songs.

I mean. we were

these scruffy crazies...

---messing around with computer stuff

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