Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales Page #3

Lead them to Jack

before he finds the trident.

And all your treasure

will come back to you.

Time to make a deal

with the dead.

Come on, pirate.

Hold on, stop.

- Uncle Jack!

- Jackie boy, how is it going?

Can't complain really. You?

I've been waiting all morning in here,

for a beating.

- But the service is terrible.

- Shameful.

Jack.

The oceans have turned to blood.

Best to stay on dry land,

where it's safe.

I'm about to be executed on dry land.

Good point.

Did I ever told you about the skeleton?

Yes you have, many times.

Skeleton goes into a

bar, orders a beer.

And a mop.

Funny as ever.

Come on let's go!

If they disembowel you, ask for Viktor.

He's got the softest hands.

Thank you.

And mention my name,

they won't cut your feet off.

Come on.

You're first!

And how would you like to die pirate?

Hanging, firing squad or

a new invention.

- The guillotine.

- Guillotine?

Sounds french.

I love the French.

Did you know they've

invented mayonnaise?

How bad could it be?

It's French, right?

Oh, my bad!

I change mi mind..

No please have mercy for me.

I am a bet wetter.

Oh, come on!

I mean I have to walk upstairs

as well for this?

- Bring the basket.

- Basket.. why?

Step him down!

Here's an idea.

Why don't we try good old fashioned stoning?

I'd kill to be stoned right now.

Gets the crowd involved, doesn't it?

I should like to speak to Victor

in disembowelment.

I should like to speak to Vic.

I'm not the one who, complain normally,

but this basket is full of heads.

Final words of Carina Smyth. Shut up!

The final words of Carina Smyth.

It says.

I'm not a witch.

But I forgive your common dim

witlessness and feeble brains.

In short,

most of you have the mind of a goat.

Pardon me sir.

It's not common practice...

for those about to be executed.

To be granted a last,

I don't know, some of a..?

I believe I was making a point.

If you could just be patient.

No.

My head's about to be lopped off.

Hence the urgency.

And my neck is to be broken.

Did you know that on occasion,

the neck doesn't actually break.

- It just hurts.

- What?

Oh Yes.

I have seen men swing for hours.

Eyes bulging, tongues swelling.

- Revolting gurgling sound.

- May I finish?

No. You're lucky.

Wish I was hung.

- Kill the filthy pirate, I'll wait..

- The witch is first.

I'm not a witch.

Did not you listen?

Quite hard to listen

when you have the mind of a goat.

Enough! Kill them both.

Yes!

Guess another news.

Did you think you could defeat us boy?

No sir, I'm just a diversion.

Fire!

I still rather be stoned.

Reload!

Thank you.

Come here. You Pirate Scum!

Hey!

What do you do?

No, no, no, no!

Horses?

- Thank you.

- You're welcome Mi lady.

Got you!

Who you'd come

tolling back traitor?

The Turner boy gave us..

10 pieces of silver to save your neck.

From this moment on

we're to be allies.

Considering where your left hand is.

- I'd say we're more than that.

- We'd find the Trident together.

Do I have your word?

You're holding everything but my word.

Then I bestow upon you

the honor of saving me.

For a small donation.

You expect us to pay you to save you?

Yes!

For a mere 10 pieces.

Madness!

- We won't more than 5.

- Well, then.

8 it is.

Perhaps we could discuss this later.

As I am having trouble

here wasting your...

- That is my stern.

- Are you sure?

- Positive.

- Well, look at this.

If I kill the coward. The witch hangs.

- Two for the price of one.

- Please don't let go of me.

It might be difficult once he kills me.

Gentlemen, these two

prisoners will lead us,

to the trident.

Captain. Do you really think

we can find the trident?

Master Gibbs, you're worrywart.

There is nothing to be concerned about.

- What could possibly go wrong, right?

- So this was your plan?

To be tortured and killed by pirates?

You said you needed a ship.

- You call this a ship?

- Cut the string!

Prepare them.

My dear beloved crew. Finally...

Today is..

DYING GULL.

Something's gone wrong.

She floats!

Ship dead ahead.

Sir.

We would never

question your reason as a captain.

But, however..

Is there a reason as captain,

you've chosen..

To sail in this unreasonable direction?

Tell the men to prepare to be boarded.

To stand their ground.

And show no fear.

Capitan! A ship sails towards us.

Captain Salazar. I hear you've

been looking for Jack Sparrow.

Hold point!

And await orders.

My name is Captain Barbarossa.

And I stand before you,

- with cordial intent.

- I don't need any cordial intent.

Do you hear that?

This pirate wishes to be cordial.

So let me show you

what my cordiality is.

Every time I tap my sword.

One of your men will die,

So I suggest you speak quickly.

Might want to go a bit faster Captain.

- Where is Jack Sparrow?

- Jack be sailing for the trident.

- No. The sea belongs to the dead.

- The Trident controls the seas.

No, no. There is no treasure.

There is no treasure.

I can't save him.

He'll die with you.

I be the only one

that can lead you to him.

I declare you should have

Jack's life by sunrise tomorrow.

Or you can take me on then.

Do we have an accord?

Tail me to him.

And you will live to tell the tale.

You have my word.

I thank you on behalf of my crew.

Okay. You can take what's left them.

The living come aboard.

Carina, we haven't got much time,

the dead are sailing straight for us.

- Is that so?

- Yes, I've spoken to them.

You spoken to them?

Have you spoken to the Krakens

and the mermaids as well?

Krakens don't speak,

everyone knows that.

Of course, I never

should have saved you.

Last night there was a blood moon,

just as you described.

Tell me what to reveal.

And why should I trust you?

You trusted me to hold your porch,

remember?

It was my stern.

Clearly you need to spend

more time at sea.

Tell me what you found

and I promise to help you.

I don't need any help.

Then why did come to me Carina?

Why are we together

in the middle of the sea..

Chasing the same treasure?

The moon revealed a clue..

To release the power of the sea.

- One must divide.

- Divide?

- What does it mean?

- I'm not sure yet.

Then we'll find out.

- There is no map in this map.

- Give me my diary.

Give me the map no man can read.

If you could read it.

Then it wouldn't be call the map

that no man can read.

I beg you please,

don't argue with her.

Most of the men on

this ship can't read.

Which makes all maps.

Maps that no man can read.

Well if you can't read it,

then you've no use for it, or me.

Let me start again.

Show me the map.

I can't. It does not even exist.

- She's a witch!

- I'm an astronomer.

- She breeds donkeys.

- What? No.

- An astronomer contemplates the sky.

- Yay, on a donkey.

- No, there's no donkey!

- Well then how do you breed then?

Allows me to simplify this equation.

Give me the map.

Or I'll kill.. him, or kill him.

Go on then. You're bluffing.

And you're blushing.

Throw him over.

We call this keel hauling.

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