Pittsburgh Page #2

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- Figure it up, Shorty.

With pleasure.

What're you gonna

use for money?

I don't know. Used to call you Cash

because you always had some.

But lately you've put me

in some very embarrassing positions.

I wonder how much it would take

to make him careless?

One suit at the special price of $18. There's

buckram, there's piping, there's lining.

- And accessories brings it

up to $33.50. - Fine. Have a drink.

Oh, thank you, thank you.

- Expensive stuff.

- What's money?

Sure. Don't mean a thing.

Thanks all the same, but I don't drink.

Now, what were you saying about money?

- About these duds, put 'em on the cuff, will ya?

- Cuff? Whose cuff?

- Your cuff, Shorty.

- My cuff?

Play along with me, and one day

I'll let you make me custom-made suits.

Never mind that. The custom today is cash.

You're not gonna swing any pickaxe in my suit.

- Take it off or I'll call the police.

- Wait a minute.

Come back with my suit!

I told you, positively no credit.

You didn't even

give me a deposit.

You got nothin' to worry about, Shorty.

Look at that sign.

"A hundred dollars in gold to any man

who can stay three minutes in the ring...

with the heavyweight champion,

Killer Kane. "

It's an invitation to your own funeral.

I sold the Killer a suit.

He's got a 48-inch chest,

a 23-inch arm...

- and a 19 neck.

- And a six-inch skull.

- You'll do no fightin' in my suit.

- Come on, Cash.

- Suppose he flattens you?

- He won't flatten me.

- Not in my suit!

- Nothin's gonna happen to your suit.

My suit!

Look at my suit!

- For a lead nickel, I'd smash your teeth in!

- Is anything wrong?

Plenty!

I oughta pull-

Oh, you got

your suit muddy.

His suit? My suit! He walks outta my shop

with a brand-new suit.

Then he wants to fight Killer Kane

in my suit. Now look at it!

- He didn't even gimme a deposit!

- Quiet, Shorty.

- It's nothing, Countess, nothing at all.

- I'm so very sorry.

- It's awful, awful!

- It's awful nice.

Good evening. Mr. Brawley's

down front, right aisle.

Thank you.

How about your date with

the long-legged gal with the Model "T"?

I like this chassis better.

Tickets, please.

- Uh, Shorty, you forgot to buy the tickets.

- I forgot to buy the tickets.

Three tickets, and I'm not

gonna like the show.

- Your coat.

- My suit! I'll be right back.

Hey, down in front.

Sit down, will ya?

Find someplace. I wanna see the show.

- Where's your collar?

- I got it right here.

Put your neck

in it. Here.

Hey, down in front.

Will you park your body? The clinch is on.

There ya are. The cost of the tickets

brings it up to $35 even.

- He don't look so tough.

- I'm glad that's not my head he's punching.

Ladies and gentlemen, you've just witnessed

a masterful exhibition of bag punching...

by the undefeated marvel

of the prize ring...

and contender of the world's

heavyweight championship, Killer Kane!

And now, gentlemen, one hundred dollars

for the man who'll remain on his feet...

- after three minutes of boxing

with Killer Kane. - Bring 'im on!

He wants a fight, does he?

I'll fight him for nothing!

- Come on!

- Oh, no, you don't, mister. You're plastered! Sit down.

Who'll be the first to challenge the Killer

to one round of exhibition boxing?

- I'm callin' you, Butch.

- Come on, sucker.

Come on. A fella needs

a second, doesn't he?

- We'll fix his-

- Come on, sit down!

- Please, boys, don't fight in my suit.

- Hello, Countess.

- Who is the challenger?

- Not me!

Coal miners, eh?

What's the matter

with coal miners?

We carried four of 'em out

this afternoon.

Yeah, well, here's one you aren't gonna

carry out. Cash Evans. That right, boys?

You dirty double-crosser!

- What's the matter, you afraid of him?

- Afraid? Why, I'll knock...

that big palooka

right in the countess' lap!

Sit tight, Countess.

- That palooka's gonna land

in your lap. - Aren't you fighting?

Me? I've been changing

a lot of my plans this evening.

- Friend of yours?

- No.

I'm gonna change that too.

Who is he?

Nobody. He seems awfully sure

of himself, doesn't he?

Who do you want us to notify

in case you're killed?

- What if that coal slinger throws a lucky punch?

- He better not.

I spent a lot of dough

building up that big baboon.

You're looking at the next title-holder,

baby- Champion Killer Kane.

And when that happens,

you're gonna have everything.

You already told me

I had everything.

Let's have a good fight

and don't dawdle.

Shake hands and go to your corner

and come out punching.

- Watch yourself. This guy's dynamite.

- You just think of that?

Keep that left goin' Cash!

Attaboy!

That's it! Stick your left out!

You know what it means to me!

Let him have it!

What're ya backin' up for?

A right! Hit him with

a right! He's a big phony!

Wise guy, eh?

- If that dummy loses this fight, I'll-

- Lose a hundred dollars.

Keep it up, Cash.

Two minutes to go.

- One, two, three...

- How'm I doin'?

- Not so hot. He just slipped.

- four, five, six-

That's it! Go ahead!

You got him goin', Cash!

He's groggy! What's holding him up?

Keep that left goin'!

That's it, use the other hand!

Your right, your right!

In the breadbasket!

Keep it up,

the suit's almost mine!

Duck that light, Cash!

- Go on, get up!

- Get up! Get up!

- Get up, Cash! He didn't hurt ya!... two, three, four...

- Come on, take him!

- five.

Gimme that dough!

Come on, Cash,

here's your dough!

Get the cops! Police!

There's your boyfriend, Countess!

Nice company you keep, Countess.

It's me, it's me.

Congratulations, you won.

- Here you are, Shorty. Forty bucks and keep the tip.

- Thank you, thank you.

It's a pleasure to do business

with honest men.

I'm glad you officers arrived.

It's terrible inside.

- Some boisterous characters started a fight in there.

- Oh, they did? Come on, boys.

Musical little things, aren't they?

They're gonna do a Charleston

right down Barney's Bar.

Heh-heh, I love ya, Cash.

So help me, Hannah, I love ya.

- Now, if we can only find the countess.

- Yeah, she's so sympathetic.

- What's the dope?

- Big cave-in at Eversville, Tunnel 5.

- You hear that? Tunnel 5.

- Holy smokes, that's right under Doc's house.

Hey, buddy, run us out to Eversville-

There's no one here.

It's the countess' car.

Let's take it. Come on.

- What's the big idea?

- Uh-oh, the countess.

- You'll get in plenty of trouble stealing this car.

- Oh, cool off, Countess.

There's a cave-in at the mine.

Look out!

- Where do you think you're goin'?

- Get outta the way, O'Toole.

- We've got to find Doc Powers.

- Sure. Go ahead, Pitt.

Dr. Grazlich! Doc, I'm glad you're all right.

Where's Doc Powers?

- His house didn't cave in? - No, the cave-in

was underground. Caught some of the night shift.

- But where is Doc?

- Down there someplace.

- Hold that cage!

- Hey, Doc's trapped in Number 5.

We were on our way up when the whole

wall caved in. We need more help.

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