Planes Page #2

When he's speeding, he's leading.

Get my good side, fellas.

When he's grinning, he's winning.

The one and only

- Ripslinger!

- (CROWD CHEERING)

You're caught in the riptide!

(CHUCKLES)

- Thanks for coming out.

- (DOTTIE COUGHING)

Who wants a picture?

All right, one at a time.

Well, with all that self-promotion,

at least he's modest.

Dottie, that's Ripslinger.

He's captain of Team RPX.

They call him...

BOTH:
The Green Tornado.

Oh, he's so good, he's pre-qualified.

Oh. And those two, Ned and Zed.

BOTH:
The Twin Turbos.

They're world-class racers.

You know, I hear they used to be

one plane and were separated at birth.

Wow. I wish I was separated at birth.

Okay, people.

This is the last of four time trials

being held worldwide.

Today's qualifying round

is one lap around the pylons.

The top five finishers will qualify

for the Wings Around the Globe Rally.

Oh, yeah.

Fonzarelli, you're up, my man.

(SPITS)

Oh, man! That's nasty.

And he's through the start gate!

The racers must pass through

the blue pylons on the horizontal

and around the red pylons

on the knife-edge.

Now he's coming back to Gate Three!

Nicely done, my man.

Setting himself up a little high

through the blue pylons there,

lining up for the quadro.

He's taking a hard right with a

270-degree high-G turn! Yeah!

Back all the way around. Whoo!

- Cleanly through. Ha! Look at you, man!

- That guy's good.

It doesn't get much better than that.

All right. Good speed.

Lining up for the three-pylon chicane,

amazing pitch control.

Smooth! Fast! Clean!

He's going into the final turn,

into the half-Cuban 8,

pulling an aggressive 9.2 Gs.

Attacking the climb!

Wow. Now that's some speed.

Coming out of the Cuban 8 at

the end of a fantastic first run, people.

A 01.24. 16.

A very good time for

the other racers to try and beat.

Fast, tight through the pylons.

He's got a great pace going, here.

Hes just a half a second behind.

- Oh! Engine failure!

- CROWD:
Oh!

Out of the race. Bye-bye.

Great performance.

Watch the clock here.

I can't wait. Lining up for the Blue Gate.

Oh, no, he did not!

That's a major penalty.

- Sorry, dude. Eighth place.

- (GROANS)

Talk about fast.

Coming out the Cuban 8.

Fueled and ready, man.

Okay, bud, you're up.

Good and tight.

- All set.

- It's been a wonderful day here,

and we're down to our last competitor.

This is it.

From Propwash Junction,

Strut Jetstream.

"Strut Jetstream"?

Yep. Awesomest call sign ever.

(CHUCKLES) It was my idea.

- Ah. That explains it.

- Hey, ag-plane!

Landscaping was yesterday, man.

Get off the runway. We're racing, here.

- Second call for Strut Jetstream.

- No, no, no!

- Looking for...

- Yo! I'm Strut Jetstream.

- You are Strut Jetstream?

- Yep.

A crop duster?

Man, what's going on here?

Is everybody getting to fly today?

Man, your momma must have

had high hopes for you.

Now, you know you are

built for seed, not speed.

You have got to be kidding me.

- That farmer's going to race?

- (LAUGHS)

Seriously, with a prop that small?

Maybe he races that leaky,

old fuel truck next to him.

Who are you calling leaky?

I'll leak on you,

if you don't check your intake.

Don't lower yourself to their level.

Go on Dus...

Go on, Strut.

- (PLANES LAUGHING)

- PLANE 1:
Who's that guy?

- You're going to try out?

- PLANE 2:
A crop duster?

FORKLIFT:
Cornfield is over that way.

Nice of you to take the day off

just to lose!

(ALL LAUGHING)

Go, Duster!

It's going to be a tall order for him

to knock Fonzarelli out of fifth place.

And he's off!

Well, he's starting a little conservative.

This ought to be rich.

193 miles per hour.

He's into Gate Two,

clean through the horizontal.

What?

He's practically mowing the lawn.

Come to my house, man.

Okay. At the first split,

he's a full second behind Fonzarelli.

Yo, that's a lot of time to make up,

but this guy's aggressive.

Now he's making that hard

270-degree high-G turn!

Whoo! That's it!

Setting himself up. Left vertical turn.

Lining up for the three-pylon chicane.

He's gaining speed.

Now, he's only half a second

behind Fonzarelli.

And he is closing rapidly.

Now he's back on that stick.

Up he goes! Up and away!

Now only two-tenths of

a second behind Fonzarelli!

- Come on, Duster!

- Oh, it's going to be close.

He's going to do it. He's going to do it.

Oh, yes! What a finish!

Now, that's what you call flying!

Way to go, Dustmeister.

That's what I'm talking about.

Jetstream, the official time is

1 minute, 24.26 seconds.

Sixth place,

but what a close one, people.

Well, folks, that wraps up the trials

for the Wings Around the Globe Rally.

Hey, pal, sixth place

ain't nothing to be ashamed of.

That was a heck of a run.

Thanks.

ROPER:

Ow! Dagnabbit! Let me drive!

There you go, topped off

and all set, Mayday.

Will you stop! Unbelievable!

Why don't you just go back!

I mean, I think you actually

missed a pothole!

Man, you got to be the worst,

I mean the worst delivery truck

that has ever delivered a delivery!

- Can I help you?

- (COUGHING)

Please tell me

this is Propwash Junction.

Sure is.

Oh, finally. You know,

you're not even on the map.

Yeah, pretty drive though, ain't it?

Oh, yeah. Especially if you

like looking at dirt and corn.

Anyway,

I'm looking for a Strut Jetstream.

- Who?

- Jetstream. Strut Jetstream.

Nope, doesn't ring a bell.

Do you have a photo?

Yeah, I got one right here.

No, I don't have a photo!

I have documentation that says

Strut Jetstream

lives in Propwash Junction.

Oh, whoa, whoa! Whoa,

wait a minute! Okay! Oh...

No, gosh I...

Hey, I'm Strut Jetstream.

Yeah! That's right!

(LAUGHS)

I knew I'd remember.

There he is, strutting on over here.

But you're mispronouncing it slightly.

- I am?

- Mmm-hmm. Yeah.

It's actually pronounced

"Dusty Crophopper."

Dusty Crophopper.

Yeah. It's Scandinavian.

Right, and I'm Egyptian.

(SNIFFS) Googly moogly!

What is that smell?

- It's Vita-minamulch.

- Vita-mina-what?

The finest-smelling compost

this side of the Mississippi.

Original, creamy and chunky style.

(SNIFFS) Oh, yeah.

Smell that? It's like daffodils

and like Sunday dinner.

I just love it. I love it.

I got some minamulch, yeah!

I got some minamulch, yeah!

That old airplane needs some help.

Y'all know that, right?

BOTH:
Yeah.

Are you familiar with

the racing fuel additive, nitro methane?

Oh, yeah! Zip juice! Go-go punch!

That stuff will blur your vision

and slur your speech.

- It's illegal.

- Totally illegal.

Wouldn't know what it looks like.

Yeah, you were saying?

That substance was found in the tank

of the fifth-place qualifier, Fonzarelli.

Illegal fuel intake is an automatic DQ.

(STAMMERS)

Wait, so you're saying...

He's out, you're in. Congratulations.

- You're in?

- Hmm.

He's in!

(WHISTLES)

You're never going to believe this.

He's in!

Dusty's in the race! Dottie, he's in!

What? Are you serious?

Whoo! Dusty.

DOTTIE:
Don't do anything crazy.

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