Planet Terror Page #5

I'm sorry?

Ava Gardner.

Do you like her?

Yeah, I guess.

I was just thinking that you, uh...

kind of look like Ava Gardner

a little bit.

You got something

you want to say to me?

I have nothing to say to you.

You got nothing to say, huh?

That's funny.

'Cause I could've swore you just

gave me a "f*** you" look right now.

You want to say "f*** you" to me?

Not at this moment.

You know what this is?

A gun.

It's simplicity itself.

You see, you point it

at what you want to die...

and you pull the little trigger here...

and a little bullet comes out of here.

And the little bullet

hits you right there.

And you know what?

You don't look like

Ava Gardner no more.

Don't taunt me, tramp.

I am not one to be taunted.

You got it?

Let me here you say, "l got it."

I got it.

You damn well better.

Tool.

God damn it, that's it.

I figured it out.

Salt.

Got it all figured out. It's salt.

Blood is salty.

That's all my sauce needed,

was just a little more salt.

It just needed a little thickening agent.

You know what I'm talkin' about?

What are you doing, J.T.?

That's all I gotta do,

is put a little more salt in.

It'd just do the same goddamn thing

that the blood did.

I tell you what, brother,

that little bit of blood did the trick.

Don't do nothin' stuppid, J.T.

I got it covered.

It's already got my sweat, it's got my tears.

Now all it needs is some blood!

- Dropp the gun!

- J.T.!

- Do it now!

- Okay, okay!

Don't shoot!

J.T., you all right?

Uhh!

Hey, you all right, bro?

God damn it,

I'm not all right at all, brother.

Not at all.

Wait here.

Oh...I sure will.

Goddamn sauce.

"Women in Cages".

See them in action.

See them in love.

See them in terror.

White skin on the black market.

Soft flesh for hard cash.

"Women in Cages. "

I'm gonna go get my dick wet.

She's got one leg.

Easier access.

You got a point.

Get the rest of this sh*t uppstairs

and we'll blow this entire floor.

Yes, sir.

Get Lewis down here.

He's getting his dick wet, sir.

Get him the f*** down here now!

Lewis?

Wilson?

Where are my men?

I've got several right here.

What the f***'s this?

Their balls, sweetheart.

I'm walking out of here

with this sh*t, Wray.

- Let us go.

- Tell me why we should.

Because I earned it.

How do you figure that?

You want the story?

I'll spin it for you quick.

A termite's nest of caves

on the Afghan border,

me and my men walking around

with our d*cks in our hands

and our balls in our throats,

lookin' for America's most wanted.

- Bin Laden.

- Yeah.

For once, our intel

was right on the money.

I come around a corner--

bam, there he is,

lookin' me right in the eyes.

Wait.

You killed bin Laden?

I put ttwo in his heart,

one in his compputer.

So that was you.

Yeah.

That was me.

Class-A clusterfuck.

He wasn't supposed to be there,

we weren't supposed to be there,

and I sure as f*** wasn't supposed to be

the one to punch his dialysis ticket.

So, instead of a chest full of medals,

we get a face full of DC-2.

No cure.

That is, not until we found

somebody from the other side

willing to sell us batches of this sh*t.

Science comes first, but business

comes a close f***ing second.

Then you realized if you could

infect a large enough populace,

the experiment and its survivors,

you'd find a cure.

I swore to my men

that I'd do everything in my power

to keepp them alive.

And that's what I intend to do, Wray.

Understand?

I never had a choice.

Neither do l, sir.

God bless you

and your service to this country.

You're a doctor?

Heh.

I was earlier tonight.

I always wanted to be a doctor.

Instead, I can do...

this.

Ohh. Useless talent number 66.

I'm very pliable.

A girlfriend of mine

had a theory.

She said at some point in your life,

you find a use for every useless talent

you ever had.

It's like, uh, connecting the dots.

I'm not that optimistic.

I feel like I'm sinking down the drain

and I can't get out.

She'd say...

when you're stuck in that spiral...

you reach up.

What if there's nothing up there?

Just reach up.

You're a dancer.

I was earlier tonight.

Well, I'm pulling you out of retirement!

Get your ass up!

Now, I'm starved for entertainment, baby,

and that means you.

Radio!

Wail, baby, now!

' to a pay...

That's--

That's what I'm talkin' about.

Dance it up.

Keep dancing!

'Cause now. I'm jaded...

I have seen me

some crazy ass sh*t in my day...

but ain't never seen me

a one-legged stripper.

I have seen me a stripper

with one breast,

and I've seen me a stripper

with 12 toes,

and I've seen me a stripper

with no brains at all,

but I ain't never seen me

a one-legged stripper.

And I've been to Morocco.

Dance, b*tch!

Break a leg!

Break it off! Ha ha!

Dance for me, motherf***er.

- Uhh!

- Aaaaah!

Aah!

Ohhhh!

You thought it was pretty funny,

didn't you?

Actually, yes.

You gave me some wood,

now I'm gonna give you...

some f***in' wood!

Alh--ah!

Alhh!

The gas! You need your gas!

No! F*** the gas, f*** it.

I'm just gonna have to make this quick.

Aah!

Uhh!

Where'd you get that?

Useless talent number 37.

Aaaaah!

Uhh! Uhh!

I broke my leg.

That's okay.

I made you something.

I do believe in you.

Always have.

I believe that you could be better.

You deserve better,

even better than me.

Right now,

I need you to become...

who you're meant to be.

Stand.

I'd stand clear if I were you.

Oppen that door, will you, baby?

Uhh!

They've destroyed most of the tanks.

Any that are left

we'll get on our way to the helicoppters.

There are two helicopters,

big enough to take all of us.

Who can fly?

Can anyone else fly a helicopter?

I can fly, but...

no way in hell I'm gonna fly tonight.

Okay. Cool.

I'll fly.

Let's go.

I think we're gonna stay here, Wray.

You'll take care of this for me,

then, Sheriff?

With pleasure.

Three minutes.

Your brother's a good man, J.T.

Best in Texas.

Hop on.

No, the other way.

Oh.

No. The other way.

The helicopters are

on the other side of this wall.

We make a run for it!

No! If we all get killed,

there's no stopping this plague.

Don't you get it?

We're the antidote.

Well, is there another way around?

Wait here.

I don't suppose there are any other

biochemical engineers around? Heh.

Take that as a no.

We have to get over that wall!

I was thinkin' we could build us

a new place,

right there where the old one was.

You cook,

I work the back.

You don't make that rent

so goddamn high.

We share the recippe,

we share the rent.

Start at 250 degrees.

I knew it.

For how long?

- 12 pounds?

- Sure.

Wrapped in tin foil, right?

I don't use no goddamn foil.

Damn.

Tomatoes? Fresh?

Canned.

- No sh*t?

- Yeah.

You score me some?

Oh, yeah.

'Cause we're brothers.

Thank you for this.

You just remember...

you got to take this recipe

to your grave.

I think I can...

goddamn guarantee that.

That's our cue.

Cherry, darling...

it's all you.

Let's go!

Aah!

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes