Play It to the Bone Page #5

in Baker, California,

halfway between Death Valleyand Las Vegas, right?

It's as good a place as any !

- Right.- I believe you.

- She believes me !- Well, she's a girl !

- I'm a woman !- She's a woman !

You know-- You know what?You have to carry a video camera...

- to record these sightings, you know?- Hey !

It's not a f***in' U.F.O. !It's the Son of God !

Besides, if you're Spanish-Mexican,then you gotta be Catholic.

And if you're Catholic, then you gottabelieve in the Virgin of Guadalupe,

who appeared 500 years ago,not 2,000 miles from this very spot !

I'm a atheist !Thank God !

- No sh*t.- No sh*t ! So give me a break.

- Oh, I'll give you a f***in' break.- Vince. Hey, Vince !

- Hey !- I'll break your f***in' nose.

- What is that finger ?What'd that finger mean?- Guys !

- What the--- Tell me ! Huh?

Hey ! All right !That's it, for f***'s sake.

Save it for Vegas.You got a title shot and 50 grand !

What are you thinking?Five hours you gotta wait !

Yeah. $50,000, man.

- That's a lot of money.- Yeah.

The title shot.The title shot. The title shot.

I can waita couple of hours.

-Just don't tell me I don't see Jesuswhen I see Jesus.- All right.

- All right.- And who cares if he saw Jesus?

- And who caresif he sucked some dick?- Hey, I didn't suck no dick!

I don't want any details.Okay? No details !

Shake hands.

I said shake hands,for Christ's sake !

Goddamn it !

Now let's eat some waffles !

Uh, it's rejected.

- What?- Your credit card.Do you have another one?

No. I paid my bills.Just run it through again.

I run it through three times.It's dead.

- It's good.- It's bad.

- Are you saying I don't pay my bills?- I'm calling the owner.

The Mad Greek?Fine. Call him !

- But just don't saythat I don't pay my bills !- It's not a lot of money.

- Why don't you just pay cash for it?- Because I don't have any cash.

I thought I'd get cashin Vegas. Guys !

- Pay the check.- We left in such a hurry--

You don't have any money?

- We need gas !- Well, I guess you guys...

are in a little bit of troublethen, ain't ya? Huh?

- I'll write a check. It's fine.- No checks.

- I'm callin' the cops.-

I'll pay the bill.

I need a ride to Vegas.I'll pay for the gas.

Just leave the top downso I can get some sun.

Anybody got any coke?I could use some blow.

No cokeheads in this car.Just former cokeheads.

- "Former."- Aw, come on. You got any weed?

No, no, no.

You guys are squares.

Anybody wanna f***?

- Honey,just relax.- I just wanna have a little fun.

Just relax.

Ooh, hey.Check it out.

Little Miss Asia.What do you think?

- Muy calientita.- Muy calientita.

Whatever.You know what?

I love black hair,black eyes.

Ohh. Mm. I think that's why thingsdidn't work out between me and Grace.

Aside from the fact that she dumped me,you know, she doesn't have dark hair.

It makes mea f***in' lunatic, ya know?

Black hair. Just see thosewhite panties come slidin' down.

There's that jet-black bushsayin', "Hi, there."

Hola. Hola.

Well, personally,I don't care what color it is.

I gotta have her.

Well, maybe after the fightyou guys can hook up.

No, no, no, no, no.Now.

- Now?- Now.

We fight in-- Grace,how long till the fight?

- Uh, about five hours.- Five hours, man.

I'm not talkin'about a quickie here.

I thought we were not supposedto get laid for a coupleof weeks before a fight.

- Says who?- Everybody knows that.You know, it's an energy thing.

All of the great onesgot laid before they fought.

I mean, the more,the better, man.

- You never told me that.- Yeah, well, I thought you knew, man.

The words go together:champion and p*ssy. Champion, p*ssy.

- Think about it. It's a natural.- Oh,Jesus Christ.

- Hey, hey, please.- Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry about that.

Anyway, I gotta hammer this chick.And obviously she ain't picky.

You know what? If you'regetting laid, I'm getting laid.

- What?- Yeah.

Look. This ain't like waffes:Just 'cause I do it, you gotta do it.

What? I-I don't want you to haveany kind of advantage tonight. Any.

Well, good luck, okay, because Grace haschecked out on you. She's feelin' it.

- Maybe not. Maybe not.- Maybe so. Maybe so.

- Maybe. We'll see.- Yeah. We'll see.- Yeah.

Hey, uh, so--wh-what's your name again?

- Lia.- Oh, Lia.

That-- That's beautiful.Hey, uh, Lia,

I couldn't help butnotice your outfit.

- It's--- Oh, thanks. I made that skirt myself.

- Really? Can I-- Let me just touch--- Uh-huh.

- Oh, that's nice. Wow.-

- Any word on the undercard guys?- Nothin'.

- Tyson?- He's at home. Just spoke to him.He's ready to go.

- And Rustikov?- He's scared to death.

Who's my datefor the fight tonight, Rudy?I can't keep track of these things.

Your wife.

- My wife?- Yeah. There's a lotof cameras there tonight.

I figured your wifewould be a good call.

My wife?You're right.

Good call.

I used to have the 1970426 HemiCuda, the Pink Panther ?

I got itmy first divorce.

Ah. Smells like freedom. Then I tradedit straight up for a GTO Ram Air Three.

You don't come across thosevery often.

Who'd have thought the Oldsmobilewould come up with a muscle car ?

It's unbelievable.

Listen to this.

That's beautiful.

I don'ttrust a quiet car.

Oh, I am so hungryfor you, man.

You're "so hungry for" me, "man" ?What is that supposed to mean?

It means that I want you,to make love...

and-and sex, you know?

- Now.- Go get me a quart of 30-weight.

- What?- Thirty-weight motor oil. Over there.

Yeah.

"I'm hungry for you, man" ? That ain'tgonna make too many women hot.

Goddamn it.Can we have a final moment?

- "A final moment" ?- Yeah. A final screw, a farewell f***?

- No.- Why not?

- I'm not interested.- A hand job? A blow job?

A chicka-chicka-chicka-boom-boom?

Cesar, it was a nicethree months together.

Six. It was six months, honey.

But only threewere nice.

I mean, somebody tell mewhy that-- that Christian...

is getting laid,and a heathen like me is not?

- He's gettin' laid?- Grace. Grace.

You know what?You are too quick for me.

I am completely off-balance now.Why didn't you leave me tomorrow?

And I'm angry,and I'm confused now.

You fight betterconfused.

Oh,Jesus, he's my saviorOh,Jesus

-Yes, I love him.

- Where you going?- No, no, no. I gotta-- I can't.

I got-- I got--I gotta save something for tonight.

No, no, no, no.Come back here and take care of me.

No, no. It's not-- nothing personal.It's just I got-- I gotta get to Vegas.

It ain't a manly thing.It's nothin' to do with m-manly.

- Just--- Hey, you lovebirds !

- What?- We gotta hit the road.

Five more minutes, baby.

- See?- Come on, baby. Please?

- Oh-- Okay. Five minutes.- Three.

Okay. Okay.All right.

- Let's take care of you.- Mm, yeah.

Ooh. Right there. Uh-huh.

Ohh. Oh, yeah.That's good.

- Mmm.- Ahh. Ooh. Keep going.

So where you from?Vietnam, China, Korea?

- Oh, no. From Monterey Park.- Oh? What high school ?

Alhambra High till I dropped out.

- Alhambra High? What?You know Rob Moran? Clem Franny?-

Oh, yeah. Clem.He was a senior when I was a freshman.

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