Player Page #4

worthwhile than traveling the world -

- teaching strangers to swim?

Talking them into using their entire

life's savings on a dumb poker game!

You seriously believe there's a future

in bumming around like a bimbo?

I only talked to you because Theo

told me to take the hand grenade.

- The cockadoodleblocker!

- Just the cockblocker.

Sille, let's go.

- Sille?! You don't have to go.

- I have to take care of this.

Sille, we've got a thing going on,

the three of us.

Me, Fanny and you.

Wait up, Louise.

Thanks for sh*t-all.

- What the f*** are you doing?

- It's just an ugly old briefcase.

- It was a graduating gift from my dad.

- Two years after the fact. By mail.

Your dad never saw you

because he loved his work more.

Damn, Melge!

Sorry.

I'm sorry too.

Let's shake Herlufsholm style.

- So, did you nail Louise?

- No.

You don't drink, don't f***.

Are you even alive?

You think I should live on a boat

and snort cocaine like you?

I strongly dissuade you

from the latter.

- You don't get tired of it.

- So it's good you're going to rehab.

- Only the timing's a bit

- F***ed.

It's a bit f***ed.

- Why didn't you nail her?

- I don't want to cheat on Lydia

- Hey, you nailed Marianne.

- Again.

- Anyway, it's a stupid gamble.

- So you did the math?

I compared my relationship to Lydia

to utterly meaningless sex.

Meaningless sex.

There's no such thing.

It turned out 80-85% in Lydia's favor.

- Louise's odds were just too bad.

- Odds?

A lawyer needs to keep a cool head.

- What?

- I've got an idea.

I want to keep my son, and you want

to do jigsaws with the boss' daughter.

You're gonna take my place

at the game. It's our only way out.

Let's do it!

The game is called

No Limits Texas Hold'em.

Hold'em for short.

- Two kings is good, isn't it?

- Don't show me.

I'm gonna smurf slap you

for every dumb move.

- Now for the flop.

- Not very motivating.

It's called the op.

And now for the turn card.

- Bet again.

- The five of spades clears the table.

Bonjour. Mademoiselle...

Everyone's got a tell. They do

something when they're insecure.

Inexperienced gamblers

hold their breath when they bluff.

People with a strong hand look at their

chips to see how much they can bet.

You can provoke their insecurity

by saying something to rattle them.

- Fold.

- Be aggressive.

- I hate that smurf!

- You've folded 14 times straight.

If you keep folding, they'll know

you've got zilch. You have to pretend.

- I'm no good at lying.

- It's not lying, it's bluffing.

From the top.

- You'll know I'm bluffing now.

- Let's just do it one more time.

- What?

- You look epileptic when you bluff.

- Who says I'm bluffing?

- Your eyes do.

Every muscle in your face does.

- What's up with this?

- This game was your idea.

I never saw anything like it.

What the hell is that?

We need someone on the oor.

Someone to feed you

tricks and pointers.

- No.

- But why?

- I said I won't do it.

- But

No!

Get lost.

You talk to her.

Why don't we ask Sille?

Sille's got other talents.

Oh, so both Jerk 1

and Jerk 2 are here? Great.

I wouldn't ask

unless I really needed your help.

I'd like to apologize for what I said.

It was stupid of me.

It was offensive and bad form.

I said it because I was under pressure,

and I took it out on you.

And that wasn't fair at all.

You've only ever been nice to me.

No one ever offered

to teach me to swim before.

And you're not a cockblocker.

But I don't blame you.

It's okay.

- Well?

- No. Nothing doing.

You're kidding.

Hey, wait.

- I'll help you.

- Yes!

As long as it's not really lame.

It's not.

It's really simple.

Can you hide this mike

between your b*obs?

Theo.

- Hello, hello.

- Shove your face down her b*obs.

Closer.

- One, two, three, testing.

- Louder.

Sing something so I can tune it.

- You have to sing something.

- No way.

This is bordering on obscene behavior

in public, and that's an of fence.

I won't answer for the consequences.

And I haven't sung since school.

Just sing.

Listen.

I think we're ready for tomorrow.

So, high roller, ready?

F*** me!

F***, you look great.

- Nervous?

- A little or rather a whole lot.

You'll be okay.

I'm gonna be in your ear all the time.

You're a player now.

I'm proud of you.

Good old Melge's back.

I'm proud of you too

for going to rehab.

- You mean that?

- Yes.

No

Alright!

See you, Melge.

- You look great.

- Thanks. Let's go.

Mr. and Mrs. High Roller

don't drive a scooter.

No, we're gonna arrive in style.

I've got an idea.

- How did you get it started?

- I learnt a few tricks at Herlufsholm.

- Nervous?

- Not the slightest.

I just need to win 10 million.

- You always carry that around?

- Yes.

- It makes me feel safe.

- Like a teddy bear.

No, I need it to carry home

my 10 million.

This is so illegal. How do you

think they declare the money?

- I don't think

- It was a joke.

- I don't believe it.

- You'?

How can anyone be like you?

So immoral?

So utterly devoid of any moral?

How can anyone care so little

about other people?

Let's go.

- What the f*** are you doing?

- They hustled me! Bob and Marianne.

But do you want to be chucked out

for hitting your opponents?

You can still bow out.

It's not too late.

Oh no. I bought a seat at this table

just like you.

Only difference is

I paid for it myself.

Hello.

- Theo.

- F***, this is exciting!

- Marianne is facing him at the table.

- Marianne as in Bob and Marianne?

Tell him to raise her

every time he has a good hand.

He keeps folding.

I told him a hundred times

not to keep folding.

He's gotta raise and bluff

now and then.

Three have left the game.

Theo.

It's just him and Marianne now.

Great. But she's way ahead of him, so he

has to rattle her to stand a chance.

Please excuse my absentmindedness.

I was just remembering -

- our night together, Marianne.

You have a lovely wife, Bob.

I was just thinking I've slept

with your wife. As in had sex with.

All night long.

Wonderful sex

with your wife all night long.

Over and over and over

and one more time for good measure.

- Sorry, but we never f***ed.

- Oh yes, we did.

You got very, very drunk

and passed out on the bed.

What about my underwear

and the lipstick?

Bluff.

So I could've called the police?

And Lydia?

And Winther Schmidt?

But you didn't,

did you, Michael Helge?

- Michael Helge, wait.

- I've lost everything!

I'm so stupid.

I never do anything right!

- I'm so stupid!

- No, you're not.

I really like you.

But sometimes

I know what you mean.

Good.

Do what you're good at.

Think of the poker table

as a courtroom.

Keep a cool head.

Stay in control.

Yes.

- Are you ready to win 10 million?

- Yes.

Miss Moniepennie...

Louise?

Everyone's got a tell. Everyone does

something when they're insecure.

I don't do this every day.

Calm down, Bob.

You win on a sorry pair of five?

We won! We won!

Bob.

We're off.

Where's the briefcase?

Where's Bob and Marianne?

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