Pleasantville Page #3

JENNIFER:

Oh my God! He's here!

Jennifer sweeps some of the pieces frantically under the sofa

and tries to adjust her outfit on the way to the door. David

just stares in shock at the shattered plastic. Jennifer

reaches the front door and wets her lips. She fluffs her hair

quickly, sticks out her chest then swings it open.

DIFFERENT ANGLE. FRONT DOOR.

Jennifer steps forward with her sexiest smile, but it isn't

Mark Davis on the other side. DICK VAN DYKE STANDS ACROSS THE

THRESHOLD IN A TV REPAIRMAN'S OUTFIT. Jennifer looks at him

puzzled. He steps forward, flashing her a chipper grin,

toolbox in hand.

DICK VAN DYKE:

TV repair.

JENNIFER:

(beat)

TV repair?

DICK VAN DYKE:

Yeah. TV busted?

JENNIFER:

(pause ...)

Yeah ...

DICK VAN DYKE:

(smiling wider)

Well here I am.

REVERSE ANGLE. DAVID'S POV.

He glances out the front door toward a weird VAN parked at

the curb. It says TV REPAIR on the side but looks like

something from a medicine show. The antenna on top resembles

a weather vane and the mural beneath it depicts a happy

family from the 1950s, gathered around their TV set. Everyone

wears a smile, including the dog. The hand-painted motto

reads "Rob's TV Repair--WE'LL FIX YOU FOR GOOD."

INT. LIVING ROOM.

David looks back at Dick Van Dyke who smiles at him, then

crosses to the living room STEPPING NIMBLY AROUND THE

OTTOMAN. He heads toward the TV.

DICK VAN DYKE:

(seeing the smashed remote)

Holy cow. Look at that. Had a little

disaster didn't ya fella.

DAVID:

Yeah ... Sort of ...

DICK VAN DYKE:

(setting down the toolbox)

We'll get you fixed up in no time.

He pops the top of the tool box while Jennifer and David just

stare. It's a strange looking box with the same happy family

painted on the side. Dick Van Dyke pulls out another remote.

DICK VAN DYKE (CONT)

I know how I'd feel if mine went out.

Almost like losing a friend.

DAVID:

(tentatively)

You know, we didn't call any TV repair.

DICK VAN DYKE:

Well that makes it a lucky day for both

of us, hunh?

Jennifer shuts the door and crosses down toward the living

room.

JENNIFER:

You think you could do this like soon?

It's almost six thirty.

DICK VAN DYKE:

What's the rush?

DAVID:

(cutting her off)

The Pleasantville Marathon starts at six

thirty.

At that moment there is a huge FORK OF LIGHTNING and a

booming CLAP OF THUNDER. It literally rattles the walls of

the house as Dick Van Dyke turns toward David.

DICK VAN DYKE:

Pleasantville?

David recoils slightly. Dick Van Dyke flashes him a smile.

DICK VAN DYKE (CONT)

Gosh, I loved that show. Watched it for

years.

JENNIFER:

That's not the reason. I've got a date

at six thirty.

DICK VAN DYKE:

(ignoring her/

leaning closer to David)

Hey--who did Muff in take to the

masquerade ball when her date came down

with the measles?

DAVID:

(stunned)

... Her father.

DICK VAN DYKE:

Right. And how did she dress him?

DAVID:

(still staring)

... Like Prince Charming.

DICK VAN DYKE:

(studying David/

nodding)

Nice ... Nice ...

JENNIFER:

Um--hello? I've got like a social

emergency here.

DICK VAN DYKE:

(ignoring her)

Remember the one where Bud lost his

cousin when he was s'posed to be

watching him?

DAVID:

Yeah ...

DICK VAN DYKE:

What department store did they go to?

DAVID:

McIntire's.

DICK VAN DYKE:

McGinty's.

DAVID:

No. McIntire's. Remember:

(sings)

"For the very best in men's attire,

Head right down to McIntire's."

DICK VAN DYKE:

(stunned)

That's right.

He stares at David, speechless, for a moment, then smiles

fondly and reaches beside him for his tool kit.

DICK VAN DYKE (CONT)

Say--why don't you take this remote

instead. It's got a little more "Ooomph"

in it.

DAVID:

Ooomph?

DICK VAN DYKE:

Sure. Big beautiful set like this--you

want something that'll put you right in

the show.

JENNIFER:

(quickly)

We'll take it.

CLOSER.

He flashes them a big smile and holds out a weird looking

contraption that seems more primitive than space age. It's a

strange combination of an early transistor radio and Flash

Gordon ray gun. Dick Van Dyke extends it with pride, while

Jennifer and David stare at him warily ...

DAVID:

(beat)

How much does it cost?

DICK VAN DYKE:

Oh--couldn't charge you for something

like that. It's free.

JENNIFER:

Free?

DICK VAN DYKE:

Oh sure. Big fan like yourself. It's the

least I could do.

There is a SECOND CLAP OF THUNDER even louder than the first.

The house rattles for a moment then is quiet.

DICK VAN DYKE (CONT)

Well, I better get going. Your show's

almost on, and ...

(smiling at Jennifer)

It's almost time for your date.

He places the remote control gingerly on the coffee table and

smiles at them. Dick starts across the living room when he

suddenly catches his foot on the leg of the ottoman and

tumbles end over end. He rolls on the carpet, executes a

perfect somersault and comes right back to a standing

position. David and Jennifer stare at him stunned when he

looks back at them and smiles.

DICK VAN DYKE (CONT)

(grinning)

Take care now.

There is another flash of lightning as he reaches for the

doorknob. David and Jennifer look at one another while the

front door shuts with a THUD. It's quiet for a second or two

before there is another CLAP OF THUNDER. David c*cks his

head.

DIFFERENT ANGLE.

David glances down at the strange contraption sitting on the

coffee table. It looks a little scary. Slowly, very slowy, he

reaches down and touches it. Nothing seems to happen so he

picks it up.

CLOSER.

David points the remote toward the TV set with an

apprehensive look on his face. He winces a little, then

pushes one of the buttons.

DIFFERENT ANGLE.

The TV set turns on. Oprah's face fills the screen as an

angry housewife screams at a transvestite!

DAVID:

Hunh.

It ail seems normal as he pushes another button. This time

the channel changes.

DAVID (CONT)

(relaxing)

Great.

He continues to press the button, flipping through the

channels. Jennifer sees that everything is fine and reaches

for the remote.

JENNIFER:

Lemme see that.

DAVID:

No way.

He continues to flip through the channels, coming to rest on

the Pleasantville Marathon.

BUD'S VOICE fills the room.

BUD (OS)

(on TV)

Gee whizz, Mary Sue--why can't I borrow

your transistor radio?

MARY SUE (OS)

(on TV)

I promised Betty Jane she could use it

over the weekend.

FULL SHOT. TV SET. "PLEASANTVILLE" (BLACK AND WHITE)

Bud and Mary Sue clutch either end of a small transistor

radio. They seem to be in the EXACT SAME POSITION as David

and Jennifer, who are struggling over the remote control.

ANGLE. DAVID AND JENNIFER.

She tugs the remote while David yanks in the other direction.

JENNIFER:

Do you mind. This is like the most

important moment of my whole life.

DAVID:

Forget it Jen, I've waited a year for

this.

BUD (OS)

(on TV)

"But I told Mr. Miller I'd bring a

transistor in to electric shop."

MARY SUE (OS)

(on TV)

"And I told Betty Jean she could have it

for the picnic with Roy."

JENNIFER:

(yanking at it)

God, David. Just give it to me!

DAVID:

(yanking it back)

Get lost!

JENNIFER:

YOU get lost!

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