Please Give Page #5

MARY:

You know everyone CAN HEAR YOU.

(to Kate)

Sorry. She’s rude. You should smell

her place!

ANDRA:

My place doesn’t smell.

MARY:

Oh, right, piss and mold have no

odor, what was I thinking?

REBECCA:

Mary.

KATE:

No worries. Everyone, come sit

down. Anybody like some wine?

MARY:

Oh. Would you have any bourbon?

Rebecca glares at her.

MARY:

What?

ALEX:

(coming from kitchen)

I think we do have bourbon. Hi.

(to Mary)

I’m Alex.

MARY:

Mary. Nice to meet you.

ALEX:

(finding the bourbon)

Where’d you get that tan?

MARY:

(pleased)

Oh, you know.

REBECCA:

She lies on a tanning bed.

MARY:

I go to the Sheep Meadow.

REBECCA:

She lies on a tanning bed.

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MARY:

AND I go to the Sheep Meadow.

ALEX:

Either way, looks good!

MARY:

(glaring at Rebecca)

Thank you.

35 INT. APT. HALLWAY - LATER ON 35

Kate is knocking on Abby’s bedroom door. No response. She

enters to find Abby on her bed listening to her i-pod.

KATE:

Take those off.

Annoyed, she does.

KATE:

Why are you in here?

Abby points to the big red zit on her nose.

KATE:

I don’t understand.

ABBY:

I’m not going out there with this

thing on my nose.

KATE:

Don’t be ridiculous. You can’t even

see it.

ABBY:

SEE IT? It’s swallowing my whole

face! How can you not see it?

KATE:

I told you to stop eating french

fries and greasy crap.

ABBY:

It makes no difference.

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KATE:

Please come out and join us. You

look fine.

36 INT. DINING ROOM - LATER 36

Everyone (except Abby) is sitting at the table eating. Mary

is a little buzzed, so is Alex.

MARY:

I mean, if she was younger than me,

actually, I think she is younger

than me, but if she were prettier

than me I’d understand. But she’s

not, and she’s got this tan -

totally sprayed on - I would know.

The worst part is her back, though.

KATE:

(trying)

Are you still in love with him?

ANDRA:

He broke up with her.

MARY:

That’s not how it went down.

ALEX:

What’s wrong with her back?

MARY:

It’s muscular. All built up. And

she wears these skimpy tops.

ALEX:

That’s not good.

MARY:

No, right? Big Back is not good.

REBECCA:

Enough about her back.

KATE:

I don’t understand. When do you see

her?

REBECCA:

She works in a store near where

Mary works.

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KATE:

Oh. What do you do?

MARY:

I work in a spa. Downtown. You know

Face Works? I do facials there.

KATE:

Oh, cool. And what about you,

Rebecca? What do you do?

REBECCA:

I administer mammograms. I’m a

radiology technician.

KATE:

I had no idea. Is that interesting?

MARY:

If you like b*obs it is!

REBECCA:

You pop blackheads for a living.

(beat, to Kate)

It is interesting. I like the

people. You know, the patients.

MARY:

(under her breath)

Crush on the boss.

Rebecca shoots a look at Mary.

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Abby enters with a pair of underwear over her head.

ALEX:

Abby what are you doing?

KATE:

She’s covering a zit you can’t even

see. Abby, take them off, that’s

disgusting.

ANDRA:

(re:
Abby)

Who is that? Is that funny?

MARY:

(to Abby)

You should come to the spa. Facials

really help. Lets see it.

Abby shakes her head no.

MARY:

Come on, I’ve seen it all.

Slowly Abby removes the underwear.

MARY:

Whoa. That’s a big one!

ABBY:

Really?

REBECCA:

She’s drunk.

MARY:

And on your nose. It’s almost

cystic. Horrible.

REBECCA:

Mary!

ABBY:

No, I’d rather someone admit it. At

least then I don’t feel crazy.

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MARY:

I know exactly what you’re saying.

Half the time I do feel crazy.

ABBY:

Nobody ever says the truth.

MARY:

They should. If you get a sucky

haircut, people should admit it. If

some doctor procedure is going to

hurt, they should say it’s going to

hurt. It makes you feel worse if

they lie.

ABBY:

I hate it when people don’t say

bless you.

MARY:

You know what I hate? When you’re

in like, a store, and you hold the

door for the person behind you but

then they don’t hold the door for

the person behind them? And you’re

standing there like a f***ing

doorman!

ABBY:

And they don’t say thank you!

MARY:

Of course not! ‘Cause you’re not

there!

And at that she opens her purse, pulls out a lip gloss and

aggressively applies it.

MARY:

Jesus, sometimes I swear I must be

invisible.

She hands the lip gloss to Abby, who takes it, flattered.

KATE:

(less in awe)

Anyone for coffee?

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37 INT. LIVING ROOM - LATER ON 37

Andra, Rebecca and Mary are sitting on the couch drinking

coffee and eating cookies. Mary is drinking another bourbon.

Alex, Kate and Abby are sitting across from them.

ALEX:

I guess we give about two hundred

for Christmas.

ANDRA:

I give him nothing.

REBECCA:

That’s why he won’t fix anything

for you.

ANDRA:

If he fixed something I’d give him

money.

KATE:

You know he has like twelve

children.

ANDRA:

Nobody told him to do that.

KATE:

They’re totally poor. They live in

that one bedroom. His wife is in a

wheelchair - I think.

REBECCA:

I’ve never seen her in a

wheelchair.

KATE:

I’m pretty sure. I don’t see her

often, though.

Kate gets up and goes into the kitchen.

ANDRA:

So how do they make so many

children.

MARY:

People can f*** in a wheelchair,

Grandma.

(to Alex)

Can’t they?

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ALEX:

(laughing)

Why are you looking at me?

ANDRA:

He’s a crook and a slime.

MARY:

(to Alex)

IE:
he’s Puerto Rican.

Just then Kate comes out of the kitchen with a birthday cake.

She sings alone, briefly.

KATE:

Happy birthday to you...

Andra blows out the two candles as the cake is placed in

front of her.

MARY:

(meaning it)

You’re too nice.

Kate cuts the cake and distributes it. Alex reaches around

the chair and presents Andra with the basket full of bath and

beauty products.

ALEX:

This is for you.

MARY:

Wow. Those are some nice products!

KATE:

People don’t spoil themselves

enough, right?

Andra removes one of the bottles, unable to figure out

exactly what it does. She puts it down.

ANDRA:

I use Olay/Ponds. ALT:I can’t use

this.

Mary grabs the bottle.

MARY:

I’ll take it!

REBECCA:

You will not.

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MARY:

Why.

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REBECCA:

(to Kate)

She loves it. She just doesn’t know

how to use them yet.

Pause in the room.

MARY:

(beat)

So, what are you guys gonna do to

Grandma’s apartment? You’re gonna

break through and make this place

bigger? What, like the living room?

Everyone freezes, not sure this is kosher to talk about.

ALEX:

We’ve been wanting to redo the

whole place anyway. You know, the

kitchen. We could use another

bathroom.

ANDRA:

You’re going to have to change the

tiles in there. They’re covered in

mold. I’d re-tile the whole thing.

MARY:

I’m sure they’re gonna gut it,

grandma. And you’ll be dead, you

won’t have to worry about it.

Rebecca looks down, painfully uncomfortable that everyone is

talking about this.

KATE:

Yeah, we’ll probably gut

everything.

ABBY:

Like a fish.

MARY:

What else, another bedroom?

REBECCA:

Mary.

MARY:

What?

Rebecca looks at Andra, then back at Mary.

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