Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping

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MAN:
E, E, E, E, E.

Then I would go to, like, a G. And

these are all just power chords.

Hey, how you doing? You're tuned

in to Style Boyz television.

I'm just sparking up.

Style Boyz radio hour.

Sparking up this French fry.

K-F-F-F-R.

I am French Fry Guy.

Hello.

No! French Fry Guy!

I am French Fry Guy.

Not again!

LAWRENCE:
Cut!

Yeah!

Style Boyz.

(SINGING) Me likey that

When a genie grants wishes

About girls blowing kisses

And your momma doing dishes

Me likey that

CONNER:
Okay.

Where to start?

Ever since I was born,

I was dope.

TILLY:
Honey.

(PLAYING DRUMS)

Oh, my gosh, sweetie!

CONNER:
I loved music,

and as soon as I could,

I started a band with my two

best friends, Owen and Lawrence.

The Style Boyz.

Right away, people noticed us

because our lyrics were beautiful

and insightful, poetic even.

(SINGING) You're a motherfucking,

titty-sucking Two-bailed b*tch

With a popcorn p*ssy

And a full-on dick

Style Boyz in the house

And we give a f***

So whip out your nuts

And shut the f*** up...

QUESTLOVE:
The thing

about the Style Boyz

is that their chemistry and their

friendship was really authentic.

You know, you could tell that they

were really friends with each other.

They were hot.

(CHUCKLES)

CONNER:
Before you knew it,

we signed with a major label

and put out our first

single, Karate Guy.

One, two, three, four.

(SINGING) I like to kick

it, I'm a karate guy

Kiya, Kiya

Kiya...

Karate Guy?

Are you kidding me, man?

That song changed my Ne.

Now I'm in a cowboy hat

ALL:
(SINGING)

Yee-haw, yee-haw

Now I'm in a cowboy hat

ALL:
(SINGING)

Yee-haw, yee-haw

Now I'm in three cowboy hats

ALL:
(SINGING)

Yee-haw

USHER:
Kid Contact. He handled

the beats and the music.

Kid Brain, you know,

he did all the lyrics.

And then, Conner,

he was the charismatic one.

The one who brought it

all together.

You tell me you didn't see him

and say, "Yo, he's the star."

CONNER:
Things definitely

started to get complicated.

I couldn't help it

if the world chose me.

PHOTOGRAPHER:

Take one.

You want me to look here?

Pretty funny, right?

(LAUGHING)

CONNER:
Be original.

Be fearless.

I love my White Butt Jeans.

As my star kept burning

brighter, some stood by me.

Others couldn't take the heat.

(MUSIC PLAYING)

CONNER:
We broke up

the next day.

I went solo,

and Owen became my DJ.

Lawrence quit

the music biz altogether.

And our DJ, Francis, moved

to Japan to hunt dolphins,

like a d*ckhead.

But it turned out all of that

was just a blessing in disguise

because it turned me into

Conner4Real-(LAUGHING)

I dropped my first album. And

what can I say? It was a smash.

And I owed it all to my fans,

who I share everything with.

Yo, brushing my teeth.

Yo, I just ate a taco.

It's Conner's Confessions,

hoverboard edition. (LAUGHS)

Oh, f***.

(GRUNTS)

(CHUCKLES)

Dude.

Yo, just got my butt waxed.

That sh*t hurt.

(LAUGHS)

He's painfully honest with his fans,

probably too honest, really, like...

But they love him for it.

Yo, just jacked it.

Um... Feeling pretty

mellow right now.

Doink de doink.

ALL:
Doink de doink.

Doink de doink.

I think he's incredible.

He really is the real deal.

CONNER:
My fans and me, we're in love.

(GLASS SHATTERS)

My songs are love letters,

and the arena is our bedroom.

The stage...

The stage is where we f***.

(VOCALIZING)

(CROWD CHEERING)

Watch out Watch out...

It's Conner!

(SINGING) Bar none,

I am the most humblest

Number one at the top

of the humble list

My apple crumble is by far

The most crumblest

But I act like it tastes

bad out of humbleness

The thing about me

that's so impressive

ls how infrequently I

mention all of my successes

I poo-poo it When girls

say that I should model

My belly's full from all

the pride I swallow

(CONNER LAUGHS)

(SINGING) I've got it all

And I'm getting more

Adam Levine's hologram!

But I never fall Beat them all

(ALL CHEERING) 'Cause

you know I'm so humble

So expensive.

I'm so humble I'm so humble

I'm not your normal

definition of a rock star

I don't complain

When my private jet is subpar

Your mom's old But I'll

ask if she's your sister

People say I'm charming

But I beg to differ

I feel more humble

Than Dikembe Mutombo

After a stumble left him

covered In a big pot of gumbo

I guess, in a way, being

gracious ls my weakness

People say I'm so

unpretentious For a genius

ADAM LEVINE:
I've got it

all And I'm getting more

But I never fall Beat them all

'Cause you know I'm so humble

CONNER:
I say that

with no ego.

ADAM:
I'm so humble

I'm so humble

(MAN VOCALIZING)

(CROWD CHEERING)

Watch out Watch out

I'm So Humble, I instantly

connected with that

because I'm probably the most

humble person that I know.

HARRY DUGGINS:
Yeah, well, it's a

pretty exciting time right now.

Conner's second album, his

second solo album, CONNquest,

is dropping in two weeks.

And then we go

on the world tour.

Harry, get in here, man.

HARRY:
I've been Conner's manager

since back with the Style Boyz.

It used to be the four of

us riding around in a van.

But, uh, with success, our family

had to get a little bit bigger.

Sure, Conner surrounds himself

with people who are agreeable.

I wouldn't call them

yes men- EDDIE:
Whoo!

EDDIE:
Money!

ALL:
Oh!

(ALL CHEERING)

It went in! It went in!

You a murderer, son!

Well, Conner currently has 32

people on his personal payroll.

He has a personal assistant, a

party coordinator, an ab trainer,

basketball coach,

an eyebrow specialist,

sneaker jockey,

two umbrella Wranglers,

a weed roller, a weed holder, a turtle

sitter for Maximus, scarf caddy..

(GRUNTS) ...a guy who

punches him in the nuts

so that he remembers where he came

from... (G ROAN S) You're right.

A perspective manipulator...

(MAN SPEAKING)

Oh! That's a guy who's, uh,

slightly shorter than Conner

who he pays to stand near him at

events to make him look taller.

You know, back in my high

school days I was in a band.

You may have heard of them, called Tony!

Toni! Tone! Tonee?

We broke up over

creative differences.

Each Tony had an exclamation

point after their name,

and I thought my name

should have a question mark.

So it would be Tony!

Toni! Tone! Tonee?

In hindsight, it was

not my best decision,

but that led me to Conner.

So who's laughing now?

Here you go, buddy. Ow, dude!

You bit me, Max.

This is my best friend Maximus.

My mom gave him to me

when I was nine years old,

like, right after my dad died.

I feel like he's, like, the

closest thing I've ever had

to, like, a little brother

or something.

If I had, like, a mute brother

that was hella scaly.

As a hatchling, the doctors said

that he had been diagnosed

with soggy bones syndrome

and that he was not gonna make

it past, like, six months,

but that was 20 years ago.

(WHISPERS) You're my best friend.

Don't tell Owen.

Come on up here. This is

Owen's world right here.

This is where

I keep all my gear.

This is one of the earliest synths I

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