Precious: Based On The Novel Push By Sapphire Page #8

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where it happened

and how did you respond?

Precious was a little girl.

Try and remember

how old you think she was.

She was three.

And l had been giving her the bottle

and l was g iving Carl the tittie

because my m ilk hadn't d ried u p

in my breasts

but not from her, but because Carl was. . .

Because Carl was sucking on them

and that's what kept my milk in my breasts.

And l thought that that was for hygiene.

l did what my mother told me

that l was supposed to do with my child,

so that's what l d id .

And you're sitting u p there

and you're trying to judge me. . .

l'm not judging you,

but you're asking me for money

and you're aski ng me

to be reunited with your grandson.

But, Ms. Weiss,

l don't like you looking at me like that.

You got this b*tch looki ng at me

like I'm some kind of f***ing monster.

We don't talk like this i n my office, okay?

l didn't want her suoking behind him,

because that was nasty.

And th ings that he was. . .

lt was just nasty, Ms. Weiss.

l had a man , and l have a ch ild

and l had to take care of both of them.

Okay?

Did l want Carl to touch my baby?

Because l would lay my baby.

l would lay her on the side of me,

on this pillow

and it was pink

and it had this little white writing on it

and it had her name,

because she was Precious.

And l would lay my baby on that pillow

and Carl would be laying on the other side

and then we would . . .

We would start doing it

and he reached over

and he touched my baby.

And l asked him,

l said, ''Carl, what are you doing?''

And he told me to shut. . .

To sh ut my fat ass up,

and it was good for her.

-And what did you do then?

-I sh ut my fat ass up.

And l don't want you to sit there

and judge me, Ms. Weiss.

You shut up

and you let hi m abuse your daughter?

l did not want him to abuse my daughter.

-l d id not want hi m to hurt her.

-But you al lowed hi m

-to hurt her.

-I d id not want him to do nothing to her.

l wanted h im to make love to me.

That was my man.

That was my f***ing man.

That was my man

and he wanted my daughter.

And that's why l hated her.

Because my man,

who was supposed to be loving me,

who was supposed

to be making love to me,

was f***ing my baby.

She made him leave.

She made him go away.

So, whose fault was it, then?

lt's this b*tch's fau lt

because she let my man have her

and she d idn't say nothing.

She didn't scream. She didn't do nothing.

So, those things she told you l did to her,

who else was gonna love me?

Since you got your degree

and you know every-f***ing-thing,

who was gonna love me,

who was gonna make me feel good?

Who was gonna touch me

and make me feel good late at night?

And she made him go away, so. . .

When you sit there and you write

them f***ing notes on your pad

about who you th ink l am ,

and why l did it, all of that.

Because l didn't have nobody.

The people from

Each One Teach One,

they had . . . They called me

and they told me that my baby

was writing poems.

ln fact, you know what, l got. . .

Wait a minute.

l'm sorry.

l'm sorry.

And, Ms. Weiss, l don't want no checks.

l don't need no more money. please.

l'm so sorry.

l took that TABE test again.

And what happened?

l scored a 7. 8.

Last time it was 2. 8.

Accordi ng to that test,

l'm reading at

a seventh- and eighth-grade level.

Next year, high school. Atter that, college.

Well, l like you, too.

But you can't handle me.

You can't handle none of this.

You know, l never knew what you was

until this day.

Not even atter all them things you did.

Maybe l was too stupid , or

maybe l just didn't want to.

You ain't gonna see me no more.

Bye!

l didn't want him to h urt my baby.

Please, God ,

l didn't want him to h urt my baby.

Ms. Weiss,

l didn't want him to h urt my baby.

l would say to him , l would say. . .

''Carl, what are you doing?

What are you doing? What are you doing?''

Can you go get her back?

You can do that,

because that's what you do.

That's what you do.

l need you to go

and l need you to get my baby back.

You told me that I could come in here

and you cou ld get. . .

You could get Precious to say. . .

Ms. Weiss? Ms. Weiss? Ms. Weiss?

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