Precious Cargo Page #7

[both] We're rich

and we're pregnant!

Jackie boy, what's goin' on?

Remember that, uh,

Colonel Carter

who hated me so much

he threw me out of the Army?

Well, I'm with

his two daughters!

[laughs]

Hey, Jack, I shaved the beard,

and you owe me two more

vacations. Two more.

Just want you to know

I'm f***in' done with Roy.

He shits and pisses everywhere.

I can't, I can't deal with that.

I'm never watching the dog

again. Look at this sh*t. Look.

You wanna see? Look.

See that sh*t?

All he does is f***in' sh*t.

- [dog barking]

- Roy, no! No!

Jack, he's tryin' to f*** Grace.

[sighs] I'm gonna kill this dog.

It's not love

raining down on you

[woman] B-marker.

[sighs]

How many months are...?

Got any pickles?

[laughs]

- You wanna shove it in your ass?

- [laughs]

Good. And?

[laughs]

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

There's a fly going

between us like this.

- Jack, who is that woman?

- Have you ever seen The Ring?

[laughter]

- I want her home by morning.

- All right.

I think she's a little big

for a hand off.

[laughs]

Just one. One.

One big one for the clap.

Hard. Hard.

Oh, my God, she's...

- [man] Okay, wait. Let's turn it around here.

- Yeah. Okay.

Old MacDonald had a farm

E-I-E-I-O

And on his farm

he had Max...

[laughs, babbles]

Okay, wait. That's okay.

[man] That's a shot. I'm sorry.

All right. Let's go again.

[man] So you talk about

your vagina again, please.

- Roll the vagina part now.

- [laughs]

- It's like Fawlty Towers with a maniac.

- Ready?

- He couldn't help himself.

- There you go.

- Hi, Danny! [laughs]

- [man] I've got a gun for you.

- [man] Ready, Mark?

- I'm ready.

- Hi, Dan!

- [man] Get ready, guys.

- [laughter]

- [indistinct chatter]

I'm at the reception desk,

South Tower. Please, hurry.

Can you get me my car? And I should

get a free upgrade. This is crazy.

This is the worst vacation ever.

I should totally get a refund.

Ooh. You got belly,

you got belly, you got... arr!

Ahh!

Use a condom.

It's all I'm gonna say.

[Jenna] Jack,

who the hell is that?

- Uh, Mom's friend. Jesus.

- [laughter]

[man] All right. Cut.

[man] All right, go, get 'em,

they're so slow!

[laughter]

[Jack] We're all gonna die,

guys.

- You better run. I'm just tellin' you right now.

- [Karen] We're all gonna die?

She's all I had

Ain't that some best friend

All with my chest

Ain't that a son of a b*tch

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