Premium Rush Page #2

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and all that brain and you throw it away.

Look, why are we having this conversation?

You get it. You ride like I do.

No, I ride, but not like you, Wilee.

I put a brake on my bike and I use it.

Yeah, and that brake's gonna get you killed.

You should get rid of that.

The worst sh*t that ever happened to me

happened when I had a brake.

Brakes are death.

You know what?

That thing you say, it's not as cute any more.

You could have any job you want.

When I see a guy in a grey business suit,

my age,

makes my balls shrivel up into my abdomen.

Whatever.

Hi, Alonzo.

We get paid to ride.

What could be better than that?

Do you know why I ride?

Because I hate waiting tables. Thank you.

Look, I'm sorry

that I didn't come to your school thing.

But what do you want me to

do about it right now?

My "school thing"?

It was graduation

and you blew it off for a race.

Look, I know it took me eight years

to get my degree,

but I'm gonna get a decent job

and sit behind a desk all day.

I don't need anyone in my life

telling me that it's meaningless

'cause it means something to me.

And I need to know that I can count on you.

Hello?

- I gotta go.

- Of course you do.

I'm gonna call you back.

Hey, what?

Douche bag?

What the hell's the matter with you?

Come on, son, this is silly.

You're gonna skin your knee.

I think I'll be all right. Thank you, though.

Just pull over, right up here.

Come on.

You're a very uncooperative guy,

you know that'?

- Come on, give it to me!

- No!

You take care now!

Sh*t!

Sh*t.

I'm chasing a bicycle.

Jesus.

Tricky.

- You moron!

- You're right!

- You maniac!

- Sorry! My fault!

Hey! Give me the envelope!

What?

- You can hear me, you little sh*t.

- Sorry, I can't hear you!

What's it to you? Come on!

Give me the goddamn envelope!

That? No.

No, no, no.

I just wish they wouldn't ride

on the sidewalk, you know?

I mean, look,

I understand you've got a job to do.

Excuse me!

Hey, hey!

Hey, hey, hey! Slow down!

Now, see?

I told you this wouldn't end well for you.

Where'd you go?

Hey!

Come here!

Hey!

Yo, you crazy?

NYPD! I wanna talk to you for a minute!

Great.

Hey! Pull over!

Hey!

Delinquent scum!

Red shirt on the bicycle!

NYPD!

You just caused an accident back there!

Pull over!

Come on.

Sh*t!

My baby!

Sh*t.

You little sh*t.

- Thanks for helping me with this.

- You know I'm always there for you.

Well, I couldn't have done it on my own,

so thanks.

Look, it's none of my business,

but you know you saved yourself a lot of

heartache breaking up with the Coyote Man.

I mean, seriously, you know, he's crazy.

And it's not like

he's some great cyclist or something.

I mean, he's just got a death wish, that's all.

That's no skill.

Only reason he beats me in alleycats

is 'cause the man got a mental instability.

I mean, all that fixie bullshit.

You know, the no brakes, no gears.

- That's ridiculous.

- Yeah, I hear ya.

Look, think about it, okay?

He's broke his left collarbone twice.

Got a couple concussions, a pin in his wrist.

That's when he was doing all that trick stuff.

He's not into that any more.

Okay, sure, but the way he rides.

What does that tell you'?

How much he loves it, I guess.

Then he's got him

some confused priorities, babe.

Yeah. No, Manny.

Hey, my roommate's in some kind of trouble

and she won't text me back.

Can you just drop me off over on Broadway?

Please? I gotta go find her.

- Okay, okay. Okay.

- Thanks.

Jesus.

Sh*t.

- This douche bag tried to...

- I can hear you.

Sorry.

Guy tried to rob me

and run me over with his car.

- Are you injured?

- No.

- You wanna file a complaint?

- No, I want him arrested.

It's like attempted vehicular manslaughter,

or whatever.

Is it, Your Honour? Have a seat,

someone will be right out to

take your statement.

I also have a picture

of his license plate number.

That's fantastic.

Have a seat, someone will be right with you.

Thank you for your concern.

Holy moly.

Hey. What do ya know?

Detective Monday graces us

with his presence.

Yeah. I'm sorry I'm late.

Your wife had a lot of unusual requests.

- Yeah'? She still got that rash?

- Yeah. I worked around it.

What's the matter with your face, Monday?

Goddamn tooth went abscess on me,

vicious little bastard. I go to the dentist,

son of a b*tch got me in the waiting room

an hour and a half.

Finally, he sits me in the chair,

takes one look at it...

Yanks it right out of my head.

Can you believe it? Yeah, that's why I'm late.

Yeah.

Yeah. Got you now, sucker.

Monster hand, monster hand.

Jesus, you're kidding me!

Goddamn sh*t! No!

Next time better luck, Bobby, huh?

Not bad hand, not bad hand.

Almost, Bobby.

Everything okay, Bobby?

It's great. I just gotta get to work is all.

Same old, same old.

Mr Monday, Mr Sunday.

Rebuy.

Hello? Rebuy.

- Let me get you a Coke, Bobby.

- No, thank you.

- I need five grand. What's the problem?

- It's up to 17.

Which happens to be my lucky number.

This isn't your game, man.

Anglos don't have the math for Pai Gow.

- Mr Lin thinks...

- What does Mr Lin think?

He can't get shut down

'cause a cop owes him a few dollars?

- Come on, you don't wanna talk like that.

- 72nd Street. Brooklyn Players.

They all went down eventually.

They all go down, Charlie Chan.

- Maybe you need to go get some fresh air.

- You take a walk in the park!

I want a rebuy!

Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. Sorry.

Sorry.

Look, if you really need cash...

- I shouldn't be telling you this.

- What?

You know that b*tch snakehead

my sister works for?

- Yeah.

- She said they got a serious ticket

coming down from a hawaladar

in Morningside, tonight.

- How much is it worth?

- Fifty grand.

And that ticket is as good as cash.

If you get a hold of that thing

and bring it here,

your money problems with us are over.

Maybe I take a little finder's fee,

let's just say a third.

Mr Lin gets the rest, and you're even.

What do I look like,

a change-snatcher to you? I'm a cop.

I look like a purse-pincher,

a goddamn mugger?

I'm just trying to help you out.

You don't wanna do that, then be a big boy,

go to the Shy, borrow what you gotta borrow.

- Mr Lin gets his 17, you're right back in.

- Yeah.

- What's the vig?

- Twenty points.

- That's ridiculous.

- Don't take it.

- From our friends in Ozone Park?

- You wish.

- Brighton Beach.

- Sh*t.

Seriously, don't take it.

Give it to me.

Hey, where you going?

- He took it across the street.

- I have now seen it all.

Look at that sick bastard.

Come on.

Yeah, come on, come on.

Are you sure you want

to put that all in one hand?

Yeah, I'm sure.

Come on.

This is the one.

Let's see, what do we got here?

What do we got?

Keep your eyes to yourself, all right, buddy?

I'm not done.

Six plus seven is sh*t!

Six plus five is sh*t.

Eight plus five is six... ls seven... ls sh*t.

It's all sh*t, no matter how you add it up.

Yeah.

Whatever, whatever. Thanks a lot.

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