Pride Page #3

Victory to the miners.

Victory to the miners!

Martin, come on.

Tell them you've run a

whole canteen before.

- You're not just packing food parcels.

- Go.

And don't look so bloody worried.

It's not the first day of school.

Right.

What do they need to come here for?

We sent them a thank-you note.

Every other group has been invited.

Every other group was approved

by the whole committee.

- Oh, I see.

- Dai had to make a snap decision.

Oh, this is all my fault.

He was in London. Would you have

told them to keep their money?

I'll tell you what I would've done.

I would've come back.

All right, I run a civil meeting here.

If you want to scream and shout,

get on the pickets.

I don't have a problem

with what they are.

- None of us do.

- It's the men.

Well, you bring a load of gays

into a working men's club,

you get trouble. I'm sorry.

No other group has raised as much.

- I'm not disputing that.

- Or been so consistent.

Why don't you just invite them?

Sorry, but everyone's saying

they don't have a problem.

Good. They've raised the

most money, so invite them.

And who the bloody hell are you?

- You did what?

- I know.

But Hefina, she's like the head honcho,

absolutely terrifying,

well, she obviously can't

stand this Maureen.

Kids, mind the fish fingers.

What's the matter?

You told me not to sell myself short.

I'm not talking about that.

Gays and lesbians.

- We are trying to fit in here, Sian.

- What?

Volunteer, I said. Run the canteen.

They didn't want me on the canteen.

Wanted me on the committee.

All right, so keep your head down.

Do the paperwork.

Don't start stirring it all up,

inviting a load of gays and lesbians.

Oh, it's like that, is it?

I had you down as many things,

but prejudiced was never one of them.

- I'm not prejudiced.

- No?

I'm a realist. I know what

small towns are like, Sian,

and I know exactly how those

lads are going to react.

- You think so?

- I know so.

I'm standing on a bloody picket

with them day after day.

It was a majority decision.

The committee decided.

I hope you and your bloody committee

can guarantee their safety, Sian. I do.

I really do.

All aboard the deviants bus.

No pushing, no community singing,

and absolutely no

back-chatting the driver.

- Right, where are we going?

- Wales.

F*** me.

Someone better roll

me a little spliffette.

What I'd like to know is,

what Bromley told his mum and dad.

- Yeah.

- I just... Oh, it's no big deal.

Come on.

I said that I was doing

so well at college,

they were sending me

on a residential course.

Doing what?

Choux pastry.

Bromley! Bromley!

Bromley! Bromley! Bromley!

Bit late in the day for that, isn't it?

That's the fourth one I've done.

Fast as I put them up,

they pull them down.

I'm running out of staples.

Every woman is a lesbian at heart

Every woman is a lesbian at heart

You can't possibly say that

every woman is a lesbian.

- Why not?

- Because they're not.

Esther Rantzen isn't a lesbian.

My mum is not a lesbian.

How do you know?

How do I know my mum's not a lesbian?

What he's trying to say is,

you can't make

grand, sweeping generalizations.

It's not acceptable.

Every woman is a lesbian at heart

Every woman is a lesbian at heart

Including Reggie's mum

Look at the map. We should have

turned left at that village.

How can that be a village?

It doesn't have vowels.

- Hang on a minute.

- Yes?

I think so.

Are we here?

We're here.

Oh, my God.

Come on, let's go.

Right, then.

- I guess we just...

- I'm starting to freak out slightly.

Dai, your gays have arrived.

- Good to see you again.

- Good to see you.

Hi there. Welcome.

Welcome. Come on in, everybody.

Great to see you again.

Great to see you again.

Hello. Come on in.

Welcome, everybody.

- This is my wife, Margaret.

- Hello.

- How are you?

- This is Gail.

- And Sian, who wrote to you.

- Sian.

This is Hefina, who chairs

the welfare committee.

This is Gwen.

- And this is Cliff, our club secretary.

- How you doing?

I'm going to officiate you.

Oh, good.

Hold that, and name here, please.

And in the corresponding box,

the group or organization you represent.

In this case...

Lesbians and Gays Support the Miners.

Yep. Quite. Absolutely.

Thank you. Thank you

very much for having us.

Now, I'm hoping you can clear

something up for me about lesbians.

- Not now, Gwen.

- Something I was told in the market,

and to be honest with you,

it did surprise me...

- Let them get settled in first, shall we?

- Oh.

Now, who's making the speech?

A speech?

No big deal. One of you has to go up

on stage and say a few words.

Just so we know who you are, like.

I'll tell the band to shut up,

and we'll push you on.

And welcome, all of you.

To be honest,

I never thought you'd come.

Anybody else feel like

appointing themselves leader?

Didn't think so. Ahem.

A million miles from home

But I'm walkin'

Walkin'

For you

Walkin' for you

Now then, ladies and gentlemen,

we're joined once again by

one of our support groups,

Lesbians and Gays Support the Miners.

Will you, welcome their

spokesman onto the stage?

Thank you.

Thank you, Dai. Thank you,

Falling Leaves.

Actually, Dai Donovan made

a speech at our local pub,

and he's a pretty tough act to follow,

so maybe now is the moment for

my musical tribute to Judy Garland.

Look, we raised this money

because we wanna help you.

And that's it.

And we'll keep on trying to help

you for as long as you want us to

because we've been through

some of the same things

you've been through.

Listen, if one in five people is gay,

then one in five miners

must be too, right?

So that's at least a fifth of

you who's pleased to see us.

Thank you.

Thank you for inviting us here.

Thanks.

One, two, three, four...

Them falling leaves

They say that summer's done

The wind and rains

They say so too

But ain't no winter skies

Will ever shadow the sun

While I'm with you...

- Night, everybody.

- Good night, Dai.

There we are.

All settled in.

It's teething problems, love.

Everything will be all right

once they start to mix.

I'm not talking about running away.

I'm talking about making

a dignified exit.

Tomorrow before dawn.

We can't waltz into a town

like this, expect them not to...

- Slit our throats?

- Just be cautious.

I don't know about anybody else, but I don't

have to travel to get my head kicked in.

- I can very easily get that at home.

- Anyone who wants to go should go.

- I came to help.

- They don't want your help.

Well, they can tell me that to my face.

Until that time, I'm a member of LGSM.

I'm gonna do what I set out to do.

No hiding, no running away,

no apologies.

Me too.

- Yeah.

- And me.

And me.

This is a Welsh castle, mind.

None of your Norman rubbish.

According to legend,

the maiden Sabrina came here, see,

and became the goddess

of the River Severn.

- How'd she manage that then, Cliff?

- By drowning.

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