Pride and Prejudice Page #5

Oh! Much better!

Jane dear, I was talking

about dear Mr. Bingley.

What a charming son-in-law

he will be!

But, he hasn't proposed yet,

has he, Mama?

He will! I told him some things

about Jane before I left.

Mama!

Only that you have the loveliest

disposition in the world!

And, I let drop the fact

that you had declined any number

of marriage proposals.

Oh, Mama, you didn't!

Of course, I did!

Didn't I, Lizzie?

I'm afraid you did, Mama.

And I set that arrogant Mr. Darcy

down, too, before I left!

Did you hear what I said to him,

Lizzie?

Yes. I heard only too clearly.

Oh, ah, Matthews,

is dinner ready?

Yes, milady.

Good! I'm starving!

So am I! How long

do we have to wait

for this Collins person?

Matthews, go upstairs

and tell Mr. Collins

we're waiting dinner for him!

Very well, Madame.

Insufferable creature!

After all, Mama,

it isn't his fault

that he is to inherit

the estate someday.

To think we have to feed the man

who is waiting to snatch

the bread out of our mouths!

Scheming to rob us

of everything we have

the moment

your poor dear father is dead!

Ahem. I sometimes think,

my dear,

that you've taken

an unnecessarily gloomy view

about my future.

Well, Papa, tell us

what he is really like.

Well, from the little

I saw of him

between the front door

and his bedroom,

I should say that he was

an uncommonly fine specimen.

Here he comes!

I have heard much, Madame,

of the charm and beauty

of your daughters.

Madame, I have heard much

about the charm and beau-!

Oh, heavens!

What a pudding face!

Perhaps

he has beauties of character.

Yes, perhaps, my dear.

But, we shall see.

I trust I haven't

kept you waiting, sir.

Not at all, sir. Not at all.

And now, let me present you

to Mrs. Bennet and my daughters.

Mrs. Bennet, my dear, Mr. Collins.

How do you do, Mr. Collins?

I trust your journey

was not too fatiguing.

Oh, Madame, the fatigues

of the journey

have been melted away

by the warmth

of your gracious hospitality.

Uhm, my daughters, Mr. Collins.

This is Jane.

This is indeed a privilege.

Kitty.

Another privilege.

Lydia, our youngest.

Mary.

And Elizabeth.

I'm quite overpowered.

Madame, I have heard

much of the charm

and beauty of your daughters.

May I say that their fame

falls far short of the reality?

Unfortunately, looks

aren't the only things

that count, Mr. Collins.

Even a beautiful girl

must have money.

And, things are settled

so very ugly in this family.

Ah, quite so, Madame.

Well, speaking of beauty,

it might interest you to know

that my taste in it

was formed by the expert opinion

of my distinguished patroness,

Lady Catherine de Bourgh.

Uh-hmm, Mr. Collins,

would you tell us something

about your

distinguished patroness?

Oh, Lady Catherine!

Never in my life, sir,

have I witnessed

such behavior

in a person of the rank.

Such affability and

- condescension!

You surprise me, sir!

I had heard of Lady Catherine -

as a very proud

and haughty woman!

Such is the vulgar opinion, sir!

But, I can assure you,

although I act

as her Ladyship's librarian,

she has always spoken to me as

she would to any other gentleman.

Not really!

And, now, let me give you

a further instance

of her Ladyship's

extraordinary condescension.

She advised me to marry

as soon as I could,

and, actually promised

to call upon my wife!

Provided, of course,

I choose with discretion.

Oh! Do explain yourself,

Mr. Collins.

As you all well know,

when a certain

melancholic event occurs,

I shall be the involuntary means

of disinheriting your daughters.

I have long felt it my duty

to make such reparation

as within my power.

I quite understand, Mr. Collins!

Unfortunately, I cannot

make amends to more than one.

The difficulty now is, ah,

one of, ah, choice.

I think, perhaps, Miss Jane.

I'm sorry to disappoint you,

Mr. Collins,

but, Jane is practically engaged.

We are expecting a proposal

any moment now.

Well, then, ah, Miss Elizabeth.

That is,

if there is no prior claim.

Oh, none!

Ah, none that we know of.

Dinner is served, Madame.

And, now, my dear Mr. Collins,

shall we adjourn

to the dining room?

Pray taste the cold punch,

Mr. Darcy,

and, see

if it's properly blended.

Excellent!

Have it served at once, Roberts.

Very well, Madame.

Entertaining the rustics

is not as difficult as I feared.

Any simple childish games seems

to amuse them excessively.

Stop swinging!

I'm going to fall!

You are not going to fall,

dummy!

Miss Elizabeth!

Miss Elizabeth!

Miss Elizabeth!

Miss Elizabeth!

Miss Elizabeth!

Miss Elizabeth! Miss Elizabeth!

Well, sir! Sir!

I beg your pardon, sir!

Do you - do you happen to know

Miss Elizabeth Bennet, sir?

I do, sir.

Has she - has she passed

this way, may I ask?

No, sir.

She has not passed this spot.

I suggest that you try

the other side of the lake, sir.

I'm obliged to you, sir.

All clear.

Thank you, Mr. Darcy.

You saved me from one

of the most

dangerous bores

in the country.

If the dragon returns, then,

George will know

how to deal with him.

Meanwhile, what do you say

to a little target practice?

Very well.

Are you a good shot with the

bow and arrow, Mr. Darcy?

Tolerable.

Only - tolerable?

Well, it's a fine old sport.

And one in which even a

young lady can become proficient.

So I heard.

At a short range, of course.

And, with a light bow.

Hmm! What a bad shot!

On the contrary, well done!

Well, it might have been worse.

Now, it's your turn.

Now, the bow - in the left hand.

Ah! This way.

So... the arrow goes like this.

Now, these three fingers

- one, two, three.

Now, the left arm, straight.

Straight, straight, straight.

Now, turn sideways

toward the target.

Aim the bull's eye.

Yes, that's right.

Bull's eye.

And, another bull's eye.

Next time I talk to a young lady

about archery,

I wouldn't be so patronizing.

Yes! Thank you for the lesson.

Thank you for taking it so well.

Most men would be offended.

And, rightly.

Would you mind telling me,

Miss Bennet,

why you are so determined

to offend me?

Is that possible, Mr. Darcy?

I thought you were invulnerable!

You always look so - impassive.

Perhaps you don't laugh enough.

You may be right.

But, you haven't

answered my question.

Mr. Darcy, you promised to give me

a lesson with the darts.

I give no more instructions

to young ladies.

They're apt

to give instructions to me.

What do you say, Miss Bingley?

Miss Elizabeth thinks

I do not laugh enough.

I should be sorry to see you

laugh more than you do.

To me,

there's something so unrefined

about excessive laughter.

Oh! If you want to be really

refined, you have to be dead.

There's no one as dignified

as a mummy.

And, now, may I ask you

a question, Mr. Darcy?

By all means!

What would you think of a man

who had everything

the world has to offer?

Birth, breeding, wealth,

- good looks.

Even charm,

when he chose to exercise it.

What would be your opinion

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