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I'd just like to know,

you know, how much.

Okay, let me guess.

- Twenty-nine.

- No.

Really? Older?

- You don't look 30 to me.

- Thanks.

I'm 23.

No, you're not.

I don't believe you.

Let me see the license.

Oh, my God. You're a child.

Taxi!

I have T-shirts older than you.

- They let me drive, okay?

- Yeah, with a parent in the car.

How come you seem

so much older to me?

I don't know.

I don't know if I can do this.

Come on.

- Can you hold this?

- Sure.

- Are we gonna get in trouble?

- I hope so.

This place is amazing.

I can't believe

I've walked by this for 15 years...

and I didn't know

it was here.

Let's have it.

What?

How did you know?

Okay. His name is David...

and he's really, really nice.

I mean, sweet.

And I met him a few days ago

and he asked me out on a date.

And we went out to dinner...

and we kissed.

I like beer.

- Good.

- I mean, no, I...

I never used to. I had to learn,

'cause nobody in my family drinks.

You're lucky,

'cause everyone in my family drinks.

No, I mean, my family,

they don't drink anything.

It's like

Salt Lake City.

They'll have maybe a sip of wine

every Friday night, on the Sabbath.

That's it, though,

and it's Manischewitz.

I've never had that.

You like High-C?

'Cause my mom, she likes to keep

the wine in the fridge...

and we'll still be drinking it

three months later.

- A good chardonnay can last...

- Yeah. It's red.

That's not good.

- Hey, by the way. Things to avoid.

- Okay.

Beginning sentences with,

"My mom."

Right.

I'm all over it.

However old you are,

I have to say...

I haven't had this much fun

in a really long time.

I'm glad I met you.

I gotta tell you...

you're making me nervous

in a way I'm not really familiar with.

My God, Lisa, what am I doing?

I only got divorced last week.

Easy, easy. It's okay.

You didn't tattoo his name

on your toochis, did you?

Do you want to

save some of that for later?

What? What is it?

He's...

- He's only 27.

- And?

What do you mean, "and"?

I mean, that's 10 years different.

He could be my brother.

If he were one year younger,

he could be your brother.

Aren't you embarrassed for me?

I mean...

this just smells of

"pool boy at Sandals Resort."

Oh, it's fine.

It might even do you some good...

if you know what I mean.

- Lisa!

- What?

There's nothing to be ashamed of.

You're both at your sexual peak.

So you approve?

Yes. Unequivocally.

Yes, this is good.

But it can't really go anywhere.

You know, I mean, he's...

He's so young.

Yeah, but it's a little early

to be worrying about that.

And besides, you're not looking to

get married next week, right?

Enjoy your life

a little bit.

You deserve this.

Twenty-seven.

Hell, I deserve this!

No, she's not Jewish.

Mom, I'm not trying

to kill you.

Yes, I want you to be alive

to see your grandchildren.

Your Jewish grandchildren,

Mom.

No, I didn't know that

you wanted to be buried in Israel.

Mom, I'm not gonna talk about this

over the phone right now, okay?

I'll see you tomorrow.

I love you, too. Bye.

Hey, Dave.

Hi, D.

Where's Mom?

I told you

to hang it up, Dinah!

Hey, guys.

You left the bathroom light on

this morning.

Jeff Rosenberg's son

got engaged yesterday.

To a speech therapist.

- Hey, boychik.

- Hi, Dad.

We have to talk about

our last phone conversation.

Mom.

It's good to see you, too.

- I'm not kidding around.

- Okay, I can...

I can just tell

that this is gonna be...

some sort of disciplinary action,

not a talk.

All right. We'll be sure

to make it a talk, then.

Now can you help your sister

set the table, please?

Sure.

And take the wine

out of the fridge.

- Has he called yet?

- The next night.

- Nice.

- I know. I'm not used to this.

Did you guys make a plan

to go out again?

He wanted to have dinner

with me tomorrow night.

But I have a flight

early Sunday morning.

When I told him

I had to go to Paris, he goes:

"That's a bit drastic

for a bad date.

"Do you really need

to leave the country?"

- This kid's funny.

- Please don't use that word.

Right, sorry.

He's humorous.

What are you doing?

Drinking.

He's having Scotch.

Mom, I'm 23. It's fine.

What, what, what?

Tomorrow, gonna go to shul,

gonna pray that everybody...

is gonna have a happy...

Dinah, you know,

since you told me about computers...

- Mom, let him finish.

- He's finished.

I've become so...

Then why do you

have to do this?

There are so many other women

that you could go out with.

And I've encouraged you

to branch out...

in any other way that you like,

but just not this.

Why do you have to do this?

What do you mean,

"do this"?

Do what?

Incur the wrath of God?

Why are you getting yourself

into trouble?

I'm not getting married, Mom.

I'm just seeing what's out there.

You make it out like we live in

the Warsaw ghetto.

It's the Upper West Side.

We're strong in numbers here.

So you're still planning on

marrying someone Jewish?

Yes. Sure. Okay?

But then I don't understand

why you need to go down this road.

You may end up

getting hurt for nothing.

Or worse, hurting her.

Don't you value

your culture and your history?

Well, it's not one

or the other, Mom.

But if you're smart enough

to know...

that it makes sense to marry someone

from the same background...

and it does, any of the studies

will show you that...

as far as

the divorce rates go.

Then you should be

smart enough to know...

not to start something

where nothing can come of it.

You're only going

to make a mess.

I can't even believe

what you're saying.

Do you hear

what you're saying?

- What?

- You're a therapist.

You would never tell that

to a patient.

Not true, not true.

I encourage my patients

to have relationships...

within their respective faiths.

It's easier.

I encourage them to go to mosque,

or church, or whatever.

I think religion is...

paramount in a person's life.

Okay, well, yes...

but encouraging them

is different from discouraging them.

And I know that

you draw the line there.

Would you tell one of your patients

not to date someone...

that they don't think

they're gonna marry...

Oh, quit asking me

what I tell my patients.

They're not my children.

How old is she?

- She's 27.

- What?

She's four years

older than you? Oh, David.

Drop it now.

It's only going to end badly.

Maybe if you met her,

you might think...

I'm not going to meet her.

Oh, my God.

Are you out of your mind?

Mom, do you...

You sound like

an after school special.

Don't do this.

I'm doing it.

On your own then.

Hey, what's up, man?

Cool.

Do you need anything or...

No?

- Go on up. She's expecting you.

- Thank you. Give me...

Five? Thumbs up?

Smile? No?

We'll get there.

- Hi.

- Hi.

Come on in.

- Thanks for the soup.

- Yeah.

- It's chicken noodle.

- It's hot.

Wow.

This place is huge.

I'm not even going to ask

what you pay.

I don't want to know.

It's Rothko.

I've never seen this one before.

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