Prince Avalanche Page #5

Sometimes I can do things

that can't really happen.

What does that mean?

I'm impossible.

We should probably get your hips

to the hospital to get a checkup.

My hips are fine.

It was just the shock

when I landed because...

I did fly for 7 seconds.

I was flying and then

I... landed on my side.

But my hip isn't broken. It's just

bruised and beat up and... stupid

And old like me.

Stupid hip.

What's on your face?

Oh. It was supposed

to be war paint.

Heh heh!

Sorry about your watch.

I shouldn't have crushed it.

It was really cool.

I'd also like to apologize

for the way I spoke to you.

I had no right

to insult you like that.

Yeah. Yeah, it's not

such a big deal.

You know, we were just being jerks,

trying to hurt each other's feelings.

I read in a pamphlet back when I

was in school that sometimes,

When you say something ugly

to somebody, you know,

You're really just trying to build your

own self up like... Like you're special.

So when you say

something negative

And insult the other person...

you're really just showing

that other person

What an unsure-Of-Yourself-Type person

that you really feel like you are.

I know.

I read that pamphlet, too.

[CHUCKLES WEAKLY]

You know, I thought

that this...

job would be good

for me to think

About the relationship

I have with Madison.

You know, I thought I

could learn to do better,

That I could figure out

a way to be happy

With my life and still

give her what she needs.

But the distance apart

Gave her the opportunity

to... get scared

Or just...

disappear.

So is it really over?

Seems pretty black

and white to me.

There's another guy.

I talked to her on the phone.

Are you serious?

Is he a foreigner?

Is he that Mexican guy?

Wait. What?

Never mind.

This guy is half

native American.

He goes by B.B.

B.B.?

Yeah.

Calls himself buster brown,

You know, like in buster brown?

He's half native

American, half Italian.

Whoa. Pretty exotic.

Do you know him?

No, but I feel like I do.

She talks about him all the time.

I can't believe I didn't...

god, I could see his face.

She has no idea

what she deserves.

What does she deserve?

Me. Someone who's gonna

wake up early in the morning

And feed the chickens with her,

Who'll proofread her poetry

Or sit in that old chair

that her mom made.

I bet you're the only guy that does that.

No one else.

You think?

No one else!

I bet this new guy

really sucks.

You know, I bet he

hardly even exists.

You know, she's just scared

and he's safe and that's it.

I love her.

That part sucks.

Ha ha!

Were they friends?

No.

He was her chiropractor.

A what?

Chiropractor.

What's that?

What's that?

You don't know what

a chiroprac...

I know, but just remind me?

It's a guy who specializes

in the treatment

And disorder

of the... skeleton.

It's like a masseuse.

Skeletons?

She used to go in

to see to her neck.

Mmm.

She's hooking up with a masseuse.

Gross, Madison.

Disgusting.

[CLINKS BOTTLES TOGETHER TWICE]

The truck driver gave us this.

What?

Yep. Oh!

[SIGHS] He said it'd help you

get through the toughest part.

What do you mean? I told

him how much you liked it,

So he gave us a whole case.

You didn't tell him about

what happened to me, did you?

I mean, you didn't say

anything about it? No.

No, I told him

that you were a prince

That had been... banished from his

kingdom and that you were forced

To work out on the roads

with an old peasant like me.

Go... back

to your old castle.

Oh.

Fart.

Just get drunk for 3 months.

Maybe more.

Maybe someday you can get her back.

I don't know.

I also had a tough weekend

last weekend.

Why, 'cause you

didn't get laid?

Cathy's pregnant.

What?

[SIGHS] Cathy Crosby.

Who's Cathy Crosby?

[GRUNTS]

She's 47.

She's an older lady I

slept with 2 or 3 times.

It was nothing special.

Mom gave me

a post-It on Saturday

And told me I had

to call Cathy...

but I didn't bother.

Then after the beat-Ups on Saturday

night, I thought it might be good

To get at least a little

something, and so I called her.

And then I go over to her place

and she's all dramatic and says

There's no chance

of getting it on

And that she just

wants to talk.

And I'm like...

"Boring. What do you

want to talk about?"

And then she starts

crying, freaking out,

And she tells me

that she's pregnant

And she doesn't know

what to do.

And I'm like,

"what? Is it mine?"

She tells me she hasn't partied

With anybody else for

the last 6 months.

So I tell her that we

can't do this, you know,

She's just gonna have

to get a labortion.

She wasn't supposed to be able

to get pregnant, you know?

She's not fresh anymore.

She's old.

That's the whole point.

[SIGHS]

So I tell her that she has to

take care of the baby by herself

If she wants to keep it.

Don't be an idiot.

This is...

A gift. This is a...

it's the most beautiful thing

that can happen to a person,

Especially...

someone like you.

[SCOFFS]

I'm not ready to be a dad.

Who is?

Nobody's ever ready.

You just... You just...

do, you know?

It's the next step.

It's the...

become a dad.

Deal with it,

you know what I mean?

Some things are gonna be

stinks, all right?

You get no sleep.

But other parts are going to

be the greatest things ever.

[SIGHS]

It's a miracle.

You should be grateful that Madison

already had a kid when you met her.

You should be...

thankful.

Maybe so.

You're a funny fish.

[CHUCKLES]

1...

2...

BOTH:
1, 2, 3!

[GROANS]

Ooh-Hoo-Hoo-Hoo-Hoo-Hoo. Whoo!

BOTH:
# ooh ooh

# ooh ooh

# yeah # oh, yeah

# hear we got

a bad connection #

# bad connection

# don't hang up the line

# don't hang up

# don't, don't hang up

# 'cause we're gonna be fine

# # it's bad connections

# we just need

to open our hands #

# open up # to our brothers

# bad connections

# happening all over

# bad connections

# I can't get dial tone

# the tone

# America from

north and south #

# north and south

# what we need is

to unite... #

[BOTH SINGING GIBBERISH]

# we'll form

a good connection #

# a strong reception

# best reception # no crackle on

the line on the tower poles #

# feeling so fine whoa!

# feeling so fine

1, 2, 3!

# connection and...

# we got a bad connection #

# we got a drunk

connection... #

[DRUNKEN SINGING FADES OUT]

[DISTANT THUNDER]

[RAINFALL]

[MAN AND WOMAN SPEAKING GERMAN

ON GERMAN LANGUAGE TAPE]

WOMAN, ON TAPE:
Yes, it

means "to get to know you."

[ALVIN REPEATING IN

GERMAN] MAN, ON TAPE: 2Q.

[WOMAN SPEAKS GERMAN]

MAN, ON TAPE:
2Q.

[WOMAN SPEAKS GERMAN]

[BOTH REPEAT IN GERMAN]

MAN,ON TAPE:
Pleased to meet you.

[WOMAN SPEAKS GERMAN]

[BOTH REPEATING IN GERMAN]

MAN, ON TAPE:
How are you?

[WOMAN SPEAKS GERMAN]

Now you say,

"how goes it, you?"

[MAN SPEAKS GERMAN]

[WOMAN REPEATS

IN GERMAN]

MAN, ON TAPE:

How are you?

[GERMAN DIALOGUE CONTINUING]

MAN, ON TAPE:

How are you?

[WOMAN SPEAKS GERMAN]

[BOTH REPEATING IN GERMAN]

[CRICKETS CHIRPING]

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