Princess Cyd Page #5

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trouble, the human trouble,

is that we will sacrifice

all the beauty of our lives,

will imprison ourselves

in totems,

taboos, crosses,

blood sacrifices, steeples,

mosques, races,

armies, flags, nations

in order to deny

the fact of death.

The only fact we have.

It seems to me that one ought to

rejoice in the fact of death,

ought to decide indeed

to earn one's death

by confronting with passion

the conundrum of life..."

"We sat looking off across the

country watching the sun go down.

The curly grass about us

was on fire now,

the bark of the oaks

turned red as copper,

there was a shimmer of gold

on the brown river,

out in the stream, the

sandbars glittered like glass

and the light trembled

in the willow thickets

as if little flames

were leaping among them.

The breeze sank

into stillness..."

"His soul swims slowly as he heard the

snow falling faintly through the universe,

and faintly falling like the

descent of their last end

upon all the living

and the dead."

James Joyce, The Dead.

Hmm. Thank you.

- Hey

- What the f***, man?

I was wondering if you wanted to

sit on the bed with me.

It's not that, it's a couch.

Get the f*** out of my room.

- Couch, yeah.

- No, get the f*** out of here.

- Come sit on the couch...

- Tab!

Get out of my room!

I thought I'd share a little bit

of nature from Ralph Waldo Emerson

on this lovely summer evening.

"To speak truly,

few adult persons can see nature

At least they have

a very superficial seeing.

The sun illuminates only

the eye of the man,

but shines into the eye

and the heart of the child.

The lover of nature is he

whose inward and outward senses

are still truly adjusted

to each other;

who has retained the spirit of infancy

even into the era of manhood.

His intercourse with heaven and earth,

becomes part of his daily food.

Crossing a bare common, in snow puddles,

at twilight, under a clouded sky,

without having in my thoughts any

occurrence of a special good fortune,

I have enjoyed

a perfect exhilaration.

I am glad to the brink of fear.

In the woods too,

a man casts off his years,

and at what period

soever of life,

is always a child.

In the woods,

is perpetual youth."

You lost.

It's not about blinking.

- It's about smiling. No smiles.

- Okay, okay, okay, I'll do it again.

That...

That might've been a tie.

- So glad you could come.

- Oh, thank you for having us.

- Wonderful meeting you.

- And you as well, thank you.

And congratulations, I hope

you can come back next month.

- Absolutely. Bye.

- We'll see you there.

- Where's Ridley?

- I think he and the girl are somewhere.

- Oh, good God!

- Well, it happens.

You know, I... I'll go get them.

I'm sorry, um...

- I...

- Cyd?

Yeah?

- Is Ridley in there?

- Yeah.

Ridley, your mothers

are looking for you.

Okay.

- Hi.

- Hey!

- Where'd you disappear to?

- I was upstairs.

I think Aunt Miranda

is mad at me.

She'll get over it.

She was telling me

about your son.

Yeah, he's something else.

She also said

you were technically married.

Oh, you just got the whole

rundown, didn't you?

Uh, true. Um, separated.

We're through

the thick of it though.

You're getting back together?

No, no, no, no, I mean, um,

like through the initial

burst of it all.

Yeah, we're moving forward

and Brandon's been

a real saint about it.

So... maybe once

the dust settles you could...

I mean... would you ever

consider dating Miranda?

Anthony, did you want to take

home those cream cheese things...

- Yeah.

- ...for you and Brandon.

Yeah, let me come in

and grab those.

All right.

And that is Second Friday.

Pretty crazy.

- Did you have fun?

- Yeah.

Everyone was super nice.

Can I help you clean up?

Um, sure, if we can just get

everything in...

this general vicinity.

We can deal with it tomorrow.

I'm pretty exhausted.

Yeah, me too.

I'll check the back porch.

It was cool to hear everybody

read and swap all the stories.

- And you like that?

- Yeah.

I liked that one, uh, story

that that one woman told...

- Um, Cornelia.

- Yeah, was it true?

Probably not.

I liked yours.

- My what?

- That thing you read.

Oh, the part you heard?

Well, there was more.

Yeah, I'm sorry. I...

It's fine...

It is... No, it's okay... It...

No, I don't wanna be

that relative that's...

It's... It's really more

about the smoke.

I just, I don't like it in the

house, and I, it's not...

I'm sorry.

It's okay, really, it's...

- It's fine.

- Okay.

Do you want anything else

before I put this food away?

No, thanks. I'm good.

- Um, I'm gonna call Katie.

- Okay.

Oh, I might... have half a

piece more of Anna May's cake.

You sure you don't want

some cake?

No, thanks.

You know, maybe if you had sex

once in a while,

you wouldn't want

to eat all the time.

I'm really sorry.

That came out super nasty.

Let me just say something

real quick.

- I really am sorry.

- No, no, no, no.

That's okay but I need you

to listen to me, okay?

Yeah, I wish that I could...

I could share with you

the utter joy it brings me

to spend three hours

on a Saturday afternoon reading

Emerson or Melville

or Virginia Woolf...

or discussing T. S. Elliot

or James Baldwin

with a dear friend until dawn.

The fulfillment that I get

from going to church,

from reading theology, from

reading science, from praying...

but I can't... because I am me

and you are you.

I can't relate to you

the total fulfillment

that I get from these things.

It's impossible.

I know...

And I understand,

you're finding your own joy.

You're engaging your own stuff,

that's great.

That's how it should be

and it's a beautiful thing.

But hear me.

It is not a handicap...

to have one thing

but not another.

To be one way and not another.

We are different shapes and ways

and our happiness is unique.

There are no rules of balance.

- I'm sorry...

- Don't be sorry.

But I got a quarter of a century

on you, Cyd.

So, let's just...

enjoy ourselves.

Okay? Let's just thank...

respect each other's selves.

Hey, stop talking.

I guess I just feel like...

Are we done in here? 'Cause I

really need to be done in here.

Did you get all the bottles?

- Yeah, everything's cleared.

- Okay, thank you for helping.

- I'm gonna go upstairs.

- Okay.

Miranda!

You don't have to come. I'll

just call you when I get out.

No, I'm coming.

Uh, she wanted me to text her,

not to buzz her.

Okay.

Oh, hi, sweetheart.

Are you okay?

I'm sorry. I didn't mean...

Let us in.

Are you okay?

Um... He finally passed out.

- What happened to his nose?

- I punched him.

I'm sorry to make you come over.

I feel so stupid.

Don't be silly. Are you okay?

- Yeah.

- Katie?

Are you okay?

- Yeah.

- Did he hurt you?

I... tried to go out and

he wouldn't let me leave.

He was acting really weird.

I don't want him to wake up.

You can probably go, it's fine.

No, you should go get your things.

You're gonna come with us.

What the f***?

Cyd...

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