Private Number

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1

Come on, buddy.

You did this once.

You can do it again.

All right.

Hey, babe!

Hey, punkin patch!

How you doing?

Look at you in that dress

and those shoes and that face.

Mm.

Come here.

Come here.

How's things going

at the, uh, boutique?

Good. We, uh...

I got the mannequins in today.

Oh, yeah?

I'm still waiting on

the display tables,

and the handyman needs to

fix the bathrooms.

Oh, yeah, speaking of handymen.

You didn't fix the door?

I didn't fix the door.

What, do you turn to the

right or the left?

Kick it.

You really need

to fix this door.

Attagirl!

Soon it's not gonna open at all.

I got it.

How'd the writing go today?

Good. Good, yeah.

Uh, I think

I made a breakthrough.

Great.

I can't wait to read it.

Um, whose turn is it

to do the dishes?

I got 'em.

Good.

Gonna get some afternoon sun.

Okay.

That's a lot of dishes.

Oh, sh*t.

Sorry. I didn't mean

to interrupt.

I just wanted to tell you

that I love you.

I love you, too, baby.

All right. Well, I don't

wanna distract you.

I'm gonna go get ready.

Okay.

Wanna join me?

Now?

I just finished my makeup!

You can do it again.

In 20 minutes?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You just don't wanna

share the shower with me because

you're a water Nazi.

Well, that's true.

But you know what?

They are gonna be here

in 20 minutes,

so you need to hurry up.

I'm a man.

I can be ready in five.

I'm so glad we're

having people over.

I was beginning to feel like we

were becoming my parents.

You think I'm your dad?

That's pretty creepy, babe.

Oh, I mean,

you know what I mean.

We used to go out with

couples all the time.

Now I'm so busy at the boutique,

and you're constantly in

front of the computer,

and at night we just

come home and collapse.

You know what?

Life is gonna pass us by,

and one day we're gonna wake up

and realize that we missed it.

So tonight, let's just have fun.

Deal?

No talk about work.

No.

I can't argue with you

in that dress.

Mm.

You'll mess up my makeup.

Mm-hmm.

So I gotta ask.

Like, whose idea was the bowtie?

The matching?

Who do you think?

I am just so awful to these two.

I don't know how

they put up with me.

It's totally forgiven as long

as you don't have

the matching Christmas pictures

with everyone in the same color.

You know what I mean?

Actually, I was thinking...

How did you know, Michael?

Reindeer sweaters for everyone.

So a whole year?

Yeah, a whole year.

Not a drop, man.

Not even cough syrup.

Yeah, and, uh, that is next.

Yes, it is. Yes, it is.

Now you need to learn to eat

like a big boy already,

because you are

a big boy, Mason.

Oh, I'm sorry, Kat.

I'll help you clean this up.

It's fine.

Um, so, Michael,

tell us about the new book.

We've heard so much about it.

I gotta tell you,

it's kicking my butt,

but I'm trouping through.

Good.

Well, I love "Knight Fire,"

so if you ever need anyone to

give this version a read,

I'm your woman.

Yeah, good luck with that.

He doesn't even let me read it.

Yeah, top secret,

mm-hmm.

No way. It would

drive me absolutely nuts

if Bill was working on something

this big and kept it from me.

Well, I can't wait

till it's ready.

She means it.

She tells all her friends

she knows the guy who wrote

that "Knight" book.

Really?

Yeah.

Aww, thank you.

Yeah.

Then she asks why

I can't be a writer, so...

You could be a writer, man.

No. I don't know the first

thing about writing.

I didn't know how to write a

book until I wrote a book.

I still don't know

how to write a book.

Make it up as you go along.

So is this new one a

continuation of the last one?

Kind of.

Same main characters.

Oh, so question

of the evening...

s the Knight coming back?

The Knight is

coming back, yes. Yes.

Yay. He makes it so much fun.

What a great character.

Thank you.

Everybody likes the Knight.

Toast. Toast.

Sounds good.

To friendship.

To friendship.

Cheers.

Cheers.

I'd make a great mommy.

Wouldn't our daughter

be adorable?

Are you coming to bed?

Coming.

What are you doing?

I, uh...

I thought I heard something.

Did you set the alarm?

Yeah.

God, thinking of

hearing something,

I keep having this dream

where something's

whispering in my ear,

and I think I understand 'em.

And then I wake up, and I have

no idea what they were saying.

That's odd, huh?

Yeah, that's weird.

Well, I'm off to bed.

Don't be long.

Okay.

So when will you be

finished with your book?

I don't know, baby.

A month just to finish

the first draft,

and then there's editor's notes

and publisher's notes

and notes notes and...

Takes forever to finish a book.

Yeah, tell me about it.

I wanna be Stephen King.

I wanna write, like, 12 a week.

That's nice.

Does that feel good?

Yeah, that feels really good.

Come here.

You are so beautiful.

You know that?

You are so beautiful.

I wanna feel you.

I want you inside me.

I wanna have your baby.

What? Is that

what this is about?

Can't you see

that that's what I want?

Can we not talk

about this right now?

Well, when can we talk about it?

W-We've talked about this

a hundred times.

Look, I'm...

I'm almost 37 years old.

I mean, most of my friends

are on their second

or third kid by now.

I mean, every single day

that we wait

is another day that we don't get

to spend with our child.

Like, can't we just...

have a little faith that...

Just let me finish my book!

That's all, and then we

can talk about family.

That's what you said about me

opening my boutique.

Now what's the real reason?

Why are you pulling away?

That's the real reason!

I-I'm under pressure!

I want to finish my book!

F*** you!

You know what the real

f***ing reason is!

Yeah?

What's the real reason?

You're not attracted to me!

What do you...

You f***ing want

some 18-year-old?

You want some f***ing stupid

f***ing young chick?

Am I too old for you?

What? Oh, my God.

Because then you could just wait

for 20 more years!

Why can't you just

give me what I want?

Good night.

You know,

I thought after three years,

you would have grown up!

Wednesday, 2:
44 A.M.

Remember me?

End of messages.

Hello, old chap.

Long time, no see. Heh.

I've missed

our tittle-tattles.

Aww.

Trouble with the missus, eh?

Not to worry.

Belly up to the bar, mate.

Cheers to one year of

sobriety and many more.

Couldn't have done it

without you, baby.

Look, I'm... I'm really sorry

about the other night.

It's just seeing

Bill and Mary's son...

Baby, stop.

I would probably be dead

or in the gutter

if you hadn't have dried me out,

so as far as I'm concerned,

there isn't

an 18-year-old

in the world

that could take your place.

I love you, baby.

I love you, too.

To us.

Hey, I wanted

to give this to you.

It's a big-shot literary agent

my friend told me about.

Macmillan?

Baby, this is like

a Big Six company.

I mean, "Knight Fire" did okay,

but it wasn't

a best seller. I'm not...

I'm not ready for this.

Ohh. Come on, babe.

Don't be so hard on yourself.

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