Private Number

Attention please!

I have an announcement to make that

concerns you all.

Mrs. Winfield is returning from

Europe today.

As you all know, that means I shall expect

even greater efficiency from the staff.

Any one of you who shows a lack of

respect.. or discipline..

.. in the performance of duty,

shall be instantly dismissed.

Fix your tie.

Er, yes sir.

It might be better if you'd spend less time

trying to make an impression on the maids.

And more time putting a polish

on your boots.

Is that a button loose on your tunic?

No sir.

Go an sew it on! At once.

Yes, sir.

Straighten your cap.

Your apron needs pressing.

And your hair is most untidy.

Anything else?

For that remark, your wages will be docked.

If there are any humorous comments to

be made around here, I shall make them.

Go and straighten your hair.

Well.

You're certainly a splendid

addition to the staff.

Look at your boots. Have you ever tried

pressing your trousers?

And what's this?

Oh.

Apparently, you think you can

eat your soup and have it too.

It's only my kindness of heart.

That keeps a man on here

after he's outlived his usefulness.

That's all. Dismissed.

Ha!

Now that you've finished your

"German Army" inspection.

Maybe I could have these girls

shell a few peas.

Are you addressing yourself to me?

I ain't addressing nobody else.

It's trouble enough trying to get dinner

for sixteen people tonight.

Without you covering up my kitchen with

your maneuvers

Why don't hire a parade-ground and

get a band?

Mrs. Frisbey, I warn you.

And I warn you:
keep out of my kitchen!

Oh dear, oh dear. This breakage will

cost you something.

Let me see. Six large..

There's something else I'm going to break

around here, and it might be your neck.

Four small plates, four saucers

and two cups.

[bird noises]

Shut up.

[door buzzer]

Looking for somebody?

Yes, I heard there was a job open as

a housemaid.

Oh, I'm afraid you're too late honey,

all the places have been filled.

Oh.

Oh, I'm sorry. I came as quickly as I could.

You see, I had to walk from the end

of the car line.

Walk?

Yeah.

Why, that's a three-mile hike.

Why didn't you take the bus

from the car-line?

I uh... I didn't have the bus-fare.

Oh.. well come on in.

Say, any dame that had walked that far

deserves a medal or something.

Here.. sit down.

Oh thanks.

Oh.. gee I'm tired.

So am I.

Say, it's no cinch around here..

.. doing upstairs work and taking

Mrs. Winfield's pet poodle for an airing.

Besides being chamber-maid to the

silly parrot and three canaries.

I wish His Nibs would put you on

just to help me.

His Nibs?

Oh that's Wroxton, the butler. He does

all the hiring and firing around here.

Oh, you know I really need a job.

I haven't a cent.

Gosh, that's tough.

Say, wait a minute. I'll see what I can do.

Hello, hello, hello. Who have we here?

Hello.

You don't mean to tell me you're

going to work here?

Oh, I hope so.

Well I hope so too. You know the maids

around here are not much to look at.

How many maids are there?

Five. Not counting madam's personal maids.

How long have you been here?

Oh, about a year.

It's a nice place too. That is, if you

can get along with His Nibs.

Is he very difficult?

Oh, you won't have any trouble.

Not with your looks.

Okay kid, I think I've got it all

fixed for you.

Oh you're awfully nice to do this.

Oh skip it.

Now remember one thing. In a house

like this, the butler thinks he's a king.

Treat him like one.

Alright.

Good luck.

Close the door.

Sit down.

You're quite young, aren't you?

Yes.

That's really no disadvantage.

Have you any references?

Yes.

I see you come from Pleasant Town.

Yes.

How long have you been in New York?

About.. two weeks.

"Reverend H. J. Trumbleigh. "

Did you work for him?

Oh no. He was the pastor at our

church back home.

Now, what's this?

"Pleasant Town Business College"?

I completed a course there in

shorthand and typing.

Ha, ha.

Do you mean you've never been in service?

No.. but I'm very good at housework.

Really I am.

I employ only experienced help.

Oh.

But in your case, I.. well I suppose

I could make an exception.

You seem bright. Going to start you

off as an upstairs maid.

Your wages are seventy-five

dollars a month.

But you will be paid sixty.

You understand?

I allow one evening a week off,

and every other Sunday.

You.. you mean I'm hired?

I'll give you a month's trial.

Thank you.

Oh one thing more.

As long as you are in this house..

.. you will be responsible only to me.

Is that clear?

Yes sir.

And if you make yourself "adaptable"..

.. we shall get along quite well I think.

Thank you.

Hey! Hey, wait a minute! How'd you make out?

Alright. But I couldn't work here.

That butler... ooh, he gives me the creeps.

Hey, now wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Well look, really I appreciate

you're trying but..

.. oh I can't.

Oh now relax. Let me tip you off.

If you're going if for this sort of work, there's

a lot of things you'll have to put up with.

But I don't like that man.

Who does! Why his own mother

wouldn't speak to him.

But don't worry, he won't bother you.

I'll run interference for you.

Now, what do you say?

Oh.

You're awfully nice to do all this for me.

Oh, just a girl-scout at heart.

By the way, what are your wages?

Why that's something I didn't understand.

He said they'd pay me seventy-five

a month, but that I was to get sixty.

Oh sure, you're kicking fifteen a month

to him. That's his cut.

Say, how do you think these

butler's get rich?

They take a percentage on everything

that's bought for the house..

.. from flowers to fish.

Fish. That reminds me. I have to phone

my boyfriend.

Come on.

Oh Wroxton.

Yes, madam?

They'll be two more for dinner tonight.

That makes eighteen.

Be sure every thing's in perfect order.

Yes madam.

Hello gorgeous.

Hello.

These are for madam

Thanks. I'll take them right up to her.

Say, you're new aren't you?

Well, I'm not old.

I haven't seen you before.

And I don't miss much.

Is that so?

What's your night off?

Tonight.

Swell. How about a dance tonight?

I'll let you know tomorrow.

Come here, sweetness.

Hey, wait a minute!

Enough of that!

Go on. Get out of here!

Listen, I'm not taking any orders from you.

When you're in this house,

you're in my territory.

Oh yeah?

Possibly, you have forgotten that

little incident?

The night you took the town car without

permission, and smashed it up.

Go on. Get out!

Oh Ellen.

Yes, sir?

In future, if any of the staff annoy

you, report it to me.

Very good sir,

The point is, I will not tolerate any

misconduct whatsoever.

Oh, by the way, Ellen. Come here.

I'm not at all satisfied with the way

my room is being done.

I think I should like you to look after it.

Oh Mr. Wroxton, I'd..

I'd rather not do your room.

But my dear child.

If one is in service it is not a question

of what one would rather do.

It's a question of what one must do.

If one wishes to continue working.

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