Private School

1

"Her nipples now so erect they

seemed to reach out for him.

"Then in one quick movement,

he took her full inside his mouth."

Listen to this.

Hey, guys, wait for me.

Hi, Sharon. Hi, Jan.

Come on, hurry up.

We're gonna miss them.

They're gonna be

dressed already. Come on!

"Never had she wanted a man this much.

"Her longing swelled

from deep inside her."

Come on, Bubba, I

can't hold you forever!

Come on, Bubba, we can't

hold you much longer!

Okay.

Bubba!

Hey! Oh, Bubba.

I got... I got one!

That way. Move it, chump. That way!

Move it. Move it.

Come on, get over that way.

Move it, get over there.

"She felt as if she'd been pierced to

the very soul by a bolt of lightning."

Betsy, listen to this.

"And then, just then, he

raised himself up above her

"and plunged his fullness

into her waiting..."

Can you believe this?

Hello, Chrissie, darling.

Betsy!

Hi, Jordan.

Is anything wrong?

Wrong?

Quick, she's going into the room.

- Not at all.

I just can't get

dressed for the big event

till my roommate finishes

ironing my blouse!

Well, do you wanna

borrow something of mine?

You can't be serious.

I mean, that's very sweet of you,

Chrissie, but I couldn't possibly.

Tell me, do you have any

of that gaudy nail polish?

I wanna do my toes.

I just don't feel dressed

till my toes are done.

What's this color called?

Naked pink.

Look at her picture.

Hey, Bubba, you all right?

Thanks for the nail polish, Chrissie.

Where you going?

To the stables.

She's given us so much horseshit,

it's only fair we give some back.

Christine Ramsay makes me sick.

If I have to spend one more

night watching her and Jim Green

slobber all over each other,

I think I'm gonna scream.

It sounds like maybe

you're a little jealous.

Jealous?

I could have Jim in a minute!

That's some big horse.

Oh, God. Excuse me.

Oh, gross, Betsy, that stinks!

It sure does.

You've gotta let me light it.

You've gotta let me light it.

Fire! Fire! Fire!

This is embarrassing. Just try this.

Here.

Hi.

Hi.

Come on.

Do you wanna dance?

Do you wanna dance?

No.

Do you wanna dance?

Hi.

Good evening.

Really!

For those of you who

do not know who I am,

I am the headmistress here at

Cherryvale, Prudence Dutchbok.

Good old Miss Douchebag!

I would like to take this opportunity

to welcome some very special guests.

The outstanding ladies of the

Cherryvale Building Committee.

A round of applause.

Largely due to their generosity,

we will soon have our new wing.

I would also like to

welcome our neighbors,

the young men from the

Freemount Academy for Men.

And now, all you boys and girls

have a grand and glorious time.

Would it be like that?

Like in that book, I mean?

Oh, no, of course not.

It wouldn't?

No, I mean, it would be.

It would be just exactly like the book.

Well, okay, then,

maybe we should try it.

Really?

Do you really wanna do it? All right!

Look, Chris, this isn't something

you just jump into, you know?

I mean, I wouldn't want you to do anything

you're not totally ready for or anything.

What do you mean?

Well, it's just that it's such

a big step and everything and...

I love you, Jim.

I love you, too, Chris.

You're perfect, you know that?

Yeah, I guess I am.

I'm telling you. The closer

he gets the bigger it gets.

Peter, this is Miss Birdie Fallmouth.

Hello, Peter.

And next is Christian, Miss Fallmouth.

Aren't any of you young

gentlemen going to stand up?

Your name?

Oh, I'm Roy, ma'am.

Hi, Roy.

And this is Bubba Beauregard.

Pleasure to meet you, ma'am.

She's such a nothing.

I absolutely don't understand

what he sees in her.

I'd like to see you get

a guy as good as Jim.

Why not Jim?

You couldn't. He's in love with Chris.

Chris is no competition.

Tomorrow in riding class

I begin my campaign.

Coach Whelan, may I see you a moment?

I wonder if you would

keep an eye on our girls

while I show the ladies the

drawings of the new wing?

Certainly, Miss Dutchbok.

Good, good, good.

Ladies? I think these drawings

will take your breath away.

Young man!

Illegal use of the hands.

Right this way to my office, ladies.

Hey, Douchebag's office.

And the new wing.

Douchebag Hall.

I have to warn you, I like a lot of,

whatchamacallit, foreplay.

Is that enough?

I guess so.

And now, ladies, if you

will. My office. Come, please.

The marvelous renderings of the new

wing, which in your generosity and...

Good morning, girls, and attention.

This is Miss Dutchbok speaking.

And you know the morning exercises...

Good afternoon, class.

I know how much you've

been looking forward

to today's lessons of the

mechanics of sexual intercourse.

Too many people are

embarrassed or ashamed

about the very natural

act of sexual intercourse.

Come right in.

Go right ahead with your

class, Miss Copuletta.

We'll just stand here for a tiny moment.

Yes, of course, Miss

Dutchbok. Thank you.

Now then, during sexual intercourse,

the male undergoes

certain biological changes

which cause his organ to become erect.

Now, after a short length of time, the

male organ releases its fertile cargo...

Thank you very much, Miss

Copuletta. That was very stimulating.

Come, ladies, let's

... Let's go to lunch.

We have a lovely lunch in the

cafeteria. We're having chicken.

Miss Copuletta?

Which do you think is the

most important in a penis,

length or width?

Well, I don't think that we have

the time to get into that today.

What, is she kidding?

I mean, we don't have the

time today to talk about that.

Now, we are going to see a short film

called The Tadpole and His Community.

Rita, take care of the blinds, please.

Hello, Hotel D'Amour? I'd

like to make a weekend, please.

I mean, I'd like to reserve a

reservation for a weekend in your hotel.

A week from Friday.

It's Mrs. Christine Rams... Jones.

No, not Rams-Jones, just Jones.

What if they wanna see your

driver's license or something?

Listen, it seems that I was wrong

about the name. It's not Jones, it's ...

Should I use my name or his? Yours.

Ramsay. Mrs. Christine... His. Use his!

Green!

Ramsay is my married name and

Green is my professional name.

Jones was my mother's maiden name.

But, I'm a graphic designer

and I really am married,

so that's pretty much my story. Goodbye.

How was I?

Terrific.

I made the reservation at the Hotel

D'Amour. The weekend after next.

That's where my parents

stayed on their honeymoon.

God, this is gonna be

wonderful. So perfect.

Don't you think?

Don't you?

Of course I do. Why do you say that?

It just seemed like you were

beginning to have some doubts.

Me? Doubts? What, are you kidding me?

Well, that's good, at least

one of us won't be nervous.

Nervous? What's there

to be nervous about?

Oh, oh, no! Oh! Do you see what I see?

Jordan, dear.

Surprise!

Go get her, Bubba!

That is the finest example of

bareback riding I've ever seen.

I'll get them. I'll get them.

No, really, I'll go in and buy them.

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