Problemos Page #3

---

It's not here.

It's a pandemic, Maeva!

God f***ing dammit!

How can you have a cell phone

and not even have noticed?

Cool it.

I don't use news sites!

She's a total idiot!

Maeva, you're on social media!

She sounds a million years old.

Lady Shakespeare!

Listen up. First of all,

everyone keep calm.

Stay level-headed.

And second...

we have to see

what's going on outside.

At least in Lantenay.

Why not Montlimar?

So who's coming with me?

- Me. I'm coming.

- No, Victor.

You have a child here. A daughter.

Me too.

I'm coming.

You're sterile, so you can come.

Your sandwich, doudou.

And water.

Water. How adorable.

And drinkable.

- Your coat?

- Yes, my camo coat.

It's all fine.

Are you sure?

It's very dangerous!

I'm sure it is, but they insisted.

I guess I'm indispensable.

Guys! I'm not inside!

F***... I see.

Oops... a problem.

Problemos.

Okay, I'll go.

Sir! Sir!

So many dead people!

Guys!

There are tons of... a ton... tons of...

lots of dead people on the road.

What?

Guys!

- He may be contaminated.

- We can't just go.

Back up.

- What are you doing?

- We can't go!

Don't be silly!

I'm not contaminated.

F***!

- F***!

- He's not moving!

Sh*t!

Back up!

Weren't you supposed to be laughing?

Yeah, but they just went to Lantenay.

Maybe it's fine in Montlimar.

Some GUYS

who breathed in pesticides

and fainted by the road...

It's the end of the world,

see you in the afterlife.

You'll see,

all your friends will be there.

Love and friendship,

stronger than the plague'.!

From "The Voice".

Last week was the Apocalypse show.

Unbelievable!

How long have you known?

I wasn't thinking.

I didn't get their tsunami

"Stop the Wave" show either.

I have a life, girl.

Maybe we could have done something.

You're not even on Facebook.

Done what? A human chain?

Maeva's right.

What would knowing have changed?

We couldn't make a vaccine here.

Vaccines are toxic!

Big Pharma makes them to weaken us.

I never got vaccinated,

never got sick.

Some blood in my poop,

an itchy cough,

a little dizziness,

shingles once in a while,

heart pain when I pee,

but that's all.

So...

I think the first thing to do

is to start, all together,

the mourning process.

We can organize funerals.

That's so Babylonian.

What do you want to do?

I don't know, but I'm going to sleep.

Coming, honey?

Me too.

Me too.

Patrice was a brave guy.

And a beautiful person.

You can be proud.

You know,

he's the one who wanted to go.

He really insisted.

We all said:
"No, don't go!"

You know him... So stubborn!

Patrick was a brave guy.

Patrice.

His name was Patrice!

Yeah! Doudou!

What a dude, Doudou.

Everyone, get up!

Rise and shine!

Everyone, up!

What a stench!

It's amazing.

- Look!

- What?

Can't you see?

What?

The world... the new world!

What the hell?

- You woke us for nothing?

- Try to understand.

It's up to us to rebuild the world.

With our rules,

our principles about sharing,

love, respect.

This is our chance to create

a society of equals.

Our life-long dream

is finally becoming true!

Jean-Paul is right!

It's the first day of our world.

Since it's the first, is it Monday?

It's Thursday.

Let's start with a holiday.

Staying in bed is very symbolic!

Dylan is right.

If we decide that today is Monday,

today is Monday!

Aren't those names Babylonian?

Yes, very Babylonian.

So what day is today?

We can decide that...

Today...

Today is Oonday.

So today is Oonday the first?

Babylonian numbers?

Changing everything may get complicated.

Everything must change.

Let's say that today is Oonday...

the krisken.

Oonday the krisken.

The krisken of what month?

Tarkoon.

Oonday the krisken of Tarkoon.

First day of our world!

Write it down before we forget.

All I want to say is that

from now on,

we start living as we wish.

Healing the earth

of the suffering we inflicted on it.

And living in peace and harmony.

Bravo, Jean-Paul!

Bravo, Jean-Paul.

ACT II:

"Tonight you don't sleep in the tent!"

Let's get back to the topic

of no room in the tent.

It's the main topic of this meeting!

This isn't a meeting.

It's a circle of free speech.

Meet next Oonday

with your accountant.

I didn't have an accountant.

You're laughing?

You know Jean-Pierre, my tax attorney.

"Blanchard, let's have a meeting."

I worked

while you lived off the system!

Listen to Gaya.

We can discuss sleeping arrangements.

I always said I'd share my bag.

Right, Dylan?

- You offered to.

- And?

Victor, you can share my bag too.

It's voluntary, not required.

I'm not volunteering.

Simon!

You finally decide to drop by.

Are circles of free speech optional?

I don't think so.

I bet you have another excuse.

I'm sorry, Jean-Paul,

but I found this in the forest.

I thought we might be able

to use these utensils.

Great! Can we get back

to the topic of sleeping bags?

You're blocking my sun!

Enough, already!

You looked in the garbage?

Gross!

Yeah, it's a little gross.

I found it in a dump.

Hold on!

Maybe you walked on a needle.

He's contaminated!

Contaminated with what?

The pandemic kills immediately.

I'd be dead.

He's right. You're acting dumb.

Stay real.

Everything's fine. Calm down.

He's okay.

Thanks for talking sense into them...

Watch out!

Everyone, calm down.

However, maybe a short quarantine,

just to play it safe,

for you and for us,

would be good.

Yeah, Simon.

As you wish. No problem at all.

I couldn't care less... Later.

Thanks, Simon!

But Simon... this is just temporary.

You can come back late Kushkoon?

They're the future of humankind.

Like Adam and Eve.

But it will be hard for two girls

to perpetuate humankind.

The child is a girl?

Yeah.

No?

I have no idea.

Corinne!

Is the child a boy or a girl?

We don't know.

Like with the first name,

the child will choose its gender.

Gaya doesn't want to impose.

So we don't know.

Mother Earth will decide.

All right.

- Mom! Mom!

- What is it, honey?

The child hit me.

Why did you do that?

What happened?

She said "It's mine."

Come here, tranny boy!

Chill out and stop laying down the law.

Get lost.

Are you okay, honey?

What's this?

Where was this?

Under Shaman's hammock

where he hides his bottles.

This is Claude's.

I'M HUNGRY

Claude is a bum.

Okay-

It's no big deal.

We exclude no one.

- Who said exclude?

- I say we exclude skunks!

It reeks in the tent.

I didn't know it bothered you.

I thought it was his shaman herbs!

Shamanic stench is magical.

"Herbes de Provence."

But poor people stench is pungent.

The smell of piss... Really!

- You're right.

- You agree.

We're not exaggerating.

They sh*t their pants.

They have no choice.

I'm not judging.

He grosses me out.

And he's Asian too.

You gave me an energizing massage

totally naked!

"Energizing" was your word.

I thought you wanted to f***.

You abused my confidence!

You called me "shaman".

Means jackshit to me!

You were dancing

like you were possessed!

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes