Pump Up the Volume
- R
- Year:
- 1990
- 102 min
- 1,693 Views
You ever get the feeling
that everything in America...
is completely f***ed up?
You know that feeling?
The whole country is one inch
away from saying...
"That's it! Forget it!"
Think about it.
Everything's polluted--
the environment, the government,
the schools-- you name it.
Speaking of schools...
I was walking the hallowed halls
the other day...
and I asked myself...
"Is there life
after high school...
"because I can't face
tomorrow...
"let alone a whole year
of this sh*t."
Yeah, you got it, folks.
It's me again
with a little attitude...
for all you out here
in white-bread land...
all you nice people...
livin' in the middle
of America the beautiful.
Let's see, we're on 92 FM...
and it feels like a nice,
clean little band so far.
No one else is using it
and the price is right.
And, yes, folks, you guessed it.
Tonight, I'm as horny
as a ten-peckered owl...
so stay tuned
because this is Hard Harry...
reminding you to eat
your cereal with a fork...
and do your homework
in the dark.
Hey! Gimme that.
Hey, man, let me see that.
Give it on over here.
He played Ice-T on this tape.
Great. Plays Ice- and talks about his dick.
Nah, man.
Ice-T shreds on this.
I heard it last night.
Mr. Chavez? Luis Chavez?
Yes, just for a second.
All right, so I'll pick you up
after yearbook?
OK, Dad.
And no big dates tonight.
Be well-rested
for your history exam tomorrow.
- OK.
- Yo, Paige!
Any time, anywhere, beautiful.
Mr. Paige.
Miss Paige Woodward arriveth.
So rich, so smart...
So perfect.
Cheryl, good to see you.
Gonna see the principal
this morning, huh?
Mr. Murdock, can you tell me
what this is about?
We'll see.
Excuse me, Mrs. Creswood.
Check this out.
What is it?
It's this guy.
He's got a pirate
radio station on the air.
His name is
"Happy Harry Hard-on."
He's a total sex maniac.
Of course.
at 10:
00.Down to business.
I got my Wild Cherry
Diet Pepsi...
and I got my Blackjack gum here.
And I got that feeling.
Yeah, that familiar feeling...
that something rank
is going down out there.
Yeah, I can smell it.
I can almost taste it--
the rankness in the air.
It's everywhere.
It's running through
that old pipeline out there...
trickling along
that dumb concrete river...
and coming up
through the drains...
we all live in.
So who is he?
He goes to Humphrey.
I mean, I don't know.
Everywhere I look,
it seems everything is sold-out.
They say this is where
the reception is the coolest.
Then he probably lives
right around here.
F***in' yuppies.
My dad sold out...
and my mom sold out years ago
when she had me.
And then they sold me out...
when they brought me
to this hole in the world.
Hey, they made me
everything I am today...
so, naturally,
I hate the bastards.
Speaking of which...
I'm running a contest...
on the best way to put them
out of their miseries.
Tonight,
we have number twelve...
of one hundred things
to do with your body...
when you're all alone.
Now, are you ready
for the incredible sound...
of Hard Harry
coming on his own face?
Oh, my God.
It's very possible, you know?
Are you listening to this?
Yeah, of course I'm listening.
Guy's gotta have hair
coming out of his palms.
This is a champion one.
Oh. There. Yeah.
Are you listening?
- Yeah, I'm going blind.
- He's doing it.
So unreal.
Oh, my God.
This...
Yes, Hard Harry
will go to any length to keep...
his three listeners glued
with ooey blooey to the radios.
But the question is,
how far will you go?
I mean, how far can you go...
to amaze and disgust
the insatiable Hard Harry, huh?
I mean, how serious are you?
Hi, beautiful.
You know
what I can't figure out?
How you manage
to get such great grades...
and you listen to that radio
all night, you know?
Tomorrow, don't forget--
Yale interview.
And I don't want you
to look too sleepy, you know?
Good night, sweetie.
Got a lot of letters
here, guys.
Here. "Dear Hard Harry...
"my boyfriend
won't talk to me anymore.
"How do I show him
that I really love him?"
Look, I don't know anything...
about these letters
asking for love advice.
lf I knew anything about love...
I would be out there
making it...
instead of sitting in here
talking to you guys.
No. Just send me stuff
at Box 2710...
U.S.A. Mail, Paradise Hills,
Arizona, 84012.
Reply is guaranteed.
"Dear Harry...
"I think you're boring
and obnoxious...
"and have a high opinion
of yourself."
Of course, some of you
are probably thinking...
I sent this from myself.
"I think school is OK
if you just look at it right.
"I mean, I like your music...
"but I really
just don't see why...
"you can't be cheerful
for one second."
I'll tell you, since you asked.
I just arrived
in this stupid suburb.
I have no friends...
no money...
no car...
no license.
And even if I did
have a license...
all I could do is drive out
to some stupid mall.
Maybe if I'm lucky...
play some f***in' video games,
smoke a joint, and get stupid.
You see,
there's nothing to do anymore.
Everything decent's been done.
All the great themes
have been used up...
turned into theme parks.
So I don't really find it
exactly cheerful...
to be living in the middle of
a totally exhausted decade...
where's there's nothing
to look forward to...
and no one to look up to.
That was deep.
Oh, no. Not again.
The creature stirs.
Oh, God, I think
it's gonna be a gusher.
This is the sixth time
in an hour.
Oh, God.
He sounds like
a chronic masturbator.
He prides himself on it.
See? I have to take care of it.
Or else I'm going to explode.
Oh, my God, this is the biggest.
Whoa, Nellie! Whoa!
God! I'm gonna explode!
Oh, take cover, Arizona!
Here l--
Any time now, man.
Oh, God.
Oh, God, it's the best.
Oh, God, yeah.
Free at last.
I'm beat. I'm whipped.
Quittin' time.
Gotta recuperate.
There he goes.
Sometimes he's on
for five minutes...
sometimes he's on
for five hours.
That's my man.
God, I feel
so out of touch here.
Honey, we didn't move out here
to stay in touch.
Then why did we move out here?
Because
it's a nice place to live.
I'm making good money...
and I'm the youngest
school commissioner...
in the history of Arizona.
Brian, you know what?
The man I married loved
his work, not power and money.
That's all right.
I still love my work.
And I love power and money.
When you were
young radical Brian...
you were always fighting
against the system...
and now you are the system.
Now I am the system, yeah.
Is that a beer?
Sure.
Have you noticed
his behavior lately?
What about him?
He's just so unhappy here.
I'll go talk to him.
What's up?
I was just looking
for some stamps.
Oh, fine. I got some right here.
Going to send a letter to
one of your friends back east?
No. I thought I might send away
for an inflatable date.
You know, one of these days...
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"Pump Up the Volume" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 23 Dec. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/pump_up_the_volume_16366>.
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