Queen of the Lot

1

(ROARING)

Oh my gosh,

another one's starting.

You wish upon a star

(LAUGHING)

Makes no difference

who you are

(LAUGHING)

'Cause Margie Chizek's

going to be a star

AUNT BEE:
Oh, sweetie.

MAGGIE:
Norma Shearer,

she's queen of the lot.

I'm gonna be queen of the lot

like Norma Shearer.

Queen of the lot,

that's right sweetie.

("YOU OUGHT TO BE

IN PICTURES" PLAYS)

FEMALE NEWSREADER: Fiery redhead

comedienne action star,

Maggie Chase, famous for her

high octane Red Wrecker series,

was arrested Saturday on her

second offense of drunk driving

in two weeks.

While known for

her action flicks,

it looks like the only thing

Maggie will be kicking

is herself while she's under

house arrest.

Lucky for her,

she won't be alone.

Her current beau,

the sizzling Dov Lambert,

is taking a break before

starting his next blockbuster,

- slated to begin production...

- (CAMERA CLICKING)

...just after Christmas.

We'll keep you up to date

on both stars

as the stories roll in.

(NEWS THEME MUSIC)

FEMALE NEWSREADER 2: It may be

one of the biggest risks

facing the U.S. Housing Market.

- (PHONE BEEPING)

- One in four Americans now...

Kaz?

It's Margie.

- Hi.

- (CAMERA CLICKING)

Listen, can I come stay

with you guys for a little bit?

There's photographers here,

they're outside all the time.

Please can I just

stay with you guys?

I... (SIGHS)

Okay, I'm gonna

come tomorrow, okay?

Just a couple of days.

Are you sure Caeser won't care?

Okay.

Love you.

(NEWS THEME MUSIC)

KAZ:
The queen arrives.

- (SHRIEKING)

- Look at you.

(LAUGHING)

- MAGGIE:
Hey.

- CAESAR:
Oh, God.

- MAGGIE:
Oh, my God.

- (LAUGHING)

Oh, my God.

I'm so happy to see you guys.

Welcome.

MAGGIE:
Oh, my God.

I can't believe that I'm...

Oh forget it, you're home.

I want you to know this is

the happiest time in my life.

Look at me.

This is yours, remember that.

Are you proud of yourself?

- Huh?

- CAESAR:
Home sweet home.

You should be the

proudest girl in the world.

You know what

you've accomplished?

It's a new you,

that's what it is.

- Okay?

- MAGGIE:
Thank You.

You don't know how much

this means to me.

KAZ:
And this is your house,

your home.

Go out and take a look

like you used to.

- Go ahead, go ahead.

- MAGGIE:
Okay.

PAROLE OFFICER:
So Maggie,

it's a great place right?

MAGGIE:
Oh yeah,

look at the view.

- Yeah.

- (SIGHS)

Now you know we had to give you

a special chance to do this.

MAGGIE:
Mm-hm.

- Hi!

- Hi.

My name is Crowley.

I'm Ms. Chase's

personal assistant.

- KAZ:
This is Caesar.

- CROWLEY:
Hi.

Get some of this beauty,

infuse it into your spirit.

Take it to another level.

I'm not gonna do what

I did last time, you know.

I can't... I can't mess up again.

It's just too much.

Yeah, no.

And you know, you're too good

to be wearing that stupid thing.

You know, I don't want it

to be beeping,

so I have to come and slug you.

- I'm scared.

- It's alright.

- That's a good thing.

- Is that normal?

It's very normal.

We have her on a herbal

regime for the sobriety.

- No drinking?

- No drinking.

HILDI:
What kind of herbs?

CROWLEY:

Um, it's a green powder drink.

It has a lot of

different vitamins and...

Raw hemp?

You know, I'm not sure.

HILDI:
Hemp is the best

protein powder you can get.

You can handle it. Come on,

you're on screen, you're on...

doing all of that stuff.

But don't get caught up

into the Hollywood hype.

It's not the Hollywood hype

that scares me,

it's like being in the kitchen

and eating dinner

that scares me, you know?

It's the little stuff in life

that freaks me out.

- Wow, that's heavy.

- (LAUGHING)

- That's heavy.

- It's true.

Listen, don't let that thing

go off, ever.

- You be good.

- I will.

- I will.

- PAROLE OFFICER: Be good.

Bye.

- Hi.

- GIO:
Hi.

- MAGGIE:
I'm Maggie.

- KAZ:
Sit down,

- I want you to meet Gio.

- Gio.

- MAGGIE:
Nice to meet you.

- KAZ:
And this is Hildi.

- MAGGIE:
Hi Hildi.

- Hi. How are you?

KAZ:
These people,

sweetheart, are here for you.

Everybody.

Isn't... aren't you

the acting teacher?

HILDI:
Mm-hm.

KAZ:
Well, she's not just

an acting teacher, sweetheart.

She's a life coach.

I've seen you backstage

every single week.

- KAZ:
Yeah.

- Yeah.

You're supposed to be

really scary.

(LAUGHING)

What do you think?

MAGGIE:
I think you'd call her

a little intimidating.

- What about Gio?

- GIO:
Alright?

MAGGIE:
And you're the one

who's been cleaning up

- all of my messes.

- KAZ:
Oh, he's the best.

- MAGGIE:
And I keep making 'em.

- I do my best.

KAZ:
He's got

relations with the public.

- You know what that means?

- MAGGIE:
No.

He cleans up everybody's life.

- (LAUGHING)

- Lunch is served.

HILDI:
Can you pass me

the Pellegrino?

We have something important

to talk about.

I have a boyfriend now,

his name's Dov Lambert.

KAZ:
Uh huh.

A great actor by the way.

CAESAR:
Congratulations.

KAZ:
Oh, he's a great actor,

this guy, great actor.

When he wants to come

stay here, is that okay?

He's gonna stay here,

that's fine.

Isn't this man still...

isn't Dov still married?

Oh no, no,

this is a terrific guy.

He's in my card game

every Tuesday.

- MAGGIE:
Is he?

- He's in your card game?

Isn't that okay if Dov

stays here

for just a couple of nights?

I feel so lonely being away

from my house, and him...

Just for a couple of nights.

Why wouldn't you mention

if a guy like Dov...

- I don't...

- ...is in your card game?

Why wouldn't you say something

about it?

CAESAR:
Cause it's my card game,

it's my life, that's why.

- Would you stop?

- Oh, bullshit.

So I wanted to know if it's okay

if I move into the main bedroom?

Just for this month.

I mean, I'm used to having

a lot of space,

and if you guys wouldn't mind,

then I'd be willing to pay

your mortgage for you.

For this month.

And you guys can sleep

in the guest house.

- Great. Perfect for me.

- What?

The guest house. We're going

to sleep in the guest house.

Okay?

You don't understand?

There's such a thing

as generosity...

- We'll be delighted to do that.

- Well, wait a second.

You guys are so nice to me.

HILDI:
What do you want?

MAGGIE:
Right now,

or in general?

What do you want,

there's only right now.

Like, what?

HILDI:
Shush,

just think about it.

There's only the present

moment right now.

You want to know

how to get happy?

- MAGGIE:
Yeah.

- You see that?

You stay in the moment,

right now.

- Right now?

- HILDI:
Right now!

- That's the stuff...

- Okay.

HILDI:
Where are you right now?

Yum Yum Donuts.

- Yum Yum Donuts?

- MAGGIE:
Yeah.

That's what you think of

this moment right now?

MAGGIE:
It's the first thing

that came to my mind.

Alright, when did you

have that feeling?

When did you experience

Yum Yum Donuts?

When I was living here

in North Hollywood.

Okay.

- Were you happy then?

- (LAUGHING)

- MAGGIE:
Yes.

- Yes!

So when you get depressed,

when you get scared,

when you want to take a drink,

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