Queens Page #3

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She can go to the movies

or the theater.

She's washing the dishes.

She said she'll make dinner tomorrow.

Boys, you left the light on in here.

Shall I turn it off?

No!

We always leave a light on

at night, Mom.

You know best. You said it.

She was listening behind the door.

You're taking out the problems

you have with your mom on mine.

This isn't going to work.

In fact, it won't do.

This is my house.

Sure. It's "our house" when it suits

you, and "my house" when it doesn't.

So, now what? What am I?

A Latin American lucky enough

to find a guy like you?

A guest who cannot have

his own opinion?

Come now, ducky...

don't you see that having your mom

here will invade our privacy?

I don't see why.

What if we want to f***?

Do you want to f***?

So, let's f***.

Fine, then. Let's f***.

I agree, I'm neurotic.

It's just that this morning we were

happy, and now we're arguing.

We're not arguing now, my love.

Boys, I'm sorry if I interrupted, but...

is there some kind of a park nearby?

Marilina won't stop howling,

and I feel sorry for her.

If someone can take her out

and tire her out...

we might all be able to get

some sleep, right?

Okay.

FOUR HOURS EARLIER

Impossible. I missed the last flight.

- I'm at a hotel.

- Too bad. We'll miss you.

I'll be there tomorrow.

Keep an eye on my Mom.

Don't let her screw your father.

- He seems to be coming on to her.

- Keep an eye on her. Kisses.

Same to you. Bye.

We were a party of five,

and now, we'll be three.

- You sure your Mom's won't come?

- She should be here by now.

- She'll do anything to avoid me.

- My ex does the same thing.

- Are you unattached now?

- I'm always unattached.

Whether I'm married or not.

- Look, look...

- But she isn't...

- Shall we order?

- Yes.

We're making history, right?

We're celebrating the marriage

of our two sons.

- Here's to the 21st century!

- Cheers!

The social acceptances

of homosexual relationships...

is nothing new. In many classic

civilizations, men had male lovers.

It was acceptable

even to their wives.

- Well, you are a history teacher.

- Right.

Alexander the Great, Ramses II...

Viriatus, Attila.

The great Julius Cesar enjoyed

dressing up as a woman.

Will you order a Soncino salad for me?

I'll be right back.

This is the patient who's upset

because she's out of tranquilizers.

I want to talk to the dumb shrink

who disconnects his cell phone.

I did it again. On the train.

With a disgusting guy.

I'm so sorry I wanna die...

and besides, I think I have problems.

Dad?

- Dad, that's enough.

- What?

- Don't screw my boyfriend's mom.

- Right.

It's just a game.

And she likes to play it.

- Did you see her cleavage?

- No, I didn't notice it.

She has outstanding breasts.

You can't help looking.

- They're silicone.

- No way.

And if they were, so what?

Listen, son...

you...

...never screwed a woman, did you?

- Of course not.

Not even when you were younger?

A teenager? Never?

- Narciso's the only one I screwed.

- I don't believe it.

- Right. I'm sort of strange.

- You're like your mother.

If you never screwed a woman,

how do you know you don't like them?

You never screwed a man, but you

know you don't like them, right?

- It's not the same thing.

- Don't give me that now!

I wasn't fifteen when you left home

and disappeared...

until the Sergeant left you.

Now, two days before my wedding...

you want to discuss my sexual trends?

She wasn't a Sergeant.

She was a First Corporal.

- Can we meet later?

- So you can tell your friends about it?

- Don't try, or I'll punch you!

- I have a suite at the Palace.

I feel sick every time I remember

your ridiculous dick!

Come back here, redhead!

Come back!

- I warned you!

- Call the police!

No need to. I'm a police officer.

Thanks.

- Here.

- Thank you.

Do you want water?

There's a bar close by.

Drop me at my hotel, please.

- How embarrassing!

- Did you know him?

Only slightly.

Please don't tell my son

about it.

Thank you. Good night.

- What was that?

- A dog.

A dog!

What are you doing?

I don't know.

FOUR HOURS EARLIER

Dad, you know you can't drink.

It's not good for you.

Look... don't treat me like

I was your son.

You don't mind, do you?

No! I've worked with Almodvar!

Have we showed you

the apartment plans?

No.

- They're in the car. Come with me?

- Sure.

We're all a little aggressive,

don't you think?

Not me.

Great.

Our sons' relationship

doesn't change anything.

I find it strange. I've known your son

since he was small.

For years, he wore your son's

hand-me-downs.

True.

Do you mind

if I take my shoes off?

But my socks

are not Valentino's. Sorry.

Jacinto, we may be

putting up a front...

but you don't like my son

and I don't like yours.

You're formal, again.

- Jons is not in love with my son.

- No?

I wonder if he would hang around

my son if we were poor.

- Did my son ask you for money?

- Not yet. But they're buying...

...an apartment!

- With his salary. My son works.

Yours is a bum.

He says that he's an artist,

but look at that painting.

What's wrong with it?

Dinner wasn't bad.

- It could have been worse.

- Your father is a riot.

He's gross.

And your mom is watching me as

if I'm going to steal the silverware.

You're too good-looking for me.

She thinks:

..."What did he see in Rafa?"

- That because she doesn't know you.

Of course not.

She only knows herself.

- Let's go to the swings?

- No.

That's where it all started.

On the swings.

- And leave them alone in there?

- Let them get to know each other.

Let's go!

Like all rich people, you pretend

you're meek and laugh at my socks.

You pretend that you're a worker.

I don't pretend. I am one!

Moreover, I'm a communist.

I knew it. The most separatist

and envious class...

...I've ever seen!

- Do you think I envy your life?

A woman with a garden like yours

and doesn't know the flowers!

You're so ungrateful! When you

became a widower, I helped you.

You humiliated me. You always

made it clear that you were...

...being charitable!

- Obviously we cannot be related.

And we're not going to be!

I don't care if those two freaks

screw, get married...

or have four Chinese babies!

After all, this time I see

that you're very rude!

You humiliated me and my son!

If that's so, maybe you'd better

not work here anymore.

I sprayed your garden,

cut the grass...

and clipped the bushes.

I'll send a messenger with the bill!

- Your dad is leaving!

- We shouldn't have left them alone.

Two other channels called.

The rest confirmed. Most of them...

want interviews before the wedding.

I have the names.

Arrange it, but give me time

between each interview.

The telephone!

- Anything else?

- They want to film the food.

They'll be here early

to catch what's going on.

Play dumb for now.

Say that it's a hygiene issue.

I have to solve a little problem

in the kitchen.

They want more invitations

to the banquet.

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