Rabbit Hole Page #4

- I know that doesn't help.

No, it does, it really does, but...

- I know I should have

tried to get in touch... - It's fine.

I just really wish I had driven down

a different block that day.

I know.

You know, I should maybe go.

It's all right.

No, I gotta... My mom's gonna start

to wonder where I'm at.

It's okay. You really don't have to. It's...

Can we do this again sometime?

Sure.

Okay.

Jesus Christ.

- Hey, Gaby.

- I can't... I know.

God, I can't believe

you just saw me do that.

I didn't mean to sneak up on you.

I thought something was wrong,

but, obviously, everything smells fine.

You can smell it, huh? God.

- Everyone in there's gonna know.

- Nah.

- I swear I never do this.

- Where's Kevin?

He's not coming to group.

And I blame your wife, by the way,

'cause I think she put the idea in his head.

Yeah, well, he didn't really seem

to like group all that much.

God, you know, he's got me so upset.

I mean, like, look at me. I'm... I'm...

I am smoking pot in a parking lot.

It's like I'm in high school. It's...

I'm ridiculous.

You got any more?

Yeah.

Come on in, partner.

Well, if today is rage day,

most of you know that I'm a little bit

more comfortable with rage,

talking about rage.

I deal with rage every single day.

I listen to guys at work going on and on

about paving their driveways or whatever.

Stupid nonsense.

They don't know. They haven't

had their lives ripped apart yet.

- They're not in the club.

- Exactly.

Meanwhile, I'm like,

"Hey, guys, my daughter died of leukemia."

I'm sorry. I have to get some water.

You're one of those bad kids

my mother warned me about.

Yes, yeah, I am corrupting you.

But don't worry, I won't tell Becca.

I'd appreciate that.

- Bye.

- Good night.

Becca?

- Becca? What'd you do here?

- What?

- God damn it.

- What?

- What'd you do to my phone?

- Jesus, Howie, I thought something had...

This morning, when you used it,

what did you do to my phone?

Nothing, I just...

- I just got the number for the roof guy.

- For God's sake.

- What? You told me to call him.

- You deleted Danny's video.

No. No, I didn't. No.

I just... You were right there.

I just got the number.

Yeah, and you kept pressing the screen.

Because I couldn't figure out

how to use your phone.

- I checked already, it's gone.

- We have 100 videos of him.

That's not the point, Becca.

Then... Then you should

have put it on your computer.

- Right, right, it's my fault.

- I didn't say that.

- I said it's gone!

- Jesus, Howie! I didn't do it on purpose!

- Are you sure?

- What does that mean?

What, you think I deliberately

deleted his video?

I don't know.

- You don't know?

- It's like you're trying to get rid of him.

I'm sorry, but that's how it feels.

Every day it's something new.

- Really?

- Yeah.

It's like you're trying to get rid

of any evidence he was ever here.

- What? You took the paintings

off the fridge. - To save them.

- To save them. They are

in a box downstairs. - Okay, his clothes.

We don't need all that stuff, Howie.

We just don't.

You wanting to sell the house.

Your sending Taz to your mother's.

There's a lot going on.

The dog got underfoot.

- Right. And he was a reminder.

- Yes, yes, he is a reminder.

- And since you never wanted the dog...

- I wanted one less reminder. For God's sake.

If I hadn't bought the dog,

Danny would still be alive.

If I hadn't have run back in to get

the phone, if I had latched that gate...

I left the gate unlatched!

Come on, I'm not playing this game again,

Howie, I'm not!

- It's no one's fault, and I'm not...

- Not even the dog's!

Dogs chase squirrels! Boys chase dogs!

- I know that.

- He loved that dog and you got rid of it!

Just like I'm getting rid of the video, huh?

It's not about the video, Becca.

It's not about the video!

It's not just the video,

it's about Taz and the paintings

and his clothes and everything!

There's no pictures of him around!

There's no fingerprints! There's nothing!

God damn it!

You have to stop erasing him!

You have to stop it!

Do you really think that I don't see him

every second of every day?

The video was an accident, Howie,

and believe me,

I will beat myself up about it forever,

I'm sure,

just like everything else

I could have prevented.

- That's not what I want, Becca.

- No? Because it feels like it is.

It feels like maybe

I don't feel badly enough for you.

Maybe I'm not feeling enough.

What do you want from me?

Something's got to change, because this...

I can't do this like this anymore. It's...

It's too hard. It's too hard.

And I want that dog back.

- Your mother's making him fat.

- Howie.

I miss the dog.

I'm sorry, but I miss him. I want him back.

- Did you really make these?

- I did.

That's good.

- They're still warm.

- I'm glad you like them.

I've been reading that book,

the parallel universe book.

Yeah? Did you like it?

Yeah. It's interesting.

I don't know if I buy it,

the whole alternate reality thing, I just...

I don't know.

But it's interesting.

- Did you have to do it

for a school project? - No, it's research.

Research?

It's a comic book.

It's impressive.

- Did you do all of this?

- Yeah.

Wow. It's amazing.

- What's it about?

- A scientist, I guess, and his son. The...

The father discovers this network of holes

that leads to other galaxies and...

- Parallel universes.

- Yeah, and, well, the scientist dies,

so the son has to go into this rabbit hole

to try and find him,

but it's not him because he's dead,

so it's, like, another version of him.

It's kind of stupid.

- No.

- No? Okay.

Not at all. I would love to read it.

Yeah, it's... Sorry. It's not... It's not

done yet, but when it is done, I will...

I will let you read it.

- Okay.

- Okay.

I don't want you to feel uncomfortable.

I... I...

I might have been going too fast

on that day.

I mean, I'm not sure, but I might have been,

so that's something

I've been wanting to tell you.

It's a 30 zone,

and I might have been going 31 or 32.

I usually look down and check,

and if I'm going over

then I would slow down, obviously,

but I don't remember checking

on your block.

So, it's possible

that I was going too fast and...

And... Well, the dog ran out really fast,

you know?

So I swerved. I didn't know.

I didn't know.

I thought you should know,

I might have been going

a little over the limit,

and I can't be positive.

- Okay.

- Okay.

Yeah.

All right.

Okay.

Thank you.

I don't want to go in there.

Yes, yes, yes!

- I'm sorry. It was...

- Be nice.

- My God.

- Come on.

- I'm sorry, you suck.

- I would be doing better,

but your pot messed up

my depth perception.

- All right.

- Yeah.

I'm gonna support that one.

I'm totally gonna support that one.

Thank you.

Hey. You know what?

I have a confession to make.

- Remember when I said Kevin left group?

- Yeah.

What I meant to say was

he left me.

He left me.

Yeah, I...

I came home and he was gone.

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