Racing Stripes Page #2

You always have something

in your teeth, Ruffshodd.

- Hey, where's she going?

- Excuse me.

- Would you care to join me for a drink?

- A drink. Good call.

No.

Talk to the tail, boys.

Did you ever consider going around

that tree instead of through it?

Yeah, well, usually it moves

out of my way.

I've never heard of a tree doing that.

You don't know the trees here.

Are you new?

- Just got here. I'm Sandy.

- I'm Stripes.

You don't say?

- Are you a racehorse?

- No, I'm a jumper.

I've actually competed

all around the world.

Well, I'm a racehorse.

I'm training to be in the big race.

By racing the mailman?

Well, the other horses

don't wanna race me.

- I'm just way too fast for them.

- He's not a racer.

Oh, not them again.

They say his dad's a horse

and his mom's a fence.

Real funny, guys.

I've gotta go, I'm sorry.

I'll see you around, Stripes?

- Later.

- So, Stripey, how's it going?

- You still racing the mailman?

- Oh, the mailman wasn't racing him.

- He was running away from him.

- I'll race you any time you want.

- Well, unfortunately I don't race nobodies.

- Yeah, he don't race nobodies.

- Figures. All talk and no action.

- Well, this is disappointing.

- Oh, it's my dad.

- Listen, you.

I want you to stop bothering my son.

And you can tell Tucker I said that.

Trenton's Pride is a champion

with a real future. And you, well...

You have your place.

- Father, l...

- You and I will talk later.

Mr. Sir Trenton, sir, we been trying

to get this guy to stop bothering us...

...but he just won't stop...

- Ruffshodd.

...bothering us.

- Shut up, you idiot.

Yes, Mr. Sir Trenton, sir.

And may I say,

your coat is very shiny today.

There's a place where we can settle this.

No humans. No rules.

Where and when?

- Welcome to the Blue Moon Races.

- Yeah!

- It's him.

- Be quiet. Be quiet.

Tonight's first contestant

is 10-0 and good to go.

He is the baddest pony on the prairie.

Give it up for Trenton's Pride.

Step right up, if you're horse enough.

- Not me, no way.

- Who's feeling their oats?

- Nobody can beat him.

- No way. He's too tough.

I'll take him on.

Laugh it up. Just wait and see.

- Hey, Sandy.

- Hi, Stripes.

Well, well.

I'm surprised you showed up.

You wanna talk or race?

- That coat is simply dreadful.

- Well, it's slimming, though. Right?

- Oh, you're gonna wish you stayed home.

- You're gonna wish I stayed home too.

After I kick your butt.

And now, let's get ready to...

...race!

Up to that heap, around it

and back to here.

I am going to make you look so bad

in front of your girlfriend.

- Send him home, Pride.

- Show him who's boss.

You got guts, kid.

Come on, Pride.

You show him who's in charge.

Let's go!

Come on, Stripey, try and keep up.

See you, loser.

Just giving you a head start.

You're gonna need it.

Come on, Pride, is that all you got?

I'm not even breaking a sweat yet.

Good thing your daddy's not here

to see this.

Holy cow, what a kick.

- At least you're gonna keep this interesting.

- I told you guys he's fast.

Slow down, kid,

you're gonna blow the turn.

Stripes!

Nice turn, Stripey.

I tried to warn you.

How's that ridge taste?

What can you say? Rookie mistake.

- Stripes, are you all right?

- Go back where you belong!

- Yeah, I'm fine.

- What a loser!

Get out of here!

- Stripes.

- We don't want you.

- Go home!

- Hey, Stripey.

Did you really think that you could beat

a trained professional?

Hey there, boy.

What's up? What's the matter?

Feel like there's something

you're not telling me.

What, you sick or something?

There you are.

Now you're all gorgeous again.

I can't have my best boy

looking all gnarly, now, can I?

Stay out of the mud.

So you don't know

where the mud came from?

- It didn't come from the Blue Moon Races?

- Nope, just took a mudbath for my arthritis.

Chan!

Helmet.

- Take it easy.

- I'm gonna be late for work.

Yeah, that's right.

Boy, will you get a load of this dump?

Even Old MacDonald wouldn't want

this farm, but it's perfect.

Miles from the Jersey shore,

not an ocean in sight, not even a birdbath.

No one will look for a classy guy

like the Goose here.

Watch where you're going,

that's my knee.

So that's how we land

in the big city.

If there's no parking space,

you make one.

Any of you mugs got a problem

with that?

Nice landing.

Can we see you take off now?

Are you a small horse

or some sort of an ass?

- Because you look like an ass to me.

- I don't mean to be rude...

...but you seem to be more surf than turf.

Did you take a wrong turn?

Because you look slow, I'll skip the salad

and get to the risotto.

Let's just say I'm having

a little disagreement with my family.

We disagree on whether or not

they should whack me. Name's Goose.

Oh, a pelican named Goose.

Well, my name's Duck.

- Duck? Duck?

- Duck. Goose.

Oh, you're funny.

But there's only room for one wise guy

on this farm, and you should know...

...Goose is a name that strikes fear

into anyone on the East Coast.

Don't shoot! I didn't do it!

It was the horse with the funny hair.

The goat's in on it.

You're fine unless you're being chased

by a tractor.

Look, here's the whole spaghetti sauce.

I'm a hit bird, and when Sammy the Gull

needs a lesson taught...

...the Goose is the guy he calls.

Only this last job, I had a little mishap.

Instead of hitting Freddy the Flamingo,

I hit Sammy's capo, Johnny Storkanado.

And now Sammy, Freddy, Johnny,

they're all after me.

- Hey, ever try shutting up?

- Ever try swimming in cement horseshoes?

- I've taken out punks bigger than you.

- What, you talk them to death?

Careful, pony boy, or somebody's gonna

wake up with your head in their bed.

Knew from that pecker

you'd be a bigmouth.

Watch it, stumpy.

I'd cut you off at the knees, but it looks

like somebody's beaten me to it.

All right, knock it off.

Nobody has anything to prove here.

Proof? You want proof, huh?

You see Rusty the Rotating Rooster

up there?

- He's about to get Goosed.

- Where is hunting season when you need it?

Okay, adjust for the wind.

Nice, level flight.

Come on, Goose, use the Force.

Well, you can't say that he couldn't

hit the broadside of a barn door.

Acid rain! Acid rain! I'm blind.

It's too late for me.

Save yourselves. I'm going to the light.

I see a bucket of dead relatives!

Extra crispy. Extra crispy!

That's the worst turn

I've ever seen anybody make.

- Awful, terrible, stink-o.

- I have no idea what you're talking about.

The Blue Moon Races

are the worst-kept secret of all time.

I know. I almost had him.

- I should have beaten him, easily.

- Wrong.

You need more than raw talent,

which you have...

...to beat a well-trained racehorse.

It takes skill.

Real skill and real discipline

to become a racer. It's hard work.

Nothing good ever comes easy.

And speaking of hard work...

Oh, boy. See you later, kid.

Good luck.

Tractor's down, Stripes.

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