Ragamuffin Page #8

the Sunday School answers

are exactly

the right ones.

So what is it?

That God loves you

even when you don't

feel it but--

Exactly.

Exactly.

But the truth is

I don't get it.

Even when I'm supposed

to know it, I just don't

feel it.

So, what do you know?

What do you feel?

[sigh]

I feel broken.

The only thing

that makes me

feel...good

is not

pretending otherwise.

Well, I think

that's a good place to start.

You know we're going

to be okay, right?

We're going to be okay.

I hope so.

(Rich, off)

Losing Morris

was devastating.

And left me

at another crossroads

in my life.

I came to Wichita

to find myself,

only to leave feeling

just' as lost' as I

had before.

I set out on the road

again with Justin,

not really sure

where I was headed.

Hey, Rich.

Where were you?

I was just getting

some food.

Don't go anywhere

without telling me

where you're going. Okay?

Okay.

Is everything all right?

I was just'- -

I don't need

you to talk.

Just, if you're

going somewhere, tell

me where you're going.

Okay? Or take

me with you.

Okay, but--

Damn it.

Hey, Can I may

YOU a tape?

What is it?

There's this preacher.

You should know better

than to even ask me

to listen to a preacher.

Just give it ten minutes.

(male preacher)

In the 33 years

since I was first ambushed

by Jesus in a little chapel

in the mountains

of western Pennsylvania,

and the literally thousands

of hours of prayer

and meditation,

silence, solitude

in those years,

I am now

utterly convinced

that on Judgment Day

the Lord Jesus will ask

one question and only

one question,

"Did you believe

that I loved you?

"That I desired you?

"That I waited

for you day after day?

"That I longed to hear

the sound of your voice?"

The real believers

will respond and say,

"I believed in your love,

"and I tried

to shape my life

as a response to it."

But many of us

who are so faithful

in our ministry,

our practice,

church going,

are going to answer

"Well, frankly, no sir.

"I never really believed it."

And there's the difference

between the real believers

and the nominal Christians

that abound in our churches

across the land.

No one can measure

like a believer

the depth and intensity

of God's love.

But' then again,

no one can measure

like a believer

the effectiveness

of our gloom,

our pessimism,

our low self-esteem,

our self-hatred and despair

that block God's way to us.

Do you see now

why it's so important

to lay hold of this basic

truth of our faith?

Because you're only going

to be as big as your own

concept of God.

We make God in our own image

and he winds up being

as fussy and rude

and narrow-minded

and judgmental

andlegahsfic

and unloving

and unforgiving as we are.

I've been in churches

in Bangor, Maine,

Miami, Seattle,

San Diego, and Saint Louis,

and honest to God

if so many Christians

I meet is too small for me.

Because he is

not the God of the Word.

He is not the God

who is revealed

in and by Jesus Christ,

who at this moment

comes to your seat

and says,

"I have a word for you.

"I know

your whole life story.

"I know

e very skeleton

in your closet.

"I know every moment of sin

and shame and dishonesty

"and degraded love

that's darkened

your past.

"Right now,

I know your shallow faith,

your feeble prayer life,

"your inconsistent

discipleship,

"and my word

to you is this.

"I dare you

to trust that I love you.

"Just as you are.

"Not as you should be.

"Because none of us

are as we should be."

(Justin)

Whoa, what's up?

Are you all right?

(Justin)

Rich.

Rich?

[weeping]

You know, Brennan,

I've been going to church

since I was less

than a week old.

I can count on one hand

how many times I've heard

the simple proclamation

of what the Gospel

is really about.

There are very few things

I love more than beer.

Hot fudge sundae

is one of them.

Beer, huh'?

Mm-hm.

Yeah, I'm a recovering

alcoholic.

That's my six-month

sobriety chip from AA.

I've been on the wagon

and off the wagon more

times than I can remember.

Definitely more times

than my whiskey-loving

brain can remember.

It's honest.

You should try it some time.

It's refreshing.

Brennan, I don't know

if I have any friends left.

Right now

do you think

you're free?

What do you mean "free"?

A free man

wouldn't need

to ask.

Mm.

I'm not free.

I feel like a failure.

I'm on stage

all the time,

expected to be

this voice of hope.

People want me

to be perfect,

but I'm not.

Brennan,

I'm always

carrying around

this darkness.

We're all fighting

the same battle.

You know,

I love what you said.

You said that...

you said that God

loves us for who we are,

not for who we should be

because none of us are

who we should be.

Yeah, that's the heart

of the ragamuffin gospel

right there.

What's that?

Ragamuffins

are the unsung assembly

of saved sinners.

They're little

in their own sight,

and aware

of their brokenness

and powerlessness

before God.

A ragamuffin knows

he's only a beggar

at the door of God's mercy.

Brennan,

I'm a ragamuffin.

Oh, I know.

Me, too.

And, uh, as one

ragamuffin to another,

would you judge me

if I had another

hot fudge sundae?

This next song

is my contribution

to the...ragamuffin

collection.

[playing piano]

J3 It took the hand

Of God Almighty J3

J 7'0 part the waters

In the sea

But /'2' only took

One little lie

To separate

You and me

J Oh we are

Not as strong J

.57 As we think we are .U

And they say

That' one day Joshua J

J He made the sun

Stand still in the sky J

But' I can '2' even

Keep these thoughts

Ofyou J

L' From passing by L'

J Oh we are

Not as strong J

.57 As we think we are .U

.67 We are frail J

J3 We are fearfully

And wonderfully made J3

Forged in the fires

Of human passion

J Choking on the fumes

Of selfish rage

J7 And with these

Our hells and our heavens J7

L' 80 few inches apart L'

J3 We must be

Awfully small J7

Not' as strong

As we think we are .U

Thank you.

You know, you guys

are all into that

born-again thing,

which is fine.

We do need

to be born again.

Jesus said that

to a guy named

Nicodemus.

But you tell me I need

to be born again

to enter

the kingdom of God,

I can tell you

that you need to sell

everything you have

and give it to the poor.

'Cause Jesus said that

to one guy, too.

Maybe that's why God

invented highlighters.

So we can highlight

what we like in the Bible

and just ignore the rest.

I think that

when we do things to--

that corrupt our lives,

we're really just trying

to comfort some ache

that we have.

And I think that

the Church exists

'cause we all

kind of need

each other.

And why are we all

walking around church

wearing these masks,

pretending to be perfect?

It's so exhausting.

Why do we do it?

And I think

that our only hope

is the love of God.

[mixed voices]

Hey;

Hey.

The song I've been

working on that I--

I kind of want to play

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