Raising Arizona Page #3

VOICE OVER:

...My lawless years were behind me;

our child rearin' years lay ahead.

DUSTY ROAD LEADING UP TO TRAILER DAY

A squad car, its siren wailing, kicks up dust as it roars

into the foreground.

ADOPTION OFFICE:

Hi and Ed are seated on folding chairs facing an agent's

desk. Hi wears a sport coat over his Hawaiian shirt. Ed is

in her dress blues.

HI:

It's true I've had a checkered past,

but Ed here is an officer of the law

twice decorated...

THE AGENT:

Looking, with a dead pan, from the file to Hi.

HI:

...So we figure it kind of evens

out.

His face still deadly neutral, the agent looks back down at

the file and unfolds the accordioned rap sheet, revealing it

to be a couple feet long.

VOICE OVER:

...But biology and the prejudices of

others conspired to keep us childless.

INT. SQUAD CAR

On Ed as she stares vacantly out the passenger window.

VOICE OVER:

Our love for each other was stronger

than ever...

ON HI:

Driving. He looks from Ed out to the road.

VOICE OVER:

...but I preminisced no return of

the salad days.

TRAILER BATHROOM

Over Hi's shoulder as he stares listlessly at himself in the

mirror, a razor held forgotten in one hand, his face half

lathered and half shaved.

VOICE OVER:

The pizazz had gone out of our lives.

TRAILER BEDROOM:

The bedroom is somewhat messy. Ed sits on the edge of the

bed, also staring listlessly. Her police uniform is on but

not yet buttoned. Her hands lie palm-up in her lap, like two

dead fish.

VOICE OVER:

Ed lost all interest in both criminal

justice and housekeeping. Soon after,

she tendered her badge.

MACHINE SHOP:

Once again Hi works as his sweaty gum-chewing colleague stands

idly by.

VOICE OVER:

Even my job seemed as dry and bitter

as a hot prairie wind.

BUD:

So here comes Bill a-walkin' down

Nine Mile - that's Bill Parker,

y'understand - got his sandwich in

one hand, the f***in' head in the

other...

ON HI DRIVING:

Alone in his Chevy. He looks to the side.

VOICE OVER:

I even caught myself drivin' by

convenience stores...

HIS MOVING POV:

7-Eleven.

VOICE OVER:

...that weren't on the way home.

TRAILER LIVING ROOM

Hi and Ed sit listlessly watching TV.

VOICE OVER:

Then one day the biggest news hit

the state since they built the Hoover

Dam...

Ed perks up, reacting to something on TV. Hi notices her

reaction and also sloughs off his stupor to watch.

VOICE OVER:

...The Arizona quints was born.

THE TV:

A newscaster silently reading copy. Behind him news footage

of five nurses holding infants mortices in.

VOICE OVER:

By "Arizona" quints I mean they was

born to a woman named Florence

Arizona.

BACK TO HI AND ED

Watching intently. Eyes still locked on the set, Ed reaches

her hand out to Hi. Eyes still locked on the set, Hi takes

her hand in his.

VOICE OVER:

As you probably guessed, Florence

Arizona is the wife of Nathan Arizona.

And Nathan Arizona - well hell, you

know who he is...

THE TV A LATE-NIGHT LOCAL COMMERCIAL

NATHAN ARIZONA, a stocky middle-aged man in a white polyester

suit, is gesturing expansively with his white cowboy hat

toward a one-story warehouse store with a football stadium

parking lot, chroma-keyed in behind him.

NATHAN ARIZONA:

(mixing up on the TV)

So come on down to Unpainted Arizona

for the finest selection in fixtures

and appointments for your bathroom,

bedroom, beaudoir!

VOICE OVER:

...The owner of the largest chain of

unpainted furniture and bathroom

fixture outlets throughout the

Southwest.

NATHAN ARIZONA:

And if you can find lower prices

anywhere my name ain't Nathan Arizona!

BACK TO HI AND ED

As they slowly look from the TV set toward each other.

LINE OF NEWSPAPER VENDING MACHINES

Hi lounges near one of the vending machines as a businessman

puts in a quarter.

VOICE OVER:

Yep, Florence had been taking

fertility pills, and she and Nathan

had hit the jackpot.

The businessman takes his newspaper and releases the machine

door as he turns to leave.

Hi snags the door before it closes and takes his own five-

finger discount copy.

He flips the paper over to look at the headline.

FRONT PAGE OF NEWSPAPER

The banner headline of the Tempe Intelligencer is:

"ARIZONA QUINTS GO HOME!"

The subhead:
"More Than We Can Handle,' Laughs Dad." Next to

it is a picture of Nathan.

VOICE OVER:

Now y'all who're without sin can

cast the first stone...

A pull back from the paper shows Hi and Ed reading it together

at home. They look from the paper to each other.

Hi opens to an inside page and we pan a row of pictures -

the five tots with their names underneath: "HARRY, BARRY,

LARRY, GARRY and NATHAN JR."

VOICE OVER:

...but we thought it was unfair that

some should have so many while others

should have so few.

BILLBOARD:

In the middle of the desert. It reads: "WELCOME TO TEMPE!

POPULATION 13,948... PLUS FIVE!"

EXT. TRAILER TWILIGHT

We are floating in toward Ed who is seated, waiting, in the

driver's seat of Hi's Chevy. Hi enters frame and cinches

down a ladder that is tied to the roof of the car. Pieces of

red flag flutter at either end of the ladder where it sticks

out beyond the car.

VOICE OVER:

With the benefit of hindsight maybe

it wasn't such a hot idea...

Hi gets in the car.

FROM BEHIND THE CHEVY

It starts down the long, winding road leading away from the

trailer, kicking up dust.

VOICE OVER:

...but at the time, Ed's little plan

seemed like the solution to all our

problems, and the answer to all our

prayers.

The title of the film burns in: "RAISING ARIZONA". A building

chord snaps off in a shock cut to:

SUBURBAN LIVING ROOM EVENING

Tableau of a couple at home. Nathan Arizona is on the

telephone, his stocking feet up on an ottoman. Florence sits

reading Dr. Spock's Baby and Child Care.

The living room is dominated by a large oil portrait of Nathan

and Florence, gazing out from the wall over the mantelpiece.

NATHAN:

(into the phone)

Eight hundred leaf tables and no

chairs?! You can't sell leaf tables

and no chairs! Chairs, you got a

dinette set! No chairs, you got dick!

I ask my wife she got more sense!...

TITLE IS SUPERED:

"THE ARIZONA HOUSEHOLD"

From somewhere upstairs we hear an infant start to cry.

Florence stops reading and looks up at the ceiling. Nathan

is oblivious.

NATHAN:

...Miles, all I know is I'm away

from the office to have me some kids

and everything goes straight to heck!

I ain't gonna stand for it!

Another title is supered below the first: "SEPTEMBER 17,

1985". The baby stops crying and Florence's attention returns

to her book.

VOICE OVER:

...Yeah, and if a frog had wings he

wouldn't bump his ass a-hoppin'! I'm

sick of your excuses, Miles! It is

now...

As he throws out his wrist to look at his watch a third title

is supered beneath the first two: 8:45 p.m.

VOICE OVER:

...8:
45 in the p.m. I'm gonna be

down to the store in exactly twelve

hours to kick me some butt!

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