Rampart

1

We are also going to be talking...

with Kim Alexander on following

the money trail.

Getting broken in by Senor

Rape-ez here, huh?

Yeah? You having a good day?

- Yeah.

- I'll break it down

for you, alright?

All you really need to know is...

among this whole sea

of brown skin...

a Mexican man hates a Honduran,

just like a Guatemalan

hates a Salvadoran.

They're really not all the same.

Everybody's dealin' dope,

twenty-four/seven.

It's an open-air supermarket.

Everybody's got a woodstick

for the LAPD.

Typical, onionhead gangbanger.

It'll be a Mexican. You know.

A Patuso or a Fuego.

And all this sh*t,

it all derives from something

real important,

like what little berg in the Culiacn

Uncle Juanito comes from.

How many f***in' coyotes

the dirty little hamster

bred with on his journey up

here to the promised land.

What about the scandal?

The scandal's bullshit.

Two d*ckhead cops got embroiled

in some f*** up.

Ratted out an entire

sweet division...

to save their own wretched asses.

The D.A.'s office is running

scared, afraid to file,

afraid not to exonerate

en-f***ing-masse.

Now you got a lot of hopped-up

Rodney King wannabe beaners

making whoop-de-doo of their own,

with get-out- of-jail-free cards

and a pile of county cash.

This used to be a glorious soldier's

department. Now it's... you.

What's funny?

Private Hatchet woman over

here is inquiring

about the scandal of the century.

You didn't touch your fries.

What? Oh.

I had a couple of them, but

I got a cholesterol thing.

Why, you want them?

No, you want them. Finish it.

I can't... I don't

eat French fries.

Well, then you shouldn't

have ordered them.

Finish those fries.

Dave hates wasting food.

You never see him eat, but...

he hates wasting food.

If you keep going like this,

you're gonna look like a crackhead.

Munch, munch, cowgirl. C'mon.

A very attractive crackhead,

mind you.

You makin' eyes at me?

You want one?

No, no, no. You're doin' good.

I stay healthy.

Finish those fries if you

wanna make probation.

- Okay?

- Yes, sir.

Your dad ever discipline you?

Huh?

No, sir.

I never met my father.

You never met him. Why?

He wasn't around.

General!

You guys make a great couple.

I was just bull-shitting you.

Thanks, boss.

There you go. Eat up. Eat up.

You aim for the shortest wetback,

you watch him skedaddle...

plow the dice and the Schlitz

Malt Liquor cans...

and hit your siren in farewell.

Let's see what we've got.

Wooo!

Green cards!

Yeah, you'll get the hang of it.

- Aren't you worried?

- About?

You'll get a 128?

Okay, listen. This is the most

important thing I've told you so far.

Everything you learned at

the Academy is bullshit.

An Illegal is just a sick bird.

This is some military occupation,

kid. Emergency law.

Alright, let's have some fun.

What went on here?

Caught him boosting ephedrine

and propyl alcohol.

What happened?

Ow.

He hit you?

Yeah.

You hit him? Tough guy?

Step outside, will you?

- Outside?

- Yeah, outside.

Hey, will you step out, too?

- I don't know, sir

- Now!

And shut that door behind you.

Nice tat.

Now, you're cooking crank

out of somebody's garage.

I don't know where that

garage is, but you do.

Now where oh where could

that damn garage be?

I don't see it, but you do.

- No, I don't.

- Yes, you do.

Okay, so now you have petty

theft, assault...

I'm sure you have at

least four priors.

That's a violation and mandatory

bullet, compadre.

Now, you give me that address,

and it all goes away.

What's the address?

I don't want to hurt you.

I don't. I like you.

- You don't know anything?

- Don't know, nothin'.

Tell me where it is. C'mon.

I don't know where it f***in'

is. I don't f***in' know!

That's your man.

- What?

- Meth lab. 41 East Cesar Chavez.

That's it? No explanation, Dave?

- Hey, Dave, question?

- Yeah?

Circuit Court appeals for illegal

search and seizure.

Give me a precedent.

Cuthbert versus Ingleside County,

Virginia, 1966. Look it up.

You have all those cases memorized?

Sure, and if I don't, I make it up.

...takes place in this great,

great country of ours. C'mon.

But let's imagine if you will

what might be happening

out there beyond America,

beyond our word, because I'm

sure this will leave you

simply breathless.

It's my opinion that when we hear

of some bizarre or repugnant

or deviant story

like the one you are

about to hear, well,

it's not that the world suddenly...

- Hey, ladies.

- Dave.

- Hey, babe.

- Any wine for me?

- Dinner's at 6:
30.

- I'll be there.

Daddy!

Hey.

- How are my girls?

- Great.

Yeah? No hello, Helen?

- Hey, Date Rape.

- Don't call me that.

Something about it that's...

What's up, monkey?

Helen has a question.

Maybe you have a question.

We both have a question.

Helen's studying genetics

in school,

and since our moms are sisters...

and you're our dad, we

were just wondering...

if we were inbred.

It's not funny!

No, sorry. Sorry.

No, I married your moms consecutively,

not concurrently...

which makes you and Helen first

cousins and sisters, half.

It's all perfectly legal

and genetically up to insurance

industry standards.

You're not gonna turn into

mongoloids any time soon,

if that's what you're asking.

You're not inbred. You

know what you are?

You're native.

- It's sad.

- They're dead. They can't

commit suicide.

Is this a new TV show?

No. I'm trying to make it up.

It sounds like it. The

ghosts are depressed?

No. I was thinking about

maybe making it

a graphic novel or something.

You could do that.

- Suicidal ghosts.

- I would like to see that.

They want out. So these people,

who I think are actually...

Barbara, where's the olives?

There's no olives.

I'm sorry. I don't know.

I think we're out, I'll look,

but I think we're out.

They're complete barbarians.

And they have just as many

problems as we do.

Why do you let her put

that on the wall?

Helen's poster?

Yeah, that little collage.

It's amazing. She's been

working hard on it.

She's worked on that thing

for three weeks.

- It's amazing, is

it? It is amazing.

- It's quite something.

I think it should be in a museum.

That's what I think.

Don't you tell your mother

you learned that from me.

Here, give me your plate, Marg.

And that's not okay

if that's a bowl.

May I sleep with you tonight?

I have sketching to do. Please.

So that's not a no, is it?

That would be a very

nice way to say no.

What about a nice way to say yes?

What about after your sketching?

No, no...

I'm gonna be up all night.

Aunt Bee, is there

any more broccoli?

Are you asking for more vegetables?

Only broccoli because I

like eating the stems.

Helen, I'm curious about

that artwork you have...

on the wall there.

- What is it?

- What kind of a mother are you?

- She's a broccoli hoarder.

- What does it mean?

What does it mean...

Yeah, what does that

mean? That collage?

It's these little bits of paper,

and you cut them out

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