Rango Page #4

Stay with me...

What do you think happens then?

Why we'd all be drinkin'!

Before you know it,

there wouldn't be anymore water!

And then where would we be?

We'd be thirsty!

Real thirsty!

Why we'd turn on each other

like a bunch of animals!

Now, look here. We have got

six days of water...

Fi.. - We have got five

days of water.

As long as we got water,

we got ourselves a town.

Sheriff Rango is right. As long

as we have this water, we have some hope.

And you can all take it from me.

My one hundred percent

full time employment from this moment

I'll protect our precious, natural, resource.

Ain't no one gonna tango

with the Rango!

Good evening, ladies.

- Good evening, sheriff.

Hold on their, Gordy. Now you

get on back in there and assert yourself.

I think you'll find the people in this

town to be surprising hospitable.

Thank you, sheriff!

What? Not you!

I stand corrected.

This ain't the bank!

- Hold you, Jedidiah!

Hold it right there!

- It's the sheriff.

Get them hands up

where I can see 'em.

Just as I suspected. Prospecting

without authorized equipment!

Don't move a muscle!

- Prospectors?

Now, here's the shovels, pickaxe, drills,

some snacks, puzzle works

and you gonna need the permit.

Ezekiel! Jedidiah! What the

Sam hill's goin' on up there?

I've had colobs removed

smarter than the two of you!

Hells bar! This ain't the bank! - Pappy,

the Sheriff is standin' right here!

Helpin' us out.

- Gonna give us a permit for prospecting.

That's right, sir. Just doin' my duty.

The lonely constable on his rounds,

keepin' and eagle eye out

for meyham and malfeasance.

Does he look like he sounds?

- Uhum.

If we was to hit the mother load,

being prospectors and such,

where would we deposit said annuity?

Well, in Dirt we happen to have the finest

financial institution this side of Missouri.

Protected mornin', noon and night

by yours truly.

Much obliged.

The bank's been robbed!

The bank's been robbed!

O, God Lord,

the bank's been robbed!

What's goin' on?

- I don't know. The water is gone!

What's he sayin'?

- The bank's been robbed!

Doctor Marks, I'm on fire,

embrace me!

The bank's been robbed,

the town is striked...

to die of thirst or equal,

what they thought is all his fault

All right folks, stand back, clear

the area, this is a crime scene now.

Secure the perimeter, dust for prints

and fiber, scamper DNA

I wanna urin sample from everyone

and get me a latte.

Don't mix up the two...

What's this? Prospecting permit?

- I'll take that. Material evidence!

What are we doin' now, sheriff?

- We need that water.

We're all gonna die! - Friends,

we all know what we have to do.

That's right. We all know

what we have to do now.

And that would be?

(Form a posse).

- Form a possum"!

A posse.

Now we gonna be doing this

in orderly fashion.

First of all, does anybody here know

how to use a firearm of any kind?

All right then.

What do we do now,

sheriff?

Now,...

we ride.

Where're we going?

- What?

Where're we going?

Now, as my deputy you'll be in charge

of all trackin' and findin' of villains.

Utilizin'' your well developed ingenuity.

No offense taken.

So which way do you think they went?

You wanna sniff the air...

or commune

with a buffalo or somethin'?

Oh... you're good!

I am depending on you, Spoons.

You got a little tobacco ih your beard.

Always good to have a medical man on,

doc? - Reptiles gotta stick together!

Right, my brother? - I'm an amphibian.

- Ain't no shame in that...

Woh! Are you sure you're fit for

duty there, soldier? - What?

Well, you gotta a little

something in your eye there...

Oh, that! That there is conjunctivitis,

sir. It's hereditary.

Oh... I'm glad to hear

it ain't contageous.

Now, just wait a cotton pickin' minute!

A posse ain't no place for a...

Never mind.

Woh! Woh! Hold on there, little sister.

Someone's gonna have to look

after the town while I'm gone.

- Can I get to shoot someone?

Uh...let's put a pin in that.

Sheriff, you're gonna bring that water

back, aren't you?

Count on it, little sister.

Which way do we go, sheriff?

- There's tunnels everywhere!

The whole town is purpurated

with them.

How'd them fellas found

the bank, anyways?

Khm...Gentlemen, if we can stay

on the task here? - Sheriff, over here.

Would you look at that!

Like seeing the face of God!

- Amen, brother.

I remember when it used to flow

every Wednesday.

Those were the halcyon days...

Must be a reason she quit

on us...

Whatever the reason, someone

is controlling this here water!

What do you say, sheriff?

Clearly, the robbers came

from this direction.

I say we track this pipe

back to its hydraulic origin,

and apprehend the culprits

behind this aquatic conundrum.

What'd he say? - I thin he said

follow the pipe. - He said follow the pipe.

Whatever you do,

do not look down!

What is this place?

- It's an aquafor.

Ah...What is aquafor?

- Well, it's for aqua.

Well, it's empy now!

Thank you, big one.

It's the end of the line.

- Don't go no further.

Someone or something is

messing with our hydration.

And that pipe has something

to do with it.

Now, I thought we was following

bank robbers!

We're experiencing a paradox shift!

I'm gonna shift the features

on your face if you don't shut up!

Quite you savages! Stop your battlin'.

You're effectin' my cogitation.

Wow! I got it!

Snap out them torches!

Smart thinking there,

fellow!

Start climbing! - Get your boot

out of my face!

Not bad, ha, Beans? - If you keep

thinking like that,

your hat's gonna catch on fire.

- Well, you know...

You get on the road...

ahhh! Hot, hot, burn, ow...

Poor things... All they wanted

was a little water.

Cactis dying of thirst?

They don't bold way...

Hey look what I've found!

- What'd you got?

I saw it first!

- It got some water!

It's mine!

- Give me that!

Aaa...It's empty anyway.

- I knew that...

Hey, where'd you find that?

- Sheriff, you gonna wanna see this!

It's Mr. Merrymack,

from the bank.

What's he doing here?

- Everybody stand back!

All right, lemme see it. - Looks like

them barriment shot him in the back!

No...this man wasn't shot.

He was drowned.

Drowned?

- In the middle of the desert?

Oh, what a way to go...

Well now... who's boot prints

are those?

That's interesting. Ground still wet...

- I suppose we should bury him...

Oh, no...birds gotta eat too.

- Circle of life!

Hey, what's that there dumb

Indian doin'?

I see you're consulting

with the spirits.

No, I'm molting. Means

I'm ready to mate.

Oh. I'll keep that in mind.

Cactus fruit.

Ah, yes. The ancient cactus fruit!

I believe you people use it as seasoning

while preparing your native dishes.

Also natural laxative.

Pick up trail. Three men, headed west.

One blind. One with...

...a large prostate, riding side saddle.

What...What'd he say?

- They're ridin' side saddle!

What? - Sshh! We're whisperin'.

- What'd he say?

Someone's got a bad south.

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