Ratcatcher Page #3

Your da's a hero.

- Is your mother or father in?

- My da's in, but he's sleeping.

- We're from the council. Can we come in?

- Is it about our new house?

Come on in.

Da.

It's the new house people. Wake up.

- F*** off.

- It's the new house people.

- What?

Who the f*** are you?

I'm Miss McDonald. This is Mr. Mohan.

We're from the council.

We've come to inspect

the condition of your property

and assess your standard of living.

Have we caught you

at a bad time?

We just want to look around.

- Mrs. Fowler's boy was in the canal.

I had to go in the canal,

and I can't even swim.

I had to go through the rubbish

out back. Have you seen out there?

It's a f***ing disgrace.

I see it's a three-bedroom property

you're looking for, Mr. Gillespie.

That's right.

Are we getting a big house

with a bath, a toilet and a field?

Are we, Da?

You'd better come back

when the wife's here.

We've got all the information we need.

Thanks very much, Mr. Gillespie.

Bye-bye now.

Sorry about the mess.

Come here, you.

Can't you f***ing do anything right?

What did you let them in for?

- 'Cause I thought that...

- 'Cause you thought.

Are we still getting the new house?

If we don't, it's your f***ing fault.

Now get out of my sight.

Would you hold still a minute?

What's the matter with you?

I'm itchy.

Are you about finished?

I think you caught something

in that canal.

All right, you're all done.

Margaret says the council inspectors

were up to see her house today.

They didn't come here, did they?

- Who?

This place was a mess.

Dad, here. Mr. Mullen never took

the money for it.

He didn't?

- Tell you what:
You keep it, sweetie.

- Really? Thanks, Da.

He told me to tell you you're a hero.

- Did he?

Look at the face on you.

Here's your shoes, Daddy.

That's brilliant.

Can I have 50 pence?

That's Mom's!

Where does that boy go?

Ladies and gentlemen,

boys and girls,

it's a great pleasure for me

as Lord Provost

to welcome you here...

Check out that guy's sideburns.

James, do you think Snowball's

on the moon yet?

You be quiet.

I don't want to hear another word

about that mouse. Now shut up.

- Even the McKays are moving soon.

- Yes, I heard, sweetie.

- When are we going to be moving?

- We'll hear soon.

You always say that.

I will now hand out

the certificates and the medals

as awards for your acts of bravery.

Thank you very much,

ladies and gentlemen.

As I call your name,

will you please come forward?

Thanks, George. Don't know what

I would have done.

I can't thank you enough.

What have you got to say

to Mr. Gillespie, Kenny?

We sent Snowball to the moon.

Didn't we, James?

What did I tell you to say?

Look at the man when you're speaking!

Thanks for saving my wife...

I mean life.

- My da's a hero.

- That's right, sweetheart.

Look, there he is up there.

See him?

- Alan McCallen.

- George Gillespie.

Da, it's lovely.

Can I keep it?

I'm going for a quick drink,

meeting the boys at the pub.

Don't be too long.

See you later, sweetie.

Ma, remember:

Put Tom Jones on.

Ma, I asked you to put Tom Jones on.

You weren't listening.

I told you to put Tom Jones on.

You guys wouldn't know a good tune

if it came up and bit you.

- Put Tom Jones on!

- Stop screaming in my ear.

Tom Jones is sh*t, Anne Marie.

You're a big sh*t.

Hey, you two, that's enough

of that language in my house.

- He said it first.

- You hear me, young lady?

- Da swears all the time.

- Okay, who's dancing?

Come on, who's gonna dance?

I'll dance by myself.

Me and your da were the best jivers

at the Lindella.

She's mad.

Is that right? Bet you couldn't do it.

Are you dancing?

You're supposed to say,

"Are you asking?" Are you dancing?

- No way.

- Come on, James. One dance for your Ma.

James can't jive.

James can't jive.

Watch this move.

James can jive.

Let's try a double.

- James can't jive.

- Yes, he can. James is a good jiver.

I'll dance with you, Ma.

One drink, one little drink. That's all.

Then you can go home.

You're a lovely woman,

but I need to go.

I don't have any money.

Come on.

I've got to go.

Buy yourself a drink, okay?

You're a lovely woman.

See you later, darling.

Look after yourself.

You too. Bye.

Mister, can you hold my cat for me

so I can go to the ice cream van?

Sure I can.

Be careful crossing the street.

- Yes, dear?

- Can I get one of these?

Where'd you get the cat, you p*ssy?

F*** off, all of you.

Who do you think you're talking to?

Try them on.

I don't want to.

I bought them for you, you ungrateful

little bastard. Now get 'em on.

Look at 'em. They're too big.

Let me see.

I don't f***in' like football!

I thought I heard a noise.

What are you doing up here, son?

Who are you looking for?

Don't you have a tongue

in your head?

Oh, my God, they're getting

younger and younger.

Another one.

Sh*t. There's your ma.

Don't worry, she won't come in.

Just turn the light out.

I'm freezing.

Aren't you coming in?

James, do you love me?

Yes.

Come on, let's go.

Don't forget that mask.

Get those masks on!

Scabs! You're nothing

but a bunch of scabs.

Every last one of you.

- Shut your face.

It's about time

these bags were cleared.

You mind your own business,

you old cow!

Hey, come on.

Beat it!

James!

Look!

- Can I get up?

- No, we're too busy.

James, look. I killed it.

I thought you were

a member of the RSPCA.

My ma says they're verm... verm...

They're pests.

You're ma's looking for you.

- Is she?

Yes.

Look at the moon.

Hello, Snowball.

Snowball's dead, Kenny.

You killed him.

Calm down, for f***'s sake.

Go for it.

Poor cow, poor cow,

poor cow, poor cow.

Come on, it's my turn.

Remember, be nice to him.

I'm not your pal anymore.

F*** off, f*** off.

- F***ing spastic!

- I saw you, I saw you, I saw you.

You killed Ryan Quinn.

You killed him.

Where have you been?

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