Ratchet & Clank Page #7

he's here to place

you under arrest.

Me?

Absolutely.

Arrest this man

for his speakable

crimes against the galaxy.

My crimes?

The real crime is

how you treated me!

The Rangers couldn't even

give me a proper laboratory!

We have

an operational budget!

You called me

"King of the Nerd Herd!"

It was a term of endearment!

Day after day,

I slaved away,

creating all the weapons

and devices

that made you

look like a hero.

But you're not a hero.

You're not even

a good villain!

You're the galaxy's

biggest joke.

Maybe.

But now the last laugh

is on you.

Wait, what?

That didn't make any sense.

Sure it did.

No, it didn't.

It sounded like

you were combining

"The joke is on you"

with "I'll have

the last laugh."

Take your pick.

That's not how it works!

Get ready to engage

mag-boosters!

Ratchet and Clank

are still inside.

Drek's going to

fire at any moment!

We don't have any more time!

My point is,

if you're going

to use a one-liner,

it should make sense,

and be relevant

to the situation!

Look, I workshop

thousands of these a year,

and they can't all be gold!

Now, put your hands

in the air!

Over your dead body!

Whoa!

Incoming.

Whoa!

Mommy!

- Dialing Mother.

Hello, Horkelberg residence!

Mag-boosters engaged!

Full power!

It's working.

Stay with it.

Steady now! Steady!

Whoa!

What's happening?

Whoa!

Deplanetizer now online.

Qwark!

Don't let him turn it on!

Get off me, you has-been!

You know,

maybe Drek was right.

I am a mad scientist.

Whoo-hoo! They missed!

Lousy, insolent, idiotic...

Break off. Break off!

Copy that.

Ratchet, you have to

get out of there now!

Weapon locker depleted.

Hmm.

Yeah.

We're working on it.

No! My plan!

You've ruined my plan!

You've had this one coming

a long time, Qwark!

Of all my

brilliant creations,

it remains

one of my favorites.

Meet the RYNO,

as in, "Rip You A New One."

Hey, Nefarious?

What?

Meet the Omniwrench.

Warning.

Now entering

Umbris atmosphere.

Any ideas?

Hmm.

Come on, guys.

Get out of there. Come on!

They'll never

make it out in time.

We've got to help.

It's too late.

There's nothing we can do.

We must find

one of Drek's teleporters!

I saw one on the bridge!

Watch out!

Hang on, boys.

It's here! Hit the brakes!

Relax, I know what...

Qwark!

Oh, no.

I can't reach you in time.

Just get out while you can!

Teleporter charging.

Hmm.

What are you doing?

Improvising!

Oh!

Are we dead?

Huh?

We are alive.

All Rangers alive

and accounted for.

Whoo!

Welcome back, Rangers!

Good job!

How many planets do

you think I'll have to save

for them to

call me a hero again?

You don't have

to do big things

to be a hero, Qwark.

Just the right ones.

Oh.

I don't know,

maybe it'll be

worth something someday.

Hmm.

I must say that it is curious

that the sudden

cessation of velocity

relative to our inertia

did not cause

either of you to...

Oh, dear.

Don't worry, Cadet.

It happens to the best...

Oh, that was terrible.

Oh, boy.

Make it stop!

Should we go

and join the others?

I'd like to,

but there's a promise

I have to keep

to an old friend.

I understand.

Don't worry. I'm sure

we'll run into each

other again someday.

It's a small galaxy.

Well,

I suppose this is goodbye.

You can let go now, Ratchet.

Ah...

Come on,

what's the holdup?

Paying good money

for this.

I haven't got all day!

And that was the scene today

as thousands gathered

to welcome home

the Galactic Rangers,

making their triumphant return

from saving our galaxy.

Grateful citizens gathered

at the famed Hall of Heroes

to mark this day

that will live in

hearts and minds forever.

As for Private Qwark,

the recently demoted Ranger

will embark upon

his galaxy-wide apology tour

while shamelessly

promoting his new book,

Listen, I Said I

Was Sorry, All Right?

When asked for a comment,

the former captain

had this to offer.

Prepare to be blown away

by my epic humility.

There was, however,

one curious absence

from today's festivities,

that of new Ranger sensation

and media darling, Ratchet,

leaving this reporter

with one question.

What does a Lombax do

after saving the galaxy?

We may never know.

And now,

a story about a baby glypod

who can play the ukulele.

Come on,

we haven't got all day!

We have 10 more

proton scrubs to do

before lunch

if we want to

stay on schedule!

I've got to be honest,

I kind of thought

you'd be so

touched by the gesture,

you'd call us even.

Well, you thought wrong,

didn't you?

Ah, keep your shirt on,

I heard you.

You see these ears?

Hey! Wait!

Wait! Please wait for me!

I have abandonment issues!

Might I offer

a suggestion?

Modifying that proton scrubber

with a Gadgetron quasar flash

would increase your

efficiency by 47.4%.

A quasar flash, huh?

Gee, I don't know.

That kind of tech

takes two to operate.

And Grim's not as nimble

as he used to be.

Then perhaps I could

remain here and assist,

if you do not mind me

staying around a while.

You kidding?

Things have been way too quiet

without you around.

I do bring

a certain level of zing

to the table, don't I?

Yeah, Clank.

You're a real wild one.

Speaking of which,

am I to assume

that you have retired

from the Galactic Rangers?

Nah. Once a Ranger,

always a Ranger.

Believe me,

the minute somebody tries

to blow up another planet,

I'll be ready to go.

But, hey, what are the odds

of that happening?

Precisely 87,534 to one.

Yep.

A real wild one.

No! Get away from me!

Do not stick

that thing in...

Oh! Oh! Oh!

Quit trying to

repair me, you moron!

I am not a robot!

Huh? Are you still here?

All the logos and doohickeys

already went by.

That means it's over.

Move along.

No extra little scene

at the end of the movie.

If I find out who

started that nonsense,

why, I'm going to

plant my boot so far up...

I said, beat it!

Sheesh!

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