Ratter Page #3

Yeah. It's right back there.

By the way, I'm going out of town

for a few days...

so you have the place to yourself.

- Dude, what? Who is she?

- That's the chick I told you about, man.

Oh, my God. Tell me you got in there.

I'm not. You barging in like a douche bag

doesn't exactly help set the mood.

She's so f***ing hot. Please get in there.

Okay, she's gonna hear you.

Chill out. Would you please leave?

Okay. Okay. But you know

where the penis goes, right?

- The penis goes in your mouth.

- The vagina.

It goes in your mouth. Yeah, I do know.

- You need so much help.

- I appreciate that.

I'm probably gonna listen.

You guys have been hanging out a lot.

I know. I keep telling myself I can't fall

into something. I can't fall into something.

- Maybe just fall into his bed then.

- Oh, gosh.

No, I want to. It's just, I don't know,

I feel like I should wait.

Might be a little bit too soon

after my ex.

But Michael is awesome, right?

And he's so cute.

And he's really funny.

God, again. I keep getting

these weird text messages.

- From who?

- I don't know.

- They're all from a blocked number.

- What does it say?

It says, "you never told me

how you were doing."

I mean, I get weird texts too sometimes...

from people who are, like,

dialing the wrong number.

That's it, that's it, that's it!

Bye bye birdie, he got in four.

Sound on for the home team.

Please enter your password.

This number is not valid.

Please enter your password.

This number is not valid.

Please enter your password.

You have four saved messages.

First saved message.

Hi, this is Patrick

from financial services.

Message skipped. Next message.

Hey, Em. It's Mom.

Give me a call when you can.

I'm planning Thanksgiving...

and I forget what days you have off.

Love you, bye.

Oh, my gosh. He's so cute.

I've wanted a cat for so long.

- You should get one.

- Been thinking about it.

I had two amazing cats growing up.

Winkle and Oreo.

Winkle?

- Love, 15.

- Your noises are really distracting.

I'm sorry. Oh, oh.

Stop.

Eh.

You sound like you're gonna throw up.

I am. Hah!

- Stop your noises.

- Strong rally.

Does the more forceful I do it

make it more forceful?

- No.

- I don't wanna throw my shoulder...

- Game, set, match.

- Again. Once again. I'm the best.

- Not fair.

- I won again.

I think maybe we should slow down.

I don't want to, but I just...

- I think that we should.

- Yeah. Totally.

There's no need to rush things.

Cute.

My dad got it for me when I was little.

It reminds me of home.

Hello?

Hello?

Finding your location.

You're near eighth street

and university place.

We are looking for someone to lead it,

a grad student.

And I thought of you right away.

Now, it's a great opportunity,

but do not feel obligated.

But if it's something that might

interest you...

I could recommend you to the department.

Wow. Wow, thank you. I'm so flattered.

No pressure. If you need some time

to think about it, that's fine.

- Take your time.

- No. Yeah, I'm definitely interested.

I just wanna make sure

that I have the proper time.

Yeah, good.

So how are you settling in?

I think he was flirting with me.

- No way.

- No, I'm serious.

He kept telling me to call him Chris.

- Is he cute? How old is he?

- Nicole, come on, he's like 50.

I mean, it sounds like an easy A.

Well, maybe I should introduce you to him.

Maybe you should.

I have a thing for older men.

- Sh*t, I gotta run. Talk to you later, okay?

- All right. Bye.

You've got to be kidding me.

- Hey.

- Hey, girl.

I'm so glad that you called, I was just...

I'm living with Michael right now

and he just sent me porn.

Whoa, kinky.

No, awkward.

He just sent it to me out of nowhere.

Yeah, that's a little weird.

- He just told me that I make him nervous.

- What? What does he mean?

I don't even know how to respond to this.

I mean, I'm just saying,

"that's nice of you to say."

Where's he going with all this?

- What the hell?

- What? What now?

"I've been wanting to talk to you

for a long time."

What is this guy's deal?

- Wait, he just sent me another link.

- Here we go.

Okay, this is getting super weird.

He just sent me a video of me

from high school.

Really? This guy's all over the place.

Holy sh*t, I totally forgot about this.

My mom posted this, like, forever ago.

Why did he send it to you?

- I don't know.

- How weird.

- I just asked him how he found it.

- Can't wait to hear this.

- "You can get anything on the Internet."

- Whoa, okay, creeper alert.

What is he doing?

Why were you sending me weird sh*t?

Wait, wait, wait, what?

I don't know what you're talking about,

I'm not even online.

Okay, are you serious? Is this a joke?

It's not funny, I was just talking to you.

Okay, first of all, calm down.

I haven't touched my computer all night,

so I don't know what's going on.

- Well, then who was it, Michael?

- I don't know.

Are you sure it came from my e-mail?

Yes, the one that we always talk on.

Okay, hold on, I'm checking now.

It wasn't from me, so...

Someone got into my account.

What? No. No, this person

knew stuff about me.

- Whatever, this is so weird, I gotta go.

- Hold on, wait, hold on.

Didn't you get hacked a few days ago?

What if someone hacked into my account...

like, to f*** with you or something?

I don't know.

- I gotta go.

- Really? What, you don't believe me...

Hey. Can we talk?

Yeah, no, now's not really a good time.

You know, I changed my password

and everything on my computer.

I might actually get a new one. So...

Yeah, yeah, that's good.

Look, I'm not trying to blow you off, it's

just this whole situation is scaring me...

and there's just a few things

I have to figure out, okay?

Yeah, totally. All right.

Yo, Felipe, hold up.

Hey.

Be careful about who you meet out there.

You really think it's some rando?

I don't know. I changed

my privacy settings on everything.

I'm gonna change my number

when my new phone gets here.

I'm not giving it out to anyone.

I mean, don't take this the wrong way,

but you kind of jump into things fast.

- Yeah.

- And Michael could just be another Alex.

I know, but now I feel like

I can't trust anyone.

Did you make sure

your bank account is okay?

Yeah, it's fine.

I called and told them to flag

my account for any weird activity...

and I'm gonna install this antivirus

program thing that I bought.

- Fifty dollars down the drain.

- That sucks.

Please enter your password.

You have one new voice message.

First voice message.

Emma, it's Chris Williams.

Haven't heard from you in a while.

Not sure if you got the e-mails

I sent you...

but your fellowship interview got

bumped to tomorrow morning at 9 a.m.

I'd get there a lit...

Message erased. End of new messages.

I just don't know why they're doing it.

Is there anyone you pissed off back home?

I don't think so.

No, and if I did piss someone off,

why can't they just say it?

Why are they hiding behind

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