Red State

RED STATE (2011)

What are you gonna do this weekend?

- I don't know. What are you doing?

- It's none of your business.

Did you finish that thing

for your Lit class?

No. It's due in like two weeks

or something.

Oh, sweetJesus in the morning.

Again with these people?

He's burnin' in hell!

Because, if what the framers

of our constitution mean...

What, Travis? Fifteen minutes?

If you prick me, do I not bleed?

Where you been?

I was dropping my grandma off

at the airport...

and on the way back the Five-Pointers

blocked up Lennox Hill.

Oh, so Abin Cooper's after you too now?

Yeah, and I ain't even gay.

Nah, you're not gay. You're just curious.

If anybody would know,

it would beJarod.

What?

All right, all right, all right.

So every once in a while

we add amendments to the Constitution...

to expand, or more importantly, define,

the parameters of our rights.

Like the First Amendment...

which Abin Cooper practiced this morning

on Lennox, making Travis late.

Those people are such a**holes.

Okay. I'm gonna let that ride

because this is a passionate issue...

and because, yes, they are a**holes.

Wait. Who's Abin Cooper?

He's that creepy church guy...

that's always saying

how God's all pissed off at everybody.

Yeah, him and his family are the ones...

that are always holding up signs

outside of funerals and stuff.

This was they were protesting the funeral...

of the gay kid who

got killed two weeks ago.

Yeah. Jacob Harlow.

He went here.

I didn't teach him, but he went here.

It was all over the news, right?

Jessie, I am both happy and sad...

that you don't know

who Abin Cooper is...

but, I mean, come on.

Abin Cooper

and the Five Points Trinity Church...

they're like right in our own backyard.

Come on, Mrs. Vasquez,

Cooper's Dell is like 30 minutes away.

Yeah. Too close.

Abin Cooper holds

our entire state up for ridicule.

All right?

Ultraconservatives avoid this guy.

Did you know last year the head of the

largest neo-Nazi faction in this country...

issued a statement

distancing his politics...

from Cooper's and Five Points'?

Even the Nazis think this guy

is "nuckin' futs."

All right, let's just hope that the Cooper

clan sticks with the First Amendment...

- Why?

- And stays away from the Second Amendment.

- What is the Second Amendment?

- We get guns.

What is this, man?

It's like Craigslist

for people who want to get f***ed.

I thought Craigslist was Craigslist

for people who want to get f***ed.

What kinda dirty sh*t you lookin' at, boy?

F***, f*ggot!

Touch my dick again and see what happens.

- Such an animal.

- They're all the same, man.

- You can't see any faces.

- Oh, sh*t. You showin' him?

Dude, get your f***in' flappers

outta here.

Yeah, look, it doesn't matter.

You can see the tits.

You can see the f***in' p*ssy, man.

F*** the faces.

How we know we wanna f*** the face

unless we can see what they look like?

- Right, thank you.

- You f***in' bag their head, man. All right?

Look, these b*tches wanna f***.

Even if they do wanna f***,

they're all in New York and LA.

Lots more in LA Look...

New York. LA.

- Road trip.

- LA.

- LA...

- I get the point, all right, but look.

This one's a little closer to home.

Holy sh*t! Cooper's Dell?

- Let me see.

- No f***in' way!

We're gettin' laid, boys.

How do we know she's gonna f*** us,

or even one of us?

I've been talking back and forth with one

for two weeks now.

She says she's interested.

F***in'...

I just got a little hard.

I don't wanna f***in' f***

some chick that he just stuck his dick in.

- Look, look...

- His greasy-assed f***in' dick.

It's not greasy.

There ain't gonna be no sloppy seconds,

boy, okay?

She wants to f***

all three of us at the same time.

- Jesus Christ.

- I call the ass.

You're not gettin' the f***in' ass.

What if this turns out to be one of them

Catch a Predator deals?

Who we preyin' on?

We're the f***in' minors here.

She's the one who says she's 38.

Jesus. It's gonna be like f***ing my mom.

I ain't sure it ain't

your mom, motherf***er.

- F*** you.

- I don't think I should go, man.

I'm having some doubts over here.

Oh, you're going.

You don't think the three of us

balling this woman in the same room...

is a little faggoty?

Jesus Christ, man.

Don't be so f***in' middle-class.

I'm gonna take the car out, all right?

No, no, no. Hey, we're gonna be

on TV in a minute. Watch.

This was the scene this morning

outside the funeral ofJacob Harlow...

the 19-year-old whose body

was found last week...

in a Dumpster behind a well-known gay bar

on Slattery Drive...

bound head-to-toe in plastic wrap.

Harlow is the latest victim

in a rash ofhate crimes...

that have rocked the city this year.

Pastor Abin Cooper and the members

ofhis Five Points Trinity Church...

staged their 432nd

funeral demonstration since 2001.

- This is Catherine Carlyle...

- Oh, oh, oh! There we are.

There we are.

- I'm sleeping with a TV star tonight.

- Yeah, you are.

How'd you know

we were gonna be on there?

Barbara called me.

She saw it on the 5:00 news.

So you gonna tell your friends

we're famous?

- Probably not.

- Smart ass.

Where you off to tonight?

I don't know. Just gonna drive around

with Jarod and Billy-Ray.

Probably go see a movie or something.

Fill up the tank before you bring it back.

- Can I get some money for gas?

- No.

Later.

So how are we gonna do this?

How do you mean?

Talkin' about how are you

gonna get under us.

- What are you talking about?

- Me and the lady.

You f***in'...

This is what happens when f***in' parents

block porn sites, man.

They make socially backwards kids.

How about you just pull over

and let me out.

Come on, man. You're being...

Oh, f***!

- You hit it.

- F***.

You f***in' hit it.

Why the f*** are we gettin' out?

It's so f***in' dark out

no one could see us if they were looking.

Holy sh*t! Look at your f***in' car.

Your f***in' car!

- Are you kidding me?

- Holy sh*t, man.

Dude, that's, like, a lot of... damage.

That sucks, man.

Who the f*** parks their car

on the side of the road like that?

You think there's somebody in there?

I don't know, man. Nobody's here.

Why the f*** did you stop?

Oh, f***. You got 'em real good.

- Holy f***!

- F***!

- F***!

- Get in the car! Get in the car!

They ain't following us.

Why in the f*** was that guy

on the side of the road?

Who cares, man?

Let's just keep f***in' going.

- My car's f***ed up, man!

- Well, guess what.

Your car's gonna be f***ed up

when you get home too.

So why don't we just keep going?

We're in Cooper's Dell already.

We'll hate ourselves tomorrow

if we don't do this.

- I'm not gonna hate myself.

- I'm gonna hate not getting that p*ssy...

so let's not take this little

fender-bender as a bad omen, boys.

Let's f***ing do this!

Lasso me some p*ssy!

She lives in a trailer?

You live in a trailer, motherf***er.

I was just askin'. Damn.

You Jarod?

This here is Travis, and that's Billy-Ray.

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