Religiosa Portuguesa, A Page #3

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If he receives it,

it's not thanks to my prayers.

So why pray?

To feel the presence of God.

See you soon.

I must go now.

But I'll come say goodbye

before I leave.

The scene is simple.

You receive the letter, read it,

let it fall and turn to the sea.

Then you exit the frame.

All right.

Quiet on the set.

We're about to roll.

Whenever you're ready, Denis.

Camera.

Clap.

Scene fourteen, shot one, take one.

Action.

Cut.

You've reached Alice and Thomas.

Leave a message after the beep.

Hello Alice and Thomas, it's Julie.

I'm calling from Lisbon,

where I'm doing a film.

I have something important

to discuss with you,

too complicated for a message.

Try me on my mobile,

or I'll call you back.

Speak to you soon.

Good evening.

Good evening.

Are you happy with your day?

Everything went well.

Has Martin left?

We took him straight to the airport.

It was close, but he made the plane.

Tonight he'll sleep in Paris.

What are you doing tonight?

Nothing special.

Let's paint the town of Lisbon.

We're shooting tomorrow.

Exactly. It'll put you in the mood.

If the director says so.

We'll be very reasonable.

I had the keys to life

But I did not open

The doors behind which

happiness lies

I had the keys to life

But I did not live

My whole life was a saudade

I had so many illusions

And I was betrayed

All my great hopes for love

were dashed

I don't know why I lament this life

If I don't even want another

If this is why I was born

If this is why I'm here

If this is all I deserve

I will not go

I will not go

Let them come

with their welcoming lips

Their fiery eyes

It's all over

The most beautifuI love may come

I will not go

I will not go

I had the keys to life

They stole from me

They killed the poetry inside me

They left me with only sadness

And fountains in my eyes

Which I never wanted

If this is why I was born

If this is why I'm here

If this is all I deserve

I will not go

I will not go

Let them come

with their welcoming lips

Their fiery eyes

It's all over

The most beautifuI love may come

I will not go

I will not go

I have a red shawI

A memory of you

An embroidered secret

I sometimes wear when I go out

It carries a lifetime in it

The way life marks a face

But it gives itself a new youth

On nights when I wear it

It's been a shroud and a flag

Even a boat's saiI

It carries a lifetime in it

But they say I wear it well

You may think I lost my way

On a well-worn path

To show you I haven't forgotten

I wear this red shawI

I have a red shawI

A memory of you

Thank you.

Good evening.

Good evening.

Are you alone?

More or less.

Would you like to dance?

No.

Then let's have a drink.

In another life,

it would be a pleasure.

We have to live here and now.

But here and now,

I have to be somewhere else.

So we'll never meet again.

I'm sure we will.

You are a reincarnation

of King D. Sebastiao.

I doubt that.

King D. Sebastiao didn't like women.

I adore them.

You've had four hundred years.

Tastes change.

So...

If I'm D. Sebastiao...

Next time we meet, it'll be a sign.

But we're here,

just inches from each other.

You must learn patience.

One can't outrun one's destiny.

- Stop here.

- Your hotel is further down.

No, stop here.

I'm happy.

You speak Portuguese.

Yes.

Easy.

How do you feel?

A bit dizzy.

But happy.

That's good.

I've come several times to see you.

Are you sure you came for me?

You are the one I saw.

Do you spend the night here?

I come in the evening,

and return to the convent for Matins.

Where is your convent?

Down the hill, then up again.

For a bird, it's very near.

When do you sleep?

Between Matins and Lauds.

So you almost never sleep.

I leave sleep to those who need it.

Like me.

Can we go to the altar?

What is you name?

Sister Joana.

I chose the name for Joan of Arc.

Do you plan to end a siege?

Yes.

You feel well enough to stand?

Yes, I feel much better.

What siege do you want to end?

The siege of God.

Where?

God is besieged in me.

Even in you?

Does that surprise you?

Yes.

And yet, we live in the same world.

Yes,

but I live in the secular world.

God is not locked in a convent.

I have known a great quantity

of profane loves.

There is but one love,

without quantity.

It varies only in quality.

I'm an actress.

I try to show the truth

through unreal things.

God did the same when

He created the world.

In the film, I play a nun

carrying on a carnal affair

within the walls of her convent.

During the reign of D. Alfonso VI.

Such things were common

in Portugal then.

More than elsewhere?

Yes.

That's when people stopped believing.

For once, Portugal was avant-garde.

What caused this progress?

People could no longer believe

D. Sebastiao would come back,

because there was a king

on the throne.

On feast days,

people were garroted

and burnt on the Rossio,

but no one considered them

to be God's enemies,

nor did they consider

the executioners his servants.

All that remained

was to believe in Reason.

That's when the siege of God began.

Why would Reason be

an enemy of God?

Because He is real

and Reason is not.

Reason exists neither in man

nor in the world,

and even less in God.

I thought I was a strong person.

You seem to be.

But I fainted.

Saint Teresa fainted too.

But she was conjuring the seraph.

Maybe you were too.

I dare not tell you why it happened.

You are free to tell me or not.

I was watching you...

and I saw you disappear.

Disappear?

Where your body had been,

there was emptiness.

Perhaps at that moment

I ended the siege of God.

And if you did?

I must have found myself

face to face with Him.

When we're face to face with Him,

we disappear?

I don't know how

it looks on the outside.

But inside,

being face to face with Him

means loving with all our being.

How is it different

from profane love?

There is only one love.

I've been searching for it always,

but I remain a prisoner of the world.

It can also be found in the world.

I've only loved flesh and blood.

In my prayers,

I seek the Word incarnate.

Have you found it?

At times, I believe so.

How can we receive God's love?

By loving till we no longer exist.

Is that what you did earlier?

I have no idea.

At times, I've desired death.

Death is not love.

When we disappear through loving,

we cease to be what we are not.

What do we become?

We become what we are.

And what do we find?

Life.

Finding life is what I desire

above all else.

Finding life is giving life.

Each of us does it in our own way.

I am but a piece of wood carried

by the river.

You're wrong.

What have I done?

You came here.

Will I find life here, in Lisbon?

If it is here that you learn to love.

To the point of disappearing?

To the point of giving life.

I carry no child inside me.

All of us, men and women,

carry a new life inside us.

Then I am someone else.

We are all many beings.

Here, I am the Portuguese nun.

Like me.

And here, I have loved.

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