Remainder Page #4

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Look.

'...year-long investigation,

police believe they have found the suspect

'behind the Sleets robbery

and multiple killings.

'Christopher Williams

was murdered last week

'in what police suspect was retribution.

'Although police matched his silver pistol

and mask to the ones used in the robbery,

'Mrs Williams continues

to protest her son's innocence.

'Katie Razzal in Brixton.'

I want you to get

plans of the bank for me.

Oh, Sleets, eh? Wasn't that the bank

that got robbed last year?

Yeah.

Crazy Yardie topped his mates

and ran off with the dosh.

Did the coppers ever nab him?

- They killed him.

- Did they?

Let me get this straight.

You want to give me shitload of money

to re-enact the robbery,

but you're not going to film it?

No. It's just research.

We'd like to know how it happened.

Oh, well, the principle's the same.

It's like I say in my book,

a bank robbery is like a theatre play.

There's a script, there's a stage

and there are actors.

Shall we get started?

Lights!

Nice.

So, you want to see a quick demonstration?

OK, boys, masks down, tools up.

Oh, no, no, no. Get a wriggle on.

You're robbing a bank,

not shopping for condoms! Back you go.

Make no mistake, when you enter the bank,

you're setting off a chain,

which will lead

to someone calling the cops.

Your goal is to execute the script quickly

and to leave the stage healthy.

And wealthy. OK!

F***!

- I hope they're not real!

- They're blanks.

Now, well done, but look.

This is your Sistine Chapel.

Express yourself!

Write your name on the architecture!

Yes! Beautiful!

OK, Number 2,

get them to lay down on the carpet.

OK, we need your full cooperation.

You're Tony Montana! You're a psycho!

Put the fear of God into 'em!

- Get on the f***ing floor!

- Lovely!

Now, Three and Four, they do the tellers.

Come on! Chop, chop!

That's it! Put a gun to their face!

Any more robbing

and your set will disintegrate.

It needs to be more real.

More like the real bank.

You're hired.

OK, boys.

Back to the beginning.

Got a lot of work to do.

Who's got the f***ing keys?

Give me the keys now or I'll shoot you!

- OK, stop!

- 58 seconds.

Gather.

What's the matter, Miss? Why won't you

let this gentleman have your key?

We don't have keys, sir.

The doors open with cards.

F***ing right!

Remember, if you want something,

you grab it!

Always avoid a standoff.

Always keep moving. You got it?

- Yeah.

- Yes, boss.

Right, from the top.

'Three, two, one, go.'

Get down! Get on the f***ing floor!

Give your phones now!

Get your phones out!

You put the wrong number in

and I'll f***ing shoot your dick off!

Put it in! Quickly!

Choose the right one, man!

- Quickly!

- Move, move, move!

Turn the lock! Quickly!

Any tricks, you're dead!

- Move! Come on!

- Come on! Move it! Come on!

- We used to do this too, you know.

- Do what?

Rehearse. We didn't just plan it on paper.

Oh, it's beautiful.

We were so well drilled,

when the big day came, the whole thing,

it went like clockwork.

- F***ing quickly!

- Come on! Quicker than that!

Get the f***ing door! Hands on your head!

- Come on!

- Hands on your head!

- Don't move! Don't move!

- Oi!

Get off, you fat prick! F***!

You're acting like a bunch of d*ckheads!

Oi, shut up!

- F*** you, dwarf!

- Can I have a set dresser?

Wait... Wait, don't touch it.

That was good.

That was real. That was perfect.

I want you to stumble on that kink

every time you run through.

- Every time?

- Yeah.

But don't fall. Just... reach out

with your foot and stumble a bit.

Then keep running.

Well, you heard the boss, ladies.

Back to your places.

There's something wrong

with that kid's brain!

Put your f***ing hands on your head!

No! No, no.

- Are you trying to f*** me?

- F*** you, you dwarf!

All right, listen to the boss, will you?

It's simple, OK?

Number 3, don't overdo it.

Number 4, don't stop.

You, stumble, recover.

Continue.

And you just...

...flank him.

- Sorry, sir, did you say, "Flank him"?

- Yeah, yeah, flank me, b*tch.

Like a steak, chop-chop.

Come on. Back in your box.

- Come on, lads.

- When you're done, come on his face.

I'm defriending you on Facebook

when I get home.

- That's it!

- Five minutes, five seconds.

That's good enough for Hollywood,

but too slow for life.

Well, how long should it take?

Well, it depends on location,

traffic conditions,

but generally speaking

anything over five minutes, mate,

and you're cattled.

I'll go sort the boys out.

I want it more detailed. Everything.

Look at the walls. They're not right.

That lift should be metallic and...

and the lights around the perimeter.

You know, if, if the details aren't right,

then it doesn't work, especially outside.

The sounds are flat

and the sky, it's too clear.

I want... clouds.

How long will it take?

'Thank you for calling Sleets.

How may I direct your call?'

Hi. This is Greg Simpson

from Olanger & Daubenay.

I'm trying to reach Catherine Sullivan.

'Oh, I'm afraid Ms Sullivan's

called in sick today.'

May I ask what this is in reference to?

I have two gentlemen from the police.

They're trying to find a client of ours

who seems to have disappeared.

Ms Sullivan may have been

the last person that's seen him.

I can't give out her number,

but would you like me to try it?

No. No, that's fine. Thanks a lot.

Mr Simpson, did you client

ever mention a suitcase?

No. What sort of suitcase?

A black trolley. It's about this...

Mr Simpson, thanks very much indeed

for your help,

and we'll be in touch

if we need anything else.

Can I just ask?

This is a really nice paperclip.

Is it real gold?

Erm... it's 18 carat.

- May I keep it?

- Yeah, knock yourself out, mate.

Thank you. Bye-bye.

'What sort of suitcase?

It's probably just a mistake.'

Listen, I'm going back to work next week.

If they come, I'll talk to them.

Greg...

What did you tell them about me?

Stop it!

Why did you come back, Cath?

Did you come back for love?

Or was it for the moolah?

Nice place, Greg.

I hope you like living alone.

Don't go! Wait, Catherine!

I'll always love you.

- Hello?

- I was just about to call you, actually.

The new sky's arrived.

I think you're going to be happy with it.

And also we've finally got them

down to five minutes...

Naz, listen to me. I have an idea.

I want you to transfer our robbery

to the actual bank.

Well, that'd be brilliant, yes,

but they'd never allow it.

I mean, even if we offer them a large fee,

banks are usually very...

Without a fee. We don't need to tell them.

But you're talking about Sleets of Holborn?

The actual bank. Am I wrong?

Yes, you're absolutely right,

but I don't want them to know about it.

They're not going to let us perform there.

'We don't ask them. We give our bankers

a day off and we use their staff instead.'

But if we use their staff,

they won't know they're taking part...

It doesn't make any difference.

Their staff and our staff have been trained.

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