Rent Page #3

(ROGER lights it again.)

ROGER:

Why don't you forget that stuff

You look like you're sixteen

MIMI:

I'm nineteen but I'm old for my age

I'm just born to be bad

ROGER:

I once was born to be bad

I used to shiver like that

MIMI:

I have no heat - I told you

ROGER:

I used to sweat

MIMI:

I got a cold

ROGER:

Uh huh

I used to be a junkie

MIMI:

But now and then I like to

ROGER:

Uh huh

MIMI:

Feel good

ROGER:

Here it - um

(ROGER stoops and picks up a small object: MIMI's stash)

MIMI:

What's that?

ROGER:

It's a candy bar wrapper

(ROGER puts it behind his back and into his pocket)

MIMI:

We could light the candle

(ROGER discreetly blows out the candle)

MIMI:

What'd you do with my candle?

ROGER:

That was my last match

MIMI:

Our eyes'll adjust, thank God for the moon

ROGER:

Maybe it's not the moon at all

I hear Spike Lee's shooting down the street

MIMI:

Bah humbug ... Bah humbug

(MIMI places her hand under his, pretending to do it by accident)

ROGER:

Cold hands

MIMI:

Yours too

Big. Like my father's

You wanna dance?

ROGER:

With you?

MIMI:

No -- with my father

ROGER:

I'm Roger

MIMI:

They call me

They call me Mimi

(They come extremely close to a kiss. MIMI reaches into his pocket, nabs

the stash, waves it in front of his face, and makes a sexy exit)

"VOICE MAIL #2"

(JOANNE's loft. In blackout another phone rings. We see MAUREEN in

silhouette)

MAUREEN:

Hi. You've reached Maureen and Joanne. Leave a message and don't forget

"Over the Moon" -- My performance, protesting the eviction of the Homeless

(and artists) from the Eleventh Street Lot. Tonight at midnight in the lot

between A and B. Party at Life Cafe to follow (BEEP)

MR. JEFFERSON

Well, Joanne -- We're off

I tried you at the office

And they said you're stage managing or something

MRS. JEFFERSON

Remind her that those unwed mothers in Harlem

Need her legal help too

MR. JEFFERSON

Call Daisy for our itinerary or Alfred at Pound Ridge

Or Eileen at the state department in a pinch

We'll be at the spa for new year's

Unless the senator changes his mind

MRS. JEFFERSON

The hearings

MR. JEFFERSON

Oh yes Kitten

Mummy's confirmation hearing begins on the tenth

We'll need you alone - by the sixth

MRS. JEFFERSON

Harold!

MR. JEFFERSON

You hear that?

It's three weeks away

And she's already nervous

MRS. JEFFERSON

I am not!

MR. JEFFERSON

For Mummy's sake, Kitten

No Doc Martens this time and wear a dress

Oh, and Kitten -- have a merry

MRS. JEFFERSON

And a bra

"TODAY 4 U (The loft)"

(MARK and ROGER's loft)

MARK:

Enter Tom Collins, computer genius, teacher, vagabond anarchist, who ran

naked through the Parthenon

(COLLINS carries ANGEL's pickle tub, now filled with provisions)

MARK & COLLINS

Bustelo - Marlboro

Banana by the bunch

A box of Captain Crunch will taste so good

COLLINS:

And firewood

MARK:

Look - it's Santa Claus

COLLINS:

Hold your applause

ROGER:

Oh hi

COLLINS:

'Oh hi' after seven months?

ROGER:

Sorry

COLLINS:

This boy could use some Stoli

COLLINS, MARK & ROGER

Oh holy night

ROGER:

You struck gold at MIT?

COLLINS:

They expelled me for my theory of Actual Reality

Which I'll soon impart

To the couch potatoes at New York University

Still haven't left the house?

ROGER:

I was waiting for you, don't you know?

COLLINS:

Well, tonight's the night

Come to the Life Cafe after Maureen's show

ROGER:

No flow

COLLINS:

Gentlemen, our benefactor on this Christmas Eve

Whose charity is only matched by talent, I believe

A new member of the Alphabet City avant-garde

Angel Dumott Schunard!

(ANGEL sashays in. He's gorgeously done up in Santa drag, with a fan of

twenty-dollar bills in each hand)

ANGEL:

Today for you - tomorrow for me

Today for you - tomorrow for me

COLLINS:

And you should hear her beat!

MARK:

You earned this on the street?

ANGEL:

It was my lucky day today on Avenue A

When a lady in a limousine drove my way

She said, "Dahling be a dear haven't slept in a year

I need your help to make my neighbor's yappy dog disappear"

"This Akita-Evita just won't shut up

I believe if you play non-stop that pup

Will breathe its very last high-strung breath

I'm certain that cur will bark itself to death"

Today for you - tomorrow for me

Today for you - tomorrow for me

We agreed on a fee - A thousand dollar guarantee

Tax-free - and a bonus if I trim her tree

Now who could foretell that it would go so well

But sure as I am here that dog is now in doggy hell

After an hour - Evita - in all her glory

On the window ledge of that 23rd story

Like Thelma & Louise did when they got the blues

Swan dove into the courtyard of the Gracie Mews

Today for you - tomorrow for me

Today for you - tomorrow for me

(ANGEL does a fabulous drum and dance solo)

Then back to the street where I met my sweet

Where he was moaning and groaning on the cold concrete

The nurse took him home for some mercurochrome

And I dressed his wounds and got him back on his feet

Sing it!

Today for you - tomorrow for me

Today for you - tomorrow for me

Today for you - tomorrow for me

Today for you - tomorrow for me

"YOU'LL SEE"

(BENNY enters)

BENNY:

Joy to the world

Hey, you bum yeah, you, move over

Get your ass off that range rover

MARK:

That attitude toward the homeless is just what

Maureen is protesting tonight.

(Holding camera up to BENNY)

Close up:
Benjamin Coffin the third, our ex-roommate who married Alison

Grey, of the Westport Greys - then bought the building and the lot next door

from his father-in-law in hopes of starting a cyber-studio

BENNY:

Maureen is protesting

Losing her performance space

Not my attitude

ROGER:

What happened to Benny

What happened to his heart

And the ideals he once pursued?

BENNY:

The owner of that lot next door

Has a right to do with it as he pleases

COLLINS:

Happy birthday, Jesus!

BENNY:

The rent

MARK:

You're wasting your time

ROGER:

We're broke

MARK:

And you broke your word - this is absurd

BENNY:

There is one way you won't have to pay

ROGER:

I knew it!

BENNY:

Next door, the home of Cyberarts, you see

And now that the block is re-zoned

Our dream can become a reality

You'll see boys

You'll see boys

A state of the art, digital, virtual interactive studio

I'll forego your rent and on paper guarantee

That you can stay here for free

If you do me one small favor

MARK:

What?

BENNY:

Convince Maureen to cancel her protest

MARK:

Why not just get an injunction or call the cops

BENNY:

I did, and they're on stand by

But my investors would rather

I handle this quietly

ROGER:

You can't quietly wipe out an entire tent city

Then watch 'It's a Wonderful Life' on TV!

BENNY:

You want to produce films and write songs?

You need somewhere to do it!

It's what we used to dream about

Think twice before you pooh-pooh it

You'll see boys

You'll see boys

You'll see - the beauty of a studio

That lets us do our work and get paid

With condos on the top

Whose rent keeps open our shop

Just stop the protest

And you'll have it made

You'll see - or you'll pack

(BENNY exits)

ANGEL:

That boy could use some prozac

Rate this script:3.6 / 7 votes