Return Page #2
Mostly I saw a giant
amount of supplies.
Did you ever see
a plane full of rubber gloves?
Nope.
But, yeah...
there was
weird sh*t there.
Really, really weird sh*t.
There's like tons of dead
animals on the side of the road
and everybody knows somebody...
Anyway.
Now all the cups are where
the f***ing plates should go
and it's...
weird.
Did you have an affair?
No!
Jesus, you guys and your stupid
f***ing questions.
Some of... some of...
some of those
guys are hot.
Hey, party girl.
Hi, I made coffee.
Good for you.
- Yeah, I need it.
- Yeah.
Oh...
Did you sleep with
the kids again last night?
Mm-hmm.
Doesn't that hurt
your back?
Eh...
A little.
Well, you know,
the bed's nice.
You might like it.
Well, you better
snap to it, soldier.
Eh!
Mike.
Oh, you're killing me.
Rough night?
This is f***ing stupid.
What?
It's just
a giant waste of time.
I can't do it anymore.
- What do you mean?
- I just can't do it.
End of this month, it's gonna be
too late, you've gotta get...
Wait.
I can't.
What do you mean, what?
I can't.
What, Kelli?
What?
What, it can't even wait for me
to get off the phone?
- I just can't do it.
- What can't you do?
You can't do inventory,
or shipping?
What'd I do?
What, did Ed say
something wrong?
Suddenly you're
the sensitive type?
I didn't say anything.
Nah, it's not that.
I've kept your job
open for a year,
you've been
working for me for 12 years.
I would like to know
the reason.
You're just upset.
Whoo!
Hee-hee!
Finally, babe,
people in this town
need some goddamn
plumbing done.
Yeah!
Underground routing at
Goodwin's Car Wash.
Underground, baby.
It's leaking, it's all shot
to sh*t, and they know it.
They know it's
gonna cost them, too.
I tried to tell them about,
like, I'm sorry for 'em,
y'know, real serious,
like I was worried about 'em,
but they said yes!
All new pipes!
How was your day,
how's work?
Ahh... No, I got it.
- I took the day off.
- Yeah.
Oh, my God, oh, my God.
It's a whole...
it's a whole underground system.
I mean, it could take two weeks,
serious billable cash.
How come you
didn't go to work?
No reason.
Personal day.
Yeah.
Yeah, you could use it.
Yeah.
Goddamn,
I gotta get a beer.
Hey.
Finally got
the girls to sleep.
Boy.
You all right?
Can I ask you
some stuff?
Yeah.
Okay, what kind of stuff?
Well, you know, Shannon's been
real worried about you.
And...
Well, I just want you to
know that...
I don't know, if...
if you did do something
over there,
or saw something
or did something
of a personal nature...
A personal nature?
Well, I just would
rather know, okay?
I would rather know if you did,
I'm not saying you did.
Whatever.
I just... I know all kinds of
things can happen...
... like with your
unit or anything.
Well, Shannon, sure as sh*t,
wouldn't understand anything.
I can tell you that
right now.
What, Kel,
understand what?
Nothing.
So that's it?
Yeah.
All right.
All right, there is
this one thing
that I didn't tell you about
that I should have told you
about before.
I don't know,
I, uh, I just found...
I just... it's stupid, but I
just... I couldn't do it anymore,
so... I quit.
You quit what,
quit the Guard?
No, no, no, no, no,
I still have that.
I just...
At the warehouse.
I quit.
You quit your job?
Yeah, it's not
my fault, I...
How is it not your fault?
It just doesn't mean anything,
you know, it doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter?
- Really?
- No, that came out wrong.
Kel, listen.
I've been playing
Mr. Mom over here, okay,
covered in f***ing puke
and baby sh*t
and we can't sit around
and hope that some a**hole
gets enough hair in his shower
and needs me to come over
and snake it out.
It does matter.
I think it matters.
You have no plan, okay?
You need to
get a plan.
- Hey.
- Hi.
Come on.
A man can't
kiss his own wife?
- Come on.
- No...
No, I'm sorry,
this is not true.
This is not
even a topic anymore.
- We all agree on this...
- Yeah, we agree but we don't.
I'm actually just calling
to let you know about
a very special offer.
I'm in Ohio.
Uh-huh.
Oh, no, ma'am.
Yes, I do know where Bangalore
is, and I am not there.
I'm here in the USA.
And I'm just calling to let you
on deep carpet shampooing.
Build your new deck,
home addition,
whole building or garage
and we offer the largest
selection of
all colors and models of
garage doors and openers.
Call to arrange your free
estimate today
downspouts with any building.
See you later.
Bye.
... Portage, Summit
and Stark Counties since 1995.
The most fantastic...
Come on, come on,
come on, come on.
Don't you think it's
a little much,
just hanging out
in the living room all day?
It's okay.
It might be fine to get a job
outside the house, you know?
Yeah, like where?
Hmm.
Stop.
No!
- Come on.
- Huh?
Whoo!
Stop!
Stop, Michael!
I don't like it.
You don't like it,
you don't like it?
Oh, yeah,
what about this?
Stop.
Stop it.
All right,
stop it, come on.
Stop.
- Stop!
- All right.
- God.
- Sorry.
- I'm sorry.
- No.
- I'm sorry.
- No.
Sorry.
I don't know.
Hello.
Looking pretty empty
in here.
Oh, yeah.
Hi, Kel, how are you?
I'd like to come back
and work for you, sir.
And I've been thinking very long
and hard about my behavior,
and I sincerely
do apologize for how I acted
and I can understand
if you're mad.
I really need a job.
Yeah, well...
Come here, I want to
show you something.
I didn't think it
would happen so fast.
We got a buyer for the land
and it's not a lot.
Pays better than
ventilators, so, uh...
so we're selling it off.
I mean, everything, too.
Everything's sold,
even the shelves.
I don't who, but...
So it's just down to
me and Ed now.
It's pretty far down.
Yeah.
There's something else
I want to show you.
Come on over here.
Well...
hopefully you could
sell those, too.
Are those yours?
Yeah, mm-hmm.
Yeah, my... my wife won't let me
have them at home.
Do people
even buy pigeons?
Yeah, well, you know, I...
I figured you can
figure it out.
All right.
What was
your technique?
Well, the first one,
and I just was
eating as fast as I could
and then I remembered
about the dipping
because I had read online that
that's what they do in the...
The hot dog-eating
contest, right, right.
Well, the dipping makes
it more mushy,
like a pile of chocolate mush
so it's easier to just swallow,
so you just...
You can
almost drink it.
- Yeah.
- Well, Nancy...
Your... her name is
Nancy Cummings.
You still hold the record of
Congratulations.
- Yay!
- Why thank you very much.
So proud.
- All right.
- Okay.
You're a failure to...
Hey.
You left the door
wide open.
- I saw your van.
- What about it?
I saw your van today.
Hey, Kel,
we were just talking.
Really?
What are you
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"Return" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 19 Dec. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/return_16839>.
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