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No more moving or regretting.

Its only two hours from the city.

I like the city.

It would mean giving up

going anywhere else.

This is where I would sit.

And I would never leave.

What does he do your friend?

How did he make the money to have this?

He writes essays.

He writes essays and makes money?

From essays?

No stupid hes a lawyer.

He sues people.

He gets up early in the morning

and he sues people.

Was that a joke about the essays?

I think I would have to spend

a night out here on my own

to see how it feels.

Maybe its too remote too beautiful

too frightening in the dark.

Could we change things now?

Change what?

- Change our lives?

Or decide that we should?

- No no.

Listen. Listen to me.

Im with someone

but I would leave her. - Dont say it.

- I would leave her this second.

And then what move in with me?

Take me to Berlin?

Cant we have a second chance?

We could live together like we did then.

We never lived together.

You were always elsewhere

always on the move.

Maybe we are wiser now.

I wont make that mistake again.

Youre not wise at all are you?

What do you mean?

Tell me about you.

Since we last met?

Whatever. Tell me about your life.

Leave me out of it.

But how? It will always be us.

Not your work or your writing?

No its you.

Women.

There will always be women.

Go on.

- Its of no importance.

Im happy now. Happy to be here.

Happy.

After we split up

or however you would call it

I met someone.

Oh? Someone youre still seeing?

Please dont ask any questions.

Just let me talk.

Then I wont talk again.

I was just... - Ive been waiting

to see you so I could tell you this.

Maybe...

Maybe youre the only one

I needed to know this.

I moved very close to him

I mean I lived with him

and I thought that we would manage

our lives together but...

natural and easy too

happy.

Youre still seeing him?

He died.

Marcus died.

God...

I can hardly say it still.

What age was he?

God he was young.

It was a heart attack.

He had it on the street.

He fell down dead.

That is what happened.

You know he died and I didnt know

or feel you know?

He was in the same city.

I didnt feel...

We lived on Bleecker Street.

He had found his habitat

and that was all he wanted me to

be there the chairs the desk the bed.

He was a lawyer too.

He loved loopholes

strange new ways

of looking at a contract like...

the same way as he liked chess

and minimalist art and some jazz and...

He had only one suit.

Always wore

the same type of white shirt.

I loved being with him

when he was asleep.

He had a way of waking up

and then looking at you

half apologizing.

Youre shivering.

I often feel in places like this

you know

the soft places the edge of things

when its like this in the winter

that he might be here

or come here.

Like he came across the room to me

in that bar.

and said nothing looked at me

and sipped his drink

and made clear to me

that he wasnt going to go.

Is that why we came here?

No.

No.

Its not why we came here but...

I mean I needed to tell you

what happened

no?

I know you thought

something else might happen.

I could see when you were in that house

that you dont just dream in your books

you dream in your life.

But you cannot dream about me.

But last night

and this morning

I felt... You felt something too.

Oh dont tell me what I felt.

But youre free now.

Free is not the word. Youre alone.

- But... - But you...

I am not free.

Is there someone else?

- No.

I mean thats what Im...

Thats what Im saying.

I went straight back to work

after he died.

There was a case

and it couldnt have been postponed

and I was the only one briefed.

Then I took on more work

and then I got head hunted

which is a good way of putting it.

Finally when I found that I

hadnt stopped working for a year

I went to the therapist

who was so frightened at the state

I was in that she sent me to a shrink

like a real doctor.

We tried talking

but I make a living from talking.

I mean we tried medication.

I didnt take it.

In the end he used hypnosis on me.

Have you ever done it?

No.

That is a shock.

That is the biggest shock Ive ever had

I mean Max...

I went into Marcuss mind

as he lay dying.

You know...

It was as though I was with him

you know and not beside him

but in his mind too.

It was as though he had taken me

with him or part of me or...

and left the rest of me

what you see now you know? I mean...

I was with him.

I felt what he felt.

I died as he died.

Max.

You know the summer after you left

you sent me letters.

You said you were traveling.

I was really puzzled by that

I thought you were taken up

by the new Berlin

and then we had these talks

from your hotel rooms and...

I never knew why

you werent in New York.

You know

I wanted you to be in New York.

I didnt want you to be in Sienna

or in Florence or...

But you didnt care.

You were fooling around werent you?

It wasnt serious was it?

It was just a story

you could tell years later no?

Tell me that its true.

Please tell me.

tell me for once something thats true

you know.

Why didnt you come back to New York?

I was distracted.

There was so much going on.

I was poor...

I let the year go by and...

- And?

And there was someone on a book tour.

She got pregnant.

She wanted to keep the child

a girl.

Do you see her?

- Of course I see her.

I love her very much.

And shes how old?

Shes 16 now.

It happened

the first winter after I left.

So...

Why didnt you ever tell me?

I didnt want to harm you.

Oh...

You know that's

what I liked about you.

That you didnt mean any harm.

You never meant any harm.

Things just happened.

I never knew what you saw in me.

I wanted you to be

the father of my children.

Its been taken care of sir.

Oh thank you.

Hi, this is Clara

and if you love me, leave me a message.

Hi, this is Clara

and if you love me, leave me a message.

Hey Lindsey its Max...

Do you have Claras address?

How long have you been living here?

All the time.

Over a kebab shop.

Thats what Ive been smelling

all the time!

Max dont start.

Its in the pillows its all over the

bed. The sexy smell of cooking kebab.

I didnt want you to come here.

I should have come the first day.

I was careless.

Im sorry Clara.

What I loved about you was...

was that you knew so much.

I loved that you were older than me.

I still do.

I was happy when you suggested

that I go to New York

and got me this job.

But not once on the phone

did you ask me about my work.

What exactly Im doing here.

I learned a lot of stuff: that the city

if you are alone is a dump

your work everybody thinks you got it

because your guy said

you were to have it.

was grateful for Rodericks help.

We had a lot of fun.

He helped me survive the city.

Its fine in taxis moving from

one place to another

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