Rewind This! Page #2

or the only brother.

I don't know if this is

the pride of my collection.

This is the tape that I've

gotten the most fun

out of recently.

It's called

Bubba Until it Hurts.

"It's for men and women...

It's not just

another pretty workout."

3, and 4, and 5, and 6, and...

"Unlike many exercise programs,

Bubba Until it Hurts

utilizes a minimum of jumping."

"The lack of jumping

up and down

makes this program ideal

for apartment house dwellers."

It's just like, why would you

put that on your VHS?

Like why would that ever be

a marketing point?

And at the end he goes,

he's like

"Now that you've met my friends,

let's get to work...

I love you."

He says "I love you."

"I love you,

now let's get to work."

It is like, "Whoa, Bubba Smith,

not until it hurts, please."

In order to get to it,

You've got to go through it.

I love you and welcome to

Until it Hurts.

We have my favorite movie here,

I have Heavenly Bodies.

Three copies of it.

If you love aerobics,

if you love Canadian features,

this is exactly where

you need to go.

Rolling Vengeance, see,

it's coming right at ya there.

It's even got a drill

right in front,

because it's f***in' badass.

This is one of my

prized possessions.

The Leslie Nielsen

Bad Golf Made Easier,

signed by Leslie Nielsen.

I don't know if you can get in

on the gold signature

of the man himself.

Stand directly

in your opponent's line,

and lean imperceptibly

to one side or another

as he tries to read the break.

This is a movie called

Death Rider.

This is a shot-on-video western.

And it is really one of the most

impossibly...

hypnotically awkward things

that you will ever see.

I thought

you were dead, Clayton.

No, that's my brother you're

talkin' about.

And it's kind of

a passion project

by this guy Ronald Koontz,

who is the lead actor, writer,

director, editor, cameraman,

and he 'proudced' the film.

Probably my favorite 'proudcer'

is Ronald Koontz.

Now I'm getting into

all the ones that I gasp about.

The Windows 95 Easy Instruction

Video Guide,

featuring Matthew Perry

and Jennifer Aniston

in character.

Because this was

right when Friends started.

So it's all this, like,

"Oh really? You click

on the start window?"

That is pathetic.

When I first started,

I was like,

"Oh man, dude,

I have 80 movies."

It was just, like,

phenomenal to me

that I could, like,

pick through 80 movies.

But then I got to 500 and...

pretty soon I go to 1,000.

Zombies, occult, supernatural,

slasher movies.

I got a slasher closet

over there.

If there's at least three movies

that I can categorize together,

I'm like, "Okay, that can be

a sub-genre.

So I have one right now,

it's got four movies

and it's about homeless horror.

Get a job, loser,

you sh*t your f***in' pants.

So, that's

a little sub-genre I have.

I've learned a lot about

culture in general,

just by doing all these

little sub-sections.

There's a lot of things

you have to search out.

A lot of things

you have to look for,

not even knowing

what you're looking for.

And you might find

something that

you never knew was out there.

The video revolution

began in Japan in the mid-70's,

when the engineers at Sony

began to develop a tape format.

And at the same time,

the engineers at JVC,

they developed their own.

Back then, you know,

everything was Betamax/VHS.

And so, you went to a store,

there was always both formats.

Ridiculously,

they used to charge

$3 more for a VHS tape,

because you were

buying more plastic.

Really nothing happened

in any numbers until '79,

when it began to explode.

Both formats were originally

head-to-head,

fighting for the supremacy.

And it was sort of thought

that maybe

both could exist together.

Which proved not to be the case.

I, of course, bought Beta.

So, you know, wasted

all these zillions of videos,

that I bought

in the Beta format.

And, of course, Beta went

bye-bye very soon after.

If you're looking at

videocassette recorders,

and you're confused

by all your choices

just look at the most

important feature of all,

The picture.

And Sony Betamax records

a sharper picture than VHS.

Beta was technically superior,

but, it had one huge flaw,

which was that it was

only one hour long.

VHS format was two hours long.

VHS videocassettes play longer,

which can save you money.

Big deal.

One of my closest friends is

Robert A. Harris,

the restorationist.

And he was always talking

about the latest technologies.

He was keeping me alerted

about the war

between Beta and VHS,

and how the cheaper one

was gonna win,

because the public

just doesn't give a sh*t.

He was correct.

When I rented

The Last Unicorn on Beta,

and stuck it in my grandmother's

VHS player.

That was not good.

That's when I

understood the difference

between VHS and Beta.

'Cause I didn't get to watch

The Last Unicorn that night.

For any TV show, like, whatever,

any new show

that's out right now,

of course their goal is

"Well this is gonna be on DVD,

it's gonna be on Hulu,

it's gonna be watched

forever and ever."

But back then,

they didn't really realize that.

Oh, and you've missed

your football on TV.

Anything for you, Mom.

- Oh, you are a good boy.

- Bye!

When you have a

Phillips television recorder,

you don't have

to miss anything.

The Phillips

television recorder

records TV when

you can't watch.

So you can replay anytime.

Who the...

The Phillips

television recorder.

Mums.

I don't think any

member of the audience

actually said,

"Gee, I need a machine

that will help me

control my schedule."

But once the machine was made,

then they came up with

concept of time-shifting,

and that was a concept

that really worked.

That you could actually

shift the TV schedule around.

They've made it

so simple to use,

the cat can operate it.

Kitties, I want you to record

an ITV program at 10:30.

Sony C6. So simple,

the cat can use it.

The TiVo age only exists,

because we were raised with VHS.

Because we were

the first generation that could

be sent to bed with a promise,

"It'll be here tomorrow

when you get up."

That changed our relationship

with television.

I discovered that, uh...

I could program the VCR.

That was, like, a big day...

You know for me,

Like, as a nine year-old

to get around the

parental controls

and tape R-rated things.

You can watch your TV shows

when you wanna watch it.

That's the advertising campaign

that really pushed Betamax

to the top of the heap,

and was a big success

for two years,

until VHS caught up with them.

With an even better

reason to buy it,

because they could

record longer.

Suppose it's over three hours.

Relax, Panasonic VHS tapes

up to four hours

of sports, movies, specials,

on one cassette.

VHS used that

to actually win out

in the format war with Sony.

At a certain moment in time,

people were like,

"I don't like that you can

share this thing with people.

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