Rewind This! Page #8

I forget where everything is.

So, a lot of times I have to

reshoot something if I want it.

It takes too long to

fast-forward,

rewind to find that.

So I say,

"I'll just do it over again."

And it turns out pretty good

the second time.

Go ahead and stab the knife

in my chest, Sodom,

go ahead, right in my heart.

Why not?

I got ideas comin' outta

my head, man, I'm 55!

What's wrong with you guys

sayin' you're old,

when you're like my age,

or younger! You're not old!

Don't tell me, "Oh, I'm 48,

I'm gettin' too old fer this."

Man, you're just a kid!

Get motivated!

You know, some of you will say,

"Oh, you gotta do it digitally."

Yeah, digital schmidgital!

I don't need a computer

to make a movie,

I never have!

I just shoot the dang thing.

If you got a video camera,

stick a blank tape in that machine,

and film the dang thing!

Quit makin' excuses,

"Well, I don't have

all this money.

I need a budget so I can buy

all this digital equipment."

Use what ya got!

"Well I didn't go

to film school,

I don't know if my movies

are gonna be good er not."

Don't worry about it!

Just listen to your heart

and you do it!

You take charge

of your own vision!

And don't worry

what other people think!

And don't let your mom talk you

outta makin' monster movies!

I told my mom, I said.

My mom said,

"David I wish you'd grow up,

and do somethin' more

constructive with your time!"

I said, "Mom, you can't stop me

from makin' movies,

because you know

I'm gonna do it anyway!"

The infamous glitch that all

video store owners know.

When you're watching and there's

a glitch, and you're like,

"Oh, it's gonna get nude

in two seconds."

Here's a news flash, nudity was

gigantic with teenage boys.

It was a big thing

back in the 80's.

Watching a video tape as a kid,

when you can

start to see the lines

rolling through the picture

you know that someone's watched

it a lot at that point,

and you know that there's

gonna be tits coming on soon.

You get ready, you sit up

in your chair, 'cause you think,

"Holy sh*t, some f***in'

weird pervert

has watched this part

so many times

that I'm ready

for the money shot."

When you watch a VHS tape,

there's almost like a archeology

Where there's history written

into the physical material

of the thing itself.

You get to see the parts that

are really beat up.

You know that someone

rewound that

and watched it over and over.

It's like the part

where there's b*obs

or the part where

the guy explodes.

You know that was

someone's favorite part

and they couldn't get enough.

That was the first, I think,

anybody had the power

over being able to see b*obs,

again and again and again

and again and again.

Cable had been

a reality in our lives,

so you could see b*obs...

but then they were gone.

And they were just

a golden memory.

I had a video tape of

Kentucky Fried Movie

and I lent it to a friend.

And when he gave it back,

it was like,

every 10 minutes or something,

it would just go

And I'd be like, "You watched

all those nude scenes

over and over again

in one weekend!

Because now my tape is ruined.

But it's also kind of funny.

And whenever I watch it, I can

think of you being gross...

and hilarious."

My Ghostbusters tape, I bet

people can't even make out

the whole scene where he goes,

"I came, I saw,

I kicked some ass"

because I thought that was

the greatest sh*t ever

I rewound that scene,

I was like,

"Whoa, he kicked some ass, that

is what Ghostbusters do."

We had a guy at one of our

video stores that I worked at,

where we eventually had

to cancel his membership

because we figured out

it was him.

But his hobby was renting

children's movies,

and then splicing in pornography

in the middle of them

and returning them to us.

So they'd go back on our

rental shelves.

I have finished planting

detonators.

We have less than two minutes!

It entertained this guy.

And with VHS

that was a tangible thing

he could do it to.

My friend lent me a tape of a

movie he taped for me recently.

I went all the way

to the end of the tape

just to see how many layers

of things has he taped over

And you kinda catch the tail-end

of a movie from Cinemax

or, like, a music video,

or this TV show,

all the way to the something

that was taped originally

from 1987.

And it was really great

just to see

who this guy-you know,

what he was watching,

for the past 25 years.

Lawrence of Arabia is one of

my favorite films.

And when I go see a print

of that in the theater,

every scratch, every break,

every place you see a splice,

there's a story behind that.

Something happened

with that movie,

something happened

with that print

when it was

shown to an audience.

And there's something about that

that, to me,

'cause you know that print's had

some life and some legs on it.

VHS could do that.

It's almost like VHS has a

built-in hit counter.

In that, like, you can tell how

many times it's been copied

by the way that it looks.

And so, you knew that when you

got a tape,

if you were in tape trading,

like, the shittier it looked

and the worse it sounded,

you just knew it was

gonna be gold

because that meant that

10 people before you

had copied it, and thought that

it was funny enough,

or great enough, or weird

enough, to make a copy

and then pass it to their friends,

who thought the same thing.

So it was like this vetting

process, you know, where...

Uh, this distillery of images,

or something.

So that by the time you got it,

it was like, potent

and, you know,

gonna get you high.

Priest is bad, man.

Priest is number one

in heavy metal, man.

And then who comes next?

Iron Maiden, man.

What would you say

if you saw Rob Halford

right now?

I'd jump his bones!

What do you think, uh-

What do you like about him?

He's great, man, he

sings great. Group's great.

How 'bout Dokken?

Great. Excellent.

Are you f***ed up?

The Southpark

Christmas Special,

I never had a copy of that

and somebody I knew had it

and they were like,

"Really? You don't have a copy?

That's crazy.

Everybody has a copy of this."

And so I was like,

"Well, make me a copy.

You know, just, come on, if

everybody has it, give me one."

I remember the guy being like,

"Well, what do you have for me?"

And that was the first moment

where I was like,

"Oh... That's right,

tape trading."

The Winnebago concepts

and engineering departments

have developed a

multi-functional bathroom

privacy I don't even know

what the f*** I'm reading.

I wonder what the f***

the real dialogue is.

What the f*** is this thing?

Oh, the windshield

for f***'s sake.

I gave that guy a collection

I had gotten from somebody else,

that had Winnebago Man on it.

That had Larry Williams,

it had Jesco,

It had the Jackass pilot,

The best of the worst of

Star Search,

which was really awesome.

And I got the

Southpark Christmas Special.

- Dude!

- What?

Don't put the magic hat

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