Ricki and the Flash Page #5

they didn't forget about you,

though they had reason to.

You should be kissing

my feet right now.

Bullshit!

Well...

I didn't want it

to go like this.

Well, that's how it's going.

Do you need help

paying for a flight back?

You wish.

Hey...

Pete's still in love with me.

I'm gonna let you have that.

I couldn't find Julie. Oh, okay.

Shuttles aren't so bad.

It's like sharing a taxi.

Yeah, it's great.

Thanks for, uh, calling.

It was nice to see you.

Ultimately, I think

it was good that you came.

Yeah, it was a real...

Uh, fly safely.

I have no control over that.

- No.

- Wait.

Okay. Later.

Yeah.

Sorry. I'm sorry.

Whoo!

Gotta keep playing

r-r-r-r-r-rock 'n' roll, baby

whoo!

Yeah. Thanks.

That was

the amazing Edgar winter. Ahem.

And before that,

of course, the rolling stones.

Oh, Mick.

Yeah. Funny thing

about Mick Jagger.

He's got seven children

by four different women.

Do you believe that?

Get it, Mick! Ow!

Yeah. Yeah, busy guy, right?

Yes, ma'am.

Of course, he didn't

raise those kids.

He's a rock star.

And more importantly,

he's not the mother.

Daddy can do

whatever daddy wants.

Daddy can go make love

with whoever he wants.

He can take risks.

He can get hooked on drugs.

He can leave and...

Who cares? Some people get hurt.

As long as you get some great

songs out of it. Ha, ha.

Okay. Let's hear some of

those great songs right now.

- Whoo!

- Yeah.

Hey, by the way, though,

your kids will still respect

and they'll love you

because you're the man!

You know what I'm talking

about, girls? Yeah.

But if you're a woman, mm-mm.

God forbid you should forget

one school concert or you...

Or a wedding or...

Or you forget

to be the tooth fairy...

One time because you had a gig.

Congratulations,

you're a monster.

Okay, ricki,

I think that's enough.

You're scaring some guys here.

I felt my balls

suck up into my body.

Ow!

You didn't

need them anyway, Greg.

Ooh.

Yes, I actually do, Linda.

What did...? Excuse me?

What the hell are you doing?

Let's keep it tight,

people. Come on.

Oh, yeah. You're right,

you're right, buster.

What do we got up next?

We got pink.

Pink. Ooh. Pink.

Whoo! Pink. Let's get

this party started.

So you better

get this party started

so?

I'm sorry.

It's been a difficult week.

It's been a difficult few years,

but I still love you.

I can't say that?

Do I ever get to say that?

Do you love me?

Of course, I love you.

Of course, I do.

And I love buster and I love Joey.

Oh...

I don't mean do you love me like

Wendy loves

the goddamn lost boys.

I mean, do you love me?

What is your interest in me?

What do you...?

What? I don't get...

I'm old, I'm broke,

I can't cook a decent meal,

I'm getting fat.

Why would you love

a ruined person

who ruins other people, kids?

Is that it?

You think because

you screwed up once,

you don't get a second chance?

I cheated on my first wife

with a stripper

from the seventh veil

who was addicted

to codeine cough syrup.

My kids didn't forgive me.

They're still mad.

I get a calendar for Christmas.

Doesn't matter

if your kids love you.

It's not their job to love you.

It's your job to love them.

That's why you were put here.

That's why you're their mom.

That's why I'm my kids' dad.

I love my kids so much.

Don't you?

Yeah.

So you wanna just be friends?

Uh...

Mm-mm.

More? More.

Unh! Jesus.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, this rules.

Sorry.

Credit or debit?

Debit. Hundred dollars

cash back, please.

Okay.

There you go. Thank you.

Out of my way. Out of my way.

Okay.

Whoo!

Whoo!

Oh!

I love you, baby.

Come on, come on

let's work together

"dear, ricki.

"I'm sorry

about some of the words

"we exchanged during your visit.

"As you know,

it's a loaded topic,

"and we haven't had

many chances to talk about it.

"Please accept

this olive branch from me

"and I hope we can try again

on better terms.

"Enclosed, please find

something I feel

"you should've received

a long time ago.

"You're entitled to it.

"Hope to see you on the big day.

Maureen."

"Emily Anne. Joshua Hendrix."

I see a red door

and I want it painted black

"in lieu of a gift,

please make a donation

to one of the following

charities."

Oh, my god. That's crazy.

Who gets married

and doesn't milk it for free stuff?

My son.

There you go. Well, for my

wedding, I'm getting a waffle iron

and a panini maker and...

Ha, ha.

Hey, Joe. Hey, Joe.

"This invitation is embedded

with wildflower seeds

and can be planted."

That is bougie.

I thought you'd get a kick out of it.

Ha, ha. Yes. Yes.

You excited about the wedding, then?

I'm not going.

What? You gotta go.

It won't be sexy without you.

If I show up there,

something terrible will happen.

You don't know these people.

They despise me.

Anyway...

They don't know anything about

any part of this situation.

Okay, I hear you.

But sometimes

a boy needs his mama.

Even I need my mama sometimes

and she's literally Satan.

Thanks, Daniel, but I can't go.

I don't have the money.

Greg and I discussed it,

and we just can't do it.

We can't.

We don't have it.

Well, if I had it,

I'd give it to you.

I would gladly tithe

to the church of ricki.

Testes, one, two.

Get up there and sing. Yeah.

Come on. Come on.

- Ch-ch-ch...

- Here we go.

Ch-ch-ch. One, two,

one, two, three, four.

Come on, now.

Ow!

Thanks, everybody.

Whoo!

Where's your guitar?

I don't know. I felt like

playing this one.

What? You hate this guitar.

The banana. Ha-ha-ha.

Come on.

What's going on?

Where's your '68 Gibson?

I sold it.

You sold it? Why?

Yo, ricki! "Drift away"!

Yes, baby.

Oh, no!

Oh, my god!

I wanna get lost in your

rock 'n' roll and drift away

gorgeous.

Come on out, babe.

I look absurd.

I'm sure you look gorgeous.

I look like my mother.

Well, that's not possible.

Your mother's dead.

Oh, you look beautiful.

Come on,

that is the most amazing blue.

Looks like Roger daltrey's eyes

from Tommy.

Thanks.

Are you finished with these?

Yeah. Do you have

anything black?

Black? We'll take this one.

Okay. It looks nice.

How do you know

these tsa scanners

aren't government mind control?

These days, nothing would

surprise me.

See they made me

take my toe ring off?

I can't believe

that woman, Janet,

made me take

the Tequila out of my bag.

That was cabo wabo,

Sammy hagar's recipe.

Does he look like

a terrorist to you?

Told you,

you can't bring liquids.

There goes my wedding present.

It's good to be

on the road back home again

oh, I can't do this.

Can't do what?

I can't go to this wedding.

Big mistake.

Gotta call buster,

tell him we're

heading back to L.A.

No way. Come on, you're

the mother of the groom.

There's no understudy,

sweetheart.

I'm so scared.

Wow.

- Hi, I'm Bodhi.

- Hey, Bodhi.

Hi. Thank you for coming.

You can pick up

your table number here.

These are bags

for the birdseed toss.

Also, Emily and Josh request

that you turn off

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