Riding in Cars with Boys

There on a windswept bluff, he stands

waiting. The man of your dreams.

The man who'll love you more

than anything the rest of your life.

You run to each other.

Your bodies, your lips...

...they're coming closer and closer

together. Until, finally...

...you kiss.

Okay, go.

Janet, like this.

I feel weird, Bev.

Weird? Wait till he shoves

his tongue in your mouth.

Ann, did you get the lights

for the dining room?

I'm looking for them, Teresa.

Now this is Christmas, huh?

Yes, it's beautif ul.

Have Lou look for them.

She wants it up

before Leo and Bev get back.

I gotta go.

Okay, Leo.

Beverly Ann Donof rio, your father's

waiting to go buy the tree!

I'm coming, Mom!

Okay, so is Christmas.

- This song's giving me a headache.

- Wait. Before you go with Pop.

Why would a guy

put his tongue in my mouth?

What?!

A boy does that because

he wants you to bite it off.

Go.

Bye, Mom.

Hi.

- You ready?

- Yeah.

Let's go.

- Pop, everyone's decorating the house.

- Good.

Janet wanted to come.

When you're in college,

it'll be her turn.

Dreaming of warmth?

Dream with the Everly Brothers.

- Good, that's our song!

- Great! Ready? One, two:

Pop, this is it! Pull over.

The big one, there. See?

I'll buy that for you when I'm rich.

- I bet you will.

- Mom and sis would like it.

You know what you want for Christmas?

You want the bike, right?

It's the bike. But you think

it's too expensive.

See, I know how you think.

Speak up. If you don't ask for

anything, it's what you get, nothing.

Okay.

There's this guy, Billy Schnar,

he's really cute.

Billy Schnar?

We're the smartest in class.

You know who he likes? Guess!

- Who?

- Melissa Thomas, you know her?

The one with braces and ugly red hair.

She thought Israel was in Europe.

You know why he likes her? Guess!

- Because she's stupid.

- No, because she's got b*obs!

Or it looks like she does,

but she doesn't. She wears a bra...

...which squishes her fat together...

...and makes her look like

she has big b*obs.

Pop, I'm gonna die

if I don't marry Billy Schnar.

I'm gonna die all because

Melissa has b*obs?

That's just way too tragic,

even for Shakespeare.

Okay, Pop, so that's why for

Christmas, I'd like a bra.

To enhance what I got,

which is more than Melissa.

- You're too young.

- Pop, you can't negotiate my b*obs.

Too young or not, I've got them.

I'm a woman.

- It's hard to see through my clothes.

- Quiet!

The answer is no.

Keep your mind on books, not boys.

This is why therapists are wealthy:

moments like this.

Why didn't he just get her the bra?

/t's certainly cheaper than a bicycle.

Parents and the damage they can do.

Sometimes, it's endless.

But she survived.

y ou know what they say:

'That which doesn't kill you,

makes you want to die. '

/f she was Southern,

she'd have turned life into a song.

Since she's from Connecticut,

she turned it into a memoir.

Someone wants to publish it,

if she clears one hurdle.

So she called me for help.

That's why this is a tough day

to tell her /'m leaving her.

/ can always tell when she's nervous.

She wears a lot of makeup.

And today, she's packed on

an extra layer of nervous.

Forty minutes late.

I'm not complaining.

- It's just so unlike you.

- Sorry.

We went off to solve the problem.

Her problem. Mine would have to wait.

- What happened?

- You're cold, lean into the vent.

Sorry.

- Thanks for driving me to Wallingford.

- Just make it fast.

If Ray doesn't sign,

they won't publish it.

He will.

- I know seeing Ray is hard for you.

- Seeing Ray doesn't bother me.

It should. And I understand.

I won't make myself nuts.

I'll stay calm and be positive.

Good.

Did I show you the galleys?

It's starting to look

like a real book.

- Did you just put spit in my hair?

- Yeah, I'm fixing it. Sorry.

Just a little...

Okay.

I have a surprise for you.

I finished the dedication.

'Of the many men who have come into my

life, there is finally one I trust.

Jason, this book is for you.'

Don't take this the wrong way...

...but don't dedicate the book to me.

Let's just leave it at that.

Just don't.

Fine. Fine. Great.

I'm sorry, it is possible I have

my own stuff going on today.

What? What is it?

No. It's nothing.

I'll get over it. Look, don't worry.

I'm having a bad day.

What's one bad day, right?

One day? Are you kidding?

Let me quote myself.

'One day can make your life.

One day can ruin your life.

All life is, is four or five big days

that change everything.'

Sky Barrister is my dreamboat!

Sit down, you'll hurt yourself.

Be caref ul.

- Tina, you need a little more rouge.

- I have some right here.

Hey, Bev! Tina!

- Where you going?

- We're going to a party!

- Can we come?

- Sorry.

She wouldn't let us come

to some party.

Are we invited to this party?

- They're Fay's f riends.

- They're not.

My parents are f riends

with their parents.

What's important is

Sky Barrister will be there.

Sky has had his hands

in everything you got.

And has a ton of your poems.

And does he call you once?

No. Bev, you are truly a great person.

But someone as conceited

as Sky won't see that.

Because all he can see is himself.

- You know I'm right.

- It's true, Bev.

- Let me wear that dress.

- What?

If I look half as beautif ul

as you in that dress...

...Sky will have to notice me.

- You can wear my dress.

- No.

No, Bev. It won't fit.

- You got to let me wear that dress.

- Why?

Because I love you.

- Please, please, please.

- All right.

Put the top up!

Look at all these new cars.

Tina, park in the street.

Come on!

- Did you take my scarf?

- I got it. You're sitting on my purse.

Bobby will crash with his f riend.

This dress is swimming on me.

And don't blame me

if this party's boring and no f un.

Fun? Fun?

Fun is what you bring with you.

- Do I have something in my braces?

- I don't know.

There.

- It's out.

- Yeah.

Who invited her to my party?

Who? Did you? Did you?

I invited Fay.

The noseguard points to me,

like he's gonna hurt me.

- Quick, give me that!

- They're stuffing themselves.

- Guess it's what Bobby likes.

- Wonder what that feels like.

- Are they even?

- I think so.

- You could be with any girl here.

- Of course, I know that.

I'm just a placekicker.

Bobby, wait. Where are we going?

- Come here.

- What?

Mind if I sit?

Great.

- Who's that sitting on Kevin?

- Some townie.

- Who'd you come with?

- Ray Hasek.

- Him? Where is he?

- In the bathroom.

Stay here.

Hello, Sky.

Tommy, why do you gotta

sneak up on people?

You idiot. Shoot!

Sorry, Bev. I didn't mean

to scare you.

I'm sorry. I'm just completely

distracted at the moment.

Don't talk right now.

- Hungry?

- Oh, sure.

- You want some salt?

- Sure.

I checked out F. Scott

Fitzgerald's stories...

I'm doing something daring right now,

and I'm working up some optimism.

- What are you doing?

- Nothing.

- I'm just a big chicken.

- No, Bev.

Someone once said a coward and a hero

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