Road to Fame

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Karen, check it out! Mara Enamorada.

That divine soap opera.

How long's it been on?

Five years. Look at Eva Gallardo.

- She looks dreadful.

- Does not!

Let's give our audience

that juicy gossip we promised.

Okay, but it's just a rumour. Pure grapevine.

Turns out they're making

a movie version of Mara Enamorada!

They're scouting for the new

Mara Enamorada all over Mexico.

So any girl from anywhere, Zapopan,

Coatzacoalcos, San Wackacuacka,

can audition to become a movie superstar.

Imagine! You wake up one morning

and you're a superstar!

I'm Francisca. Francisca Jorge.

I want to be Mara Enamorada in the movie.

Because she's pretty

and stuff happens to her.

She saw this pageant.

Where they all parade out

for their beauty and all.

She lapped it up.

She'd run out of the house in her undies.

She'd go, "I wanna be Miss Oaxaca!"

But nothing ever came of it.

So like a real movie star? I don't think so.

I love to sing. And learn stuff by heart.

Like songs or news.

Now? No, I'm too embarrassed.

"Eva Gallardo, undisputed soap opera diva,

"famous for her role as Mara Enamorada,

"refused to comment

on the search for her successor

"for the film version of the role

that immortalised her.

"And now, some reactions

from the world of showbiz."

How dare you? I no longer love you!

- You feel nothing at my caress?

- Not a thing.

- Say it. Say it!

- Get your paws off me, a**hole!

Stop shaking me! Cut!

- The director said to!

- To hell with the director.

When you jiggle me, I wobble all over.

- Maybe tone up the flabby triceps...

- Shut up!

- From the top, perhaps?

- You get lost, too.

Get me Alejandro!

Where's the damn producer?

Obviously, nobody here knows how to treat

a star who slaves 16 hours a day.

You shine those glaring infomercial lights

that pick up wrinkles I don't even have.

I look past 30.

- Find Alejandro.

- What are you hiding? Hand it over!

Give it!

maybe we could rehearse...

We're all set, Evita. Let's all calm down.

Eva, if you'd be so kind...

Yeah, well, for her to look 30,

she'd need a radio play.

That's the great Gallardo!

Hi, I'm Ximena Lizrraga.

I'm from Guadalajara.

I adore my mom and dad.

They're my best friends.

The family is of long lineage.

The name Lizrraga goes back generations.

If my husband gets wind

of the contest, he'll kill us.

As a boy, my husband played banker.

So cute. With little tellers and all.

You know my husband.

Xime always dreamt of being an actress.

She visualised herself.

But she was a bit on the pudgy side.

Bite it! Bite it!

Watch your manners, Santiago!

Blubber!

One day, she went on a diet, and bam!

She inherited the family will power.

Bye-bye brownies, bye-bye doughnuts.

And she's a Leo.

Lizrraga ascendant. Little joke!

So anyway... How am I doing?

Care for coffee? I have Baileys.

You see it,

and you go for it.

Fifty pounds, and dropping fast.

The camera adds weight.

I'm two sizes smaller than I look on screen.

And since I'll be on screen forever...

'Cause I'm doing that film.

And then another.

And tons more.

You see it, and you go for it.

- You think I need a boob job?

- Maybe. Just a tad...

I told her you were on long distance.

Yeah, well, for long distance,

you're pretty close.

Eva! Always lovely to see you, darling.

Get them two sizes bigger.

They'll look great.

Honey, what part of

"don't-call-us-we'll-call-you"

don't you get?

Excuse me.

Save your breath.

I stopped caring who you screw

since your little video with what's-her-face.

And that was what?

Two, three hundred sluts ago?

Seriously...

Where did we go wrong?

That stuff doesn't work any more with me.

Know why? 'Cause I'm over 20.

The light guy's a pro...

- Dim the lights or I'm history.

- You're thirty-fi...

Shut up!

Even NASA can't make you look 20...

Watch the way you talk to me.

I'm this network's biggest star.

Look, "network's biggest star,"

yesterday's ratings.

Things change in five years.

It's a crappy part! I need to do that film.

- And you need to kill the rumours.

- Nobody promised you the part!

What?

Nobody else can do that part.

Come on, Eva.

Who's going to swallow you

as a virginal, na:ve, small-town girl

at your age?

What age is that?

Name one actress who can play that part.

Turn over any rock

and out crawls an actress.

- That's how I discovered you.

- Who were you before you discovered me?

You were nobody, baby. Nobody.

I made you.

Tomorrow I'm setting up

nationwide casting

for the new Mara Enamorada.

And I'll find her. I will.

You wouldn't dare.

You must've had some shred of virtue

to make me love you so.

You're listening to the hottest of the hot!

Heads up, all you cuties!

Your big break has finally come.

Be the next Mara Enamorada

in your very own movie.

But hurry up! We need a new star!

God damn it, Yesenia!

You leave me

with this frazzled poodle look?

Hi there. My name's Yesenia.

I'm 23 and come from Ciudad Neza.

This is Angelina.

Our family dog's got the blues,

'cause Brad ate a poisoned rat and died.

Yesenia's my sis, man.

She's into this artsy thing,

which is totally awesome.

Like singing, you know? Singing's an art

where she, like, totally rules.

It's tough. People don't really

appreciate art around here.

Yesenia was always into performing

and being famous and all.

In school, she'd put on

these, like, choreographies.

- What do you call them?

- "Gypnastics."

She'd do this Shakira number,

shake her booty all over.

She put on routines here with the boys.

In all modesty, I coached her.

Like hot, kick-ass moves.

Sort of like this.

Total class, man.

Cut! Cut!

That was before.

I said homework and no TV.

Who turned on the TV? Homework!

No wonder you don't know sh*t. Read!

Who'd I tell to do the dishes?

What's so funny?

They're looking for me!

- It's my big break, Mom!

- Fricking Yesenia.

Cut it out! Quit it!

Drop that! Quit spraying! Gimme!

Let someone else get the chocolate stains

off your underpants!

Who's looking for you?

I was in the beauty shop

combing a client's...

Hey, little buggers! Christmas time!

Look what the big honcho has for you.

Hi, Mom!

All yours! Who's your daddy?

You give them some dorky stolen sneakers

and you're the king of the jungle.

I feel the pride.

Stolen? You been hanging out with Wiskas?

They ain't stolen.

At times we disagree somewhat.

Stolen? B*tch!

Mom, I gotta tell you.

They're looking for

a new Mara Enamorada for a movie.

And it's gonna be me!

I've always been supportive of her.

Like they're gonna pick you! Buy a mirror!

We're a close-knit family.

- Mom!

- Mom!

A sister needs advice, support.

- She started it!

- He did!

I counselled her, "Give the max."

- Excuse me, Grandma.

- Giovanni?

No, Grandma.

- Carlos!

- Whatever.

No. You're Starr. Right? You're Starr.

It's something you just know.

Like the existence of God.

Not that God drops by your house

for breakfast or stuff.

But you know.

Like when you're being two-timed.

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